The real 'Idol'

The real 'Idol'

Will the "real" American Idol please stand up and take your bow? And for the record, although she won, in my eyes (which the world sees through) it's not Jordin Sparks, and it's definitely not Blake (although the kid does have skillz). And for crying out loud, it's in no way shape or form the CM Punk of American Idol, Sanjaya!


The American Idol that I'm referring to is none other that Melinda Doolittle! It just saddens me that this talented singer wasn't in her rightful spot on the two-hour finale of American Idol. We all know that she was by far the best singer in all of American Idol history. Yes, there were other greats such as Kelly Clarkson, Fantasia and William Hung (BANG!), but there were no Idols who could sing any song from any genre with as much ease and perfection as Melinda.


It just baffles me that she didn't receive the winning votes that she should have when it came down to the final three. Was it because she wasn't as young as Jordin (who is only 17) or a metrosexual, like the hip-hop Blake? Some haters have even gone as far as saying that Melinda looks like Shrek!


Now THAT I have a problem with. How can people make those sorts of comments about this talented singer and not clarify which Shrek she looks like? I'm so confused now that I'm watching all three Shrek movies to spot the similarities. But for real, she may not have had the sweet innocent attractiveness of Jordin, but she was modest, sincere and had a voice of an angel. In my book, Melinda Doolittle is truly the winner of American Idol! Besides, I don't hear anyone complaining about ECW Original Balls Mahoney's looks!? That guy looks like a hybrid of creatures from The Lord of the Rings. Which one you ask? Take your pick. Good for him though because I heard that WWE films have Balls slated to be cast in the upcoming horror film remake of The Exorcist! Gawd help us all!


It's funny how one often doesn't receive the fair credit that he or she deserves because of popularity. Blake was popular because he was perceived to be cool with the young hip-hop audience. Jordin was popular because she was perceived as sweet and innocent by all parents and the young girls who want to be her. But Melinda only had her talents and support from unbiased professionals (including myself and American Idol judges) who were pulling for her. It kinda reminds me of myself and my place in ECW. We have so many peeps that are getting by because they are perceived a certain way with a certain audience. Somehow, what should be a contest between two athletes in the middle of the ring turns out to be nothing but a popularity contest.


For instance, there's CM Punk! Here's a guy that appeal to, ahem, punks and half of the teenage population. But does that make the so-called Straightedge Superstar with the Pepsi tattoo better that me? If Charles Montgomery had any sense, he'd cover up that gawd-awful Pepsi logo because we all know that Coca-Cola is far better (at least that's what the ladies tell me when they see YOUR Host of Hosts' hidden tattoo). It just goes to show you that he's a distant second when it comes to me!


Then there's Bobby Lashley, who appeals to the masses because of his muscles. Wow, look at the big bald guy with the big muscles. Okay!!!! Alright!!!!!! I guess that's cool to some as well, but does that make him better than me? Hey, I have a brain. There's no way in the world I'm going to oppose the Chairman of the Board and agree to a 3-on-1 Handicap Match for my title. Again, it just goes to show you that former champion Bobby is all muscle and no brain!


Then there's my dawg, Vince! You know him as Mr. McMahon. He's the Chairman, and my personal friend, so he definitely has my support! Here's my thing: Two of the above-mentioned individuals have worn the ECW World Title, while the other is trying to beat me to that title. Is Lashley championship material? Well, he's been the champion before