Houses of WWE: 'Game of Thrones'-style Superstar crests
Winter is coming, WWE Universe. And let’s face it, with the characters on “Game of Thrones” dropping like flies each passing week, the folks in Westeros could use a few more lords and ladies to fill out their ranks. Well, have no fear, House Lannister et. al, WWE.com has you covered. In fact, here are 15 WWE Superstars and Divas who would be right at home alongside The Imp, The Kingslayer and The Mother of Dragons in the do-or-die world that George R.R. Martin built.
It will take more than a mountain to topple the head of House Orton. Having slain giants and manipulated friend and foe alike, the self-styled “Apex Predator” of the WWE Universe has proven to be a difficult man to trust and a harder one still to defeat, first making his name by targeting some of the most storied legends of the realm. Randy Orton’s dominance continues to this day for one simple reason: Unlike most Superstars who you can see coming a mile away, this snake can truly strike “outta nowhere.”
Look all you want, but don’t touch that which lies under the protection of House Bella’s twin ladies, Brie and Nikki. Practitioners of a rare form of sorcery known as “Twin Magic” (only House Uso has otherwise mastered the technique), the Ladies Bella have slowly expanded their dominion on a grassroots level, gaining favor with the people by way of a marriage with House Bryan. The WWE Universe follows their trials and tribulations with the “Total Divas” bulletins distributed by the emissaries of House E! twice a year, but don’t let their pretty faces fool you. Brie and Nikki are as dangerous as they are beautiful. Give them a chance to show it, and you’ll regret ever underestimating them.
In a frozen tundra, where few dare tread, sits the fearsome ruler of House Lesnar. Rumored to be more beast than man, Brock Lesnar first appeared to the WWE Universe as a raging, untamed youth in 2002 before entering a self-imposed exile to study a lethal form of martial arts. Ten years later he returned, transformed, disciplined and nearly unstoppable, conquering anything that stood in his path while his messenger, Paul Heyman, spread word of his dominance to all who would listen. Motivated solely by money and the promise of a body at his feet, Lesnar lives by a simple code, spoken in hushed whispers throughout the land: “Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat.”
No king and queen of the realm were ever as beloved as The Macho King Randy Savage and his Queen, known to all as simply Miss Elizabeth. Despite the fact that both passed before their time, Savage’s brother — a ballading bard of staggering intellect and remarkable leaping ability — has kept the House and its three-star sigil intact in honor of the departed King. And Savage was posthumously awarded the highest honor: Enshrinement into the Hall of Fame to the delight of the WWE Universe at large.
From the ashes of House Shield there arose three separate dominions: The noble House Reigns, the nomadic House Ambrose, and most insufferably of all, the self-aggrandizing House Rollins. Having thrown in with the King of the WWE Universe to secure his own future and shatter the bond of House Shield brotherhood, Seth Rollins is surrounded by many hangers-on but few true friends. Only his chiefs of security, Sirs Noble and Mercury, seem to place a nonmonetary value upon his safety. Still, his chicanery has paid off, as Rollins currently claims the highest seat in the WWE Universe and wears his treachery like a badge of honor. He brands his house with the seal of a broken shield to remind all of what he has done … and what he may yet be capable of.
They say Tywin Lannister has gold running through his bowels, but Ric Flair seeps it through his very pores. How else to explain the seemingly bottomless vaults of House Flair, which favors style and profile above all? A purveyor of only the finest custom-made clothes and extravagant retinues (his House bears the sigil of one horse, but he prefers four at any given time), Flair’s opulence is rivaled only by the unscrupulous means with which he goes about his business. He’s even known to some as “The Dirtiest Player in the Game” for his underhanded tactics, though to him, that’s as precious a title as any diamond on his wrist.
Though the head of House Guerrero is long since gone, the WWE Universe still echoes the motto of the realm’s most notorious trickster, lying, cheating and stealing their way to victory whenever it so suits them. In honor of Eddie Guerrero, even the most noble-minded of Superstars will occasionally employ his trademark deceptions to one-up an opponent, but the WWE Universe doesn’t mind seeing their heroes stoop to chicanery. Having any extra reason to honor a man who passed on far too soon is good enough for them.
A little-known liege lord who rose to prominence through pure, ruthless aggression, John Cena is the realm’s most recognizable, and divisive, representative. The bright colors of his retinue and relentlessness of his charity work have endeared him to the youth of the realm, while older members of the WWE Universe are more split on their support. Cena takes any criticism in stride, however, living by his code of “Hustle, Loyalty and Respect” as he racks up accolades one at a time. The rallying cry of his beloved “Cenation” is that their time is now. Truthfully, though, their time is just getting started.
Marking his territory in a swamp some say is haunted by the ghost of his adopted mother, Bray Wyatt straddles the line between warrior and wizard in pursuit of a supernatural transformation. Claiming to be the physical embodiment of fear itself, Wyatt has made it a habit of indoctrinating various wanderers into a self-styled family, “fixing” them before releasing his reformed charges back into the world. His throne a creaky rocking chair and his castle a dilapidated shack, the most unusual of Wyatt’s eccentricities is that his House carries an open-door policy: All are welcome. Simply follow the buzzards and surrender your soul.
In contrast to the pompous Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns has taken up the life of a wandering warrior ever since the dissolution of House Shield. Though he lays claim to lands surrounding the isles of Anoa’i, Reigns has forsaken whatever throne he might inherit and taken it upon himself to topple his enemies, one at a time, in pursuit of the crown jewel of the WWE Universe. Beloved by some who see him as their protector and greeted with skepticism by others who question his validity as a ruler, it’s still only a matter of time before this howling warrior becomes a king in his own right. And if it’s not by popular choice, it’ll be by pure force. Believe that.
Residing somewhere between 110th Street and Houston, the dominion of House T extends to the farthest corners of the WWE Universe and beyond. Racking up a treasure chest's worth of professional accolades, King Booker presides over his people with an open hand that, if need be, clenches into a bejeweled fist to dole out discipline to suckas who disobey his edicts. Having retired from active combat into a role as one of the realm’s town criers alongside Lord Layfield and Sir Cole, Booker remains happy to observe and record the goings-on of the realm instead of lacing up his boots for further combat. But disrespect will not be taken lightly.
An institution of the realm for more than 30 years, the head of House Hogan presides over the WWE Universe as the elder statesman. A hero to a generation who grew up with tales of his conquests, Lord Hogan has settled into an ambassadorial role, though his classic red-and-yellow colors still inspire a frenzy known only to local healers as “Hulkamania” whenever he passes through. Remarkably, the 24-inch pythons he carries with him at all times have long outlived their lifespan, leading many to believe that Hulk Hogan truly is, as the legends say, immortal.
Ironically or otherwise, there is no house in the WWE Universe with more support among the people than House Ziggler. Irony is, of course, the way Dolph Ziggler tends to like it. As quick with his kicks as he is with his quips, he has made his name off irritating just about everyone who crosses his path, which is partly why the WWE Universe took such a liking to him in the first place. It’s not hard to see why. If a man who talks a good game and then goes out and proves himself right isn’t a hero, then no one is. Oh, and on Wednesdays, he wears pink.
Presided over by two self-styled sons of a traveling merchant, no line favors the extreme more than House Dudley. Governed by one simple commandment — Thou Shalt Not Mess With The Dudleys — House Dudley is notable for its surplus stores of wood and unusual dining customs. Guests at a feast are just as likely to be thrown through a table as eat from it. Denizens of the realm suspect the two are not unrelated.
Both Kings and Kings of Kings alike have looked down on the hardworking House Bryan for years. Yet time and time again, the working class champion of the WWE Universe has made their insults stick in their throats by defeating every challenger that comes before him. David and Goliath comparisons aren’t even apt anymore; Daniel Bryan overcomes his enemies by meticulously scouting their weaknesses and chipping away in combat until they throw down their arms and beg for mercy. Much to the irritation of the highborn lords of the locker-room landscape, House Bryan is something of a folk-hero house to the people of the realm. Commoners and local luminaries alike have taken up the house’s rallying cry of “Yes!” igniting a movement that has shaken the monarchy to its very foundation.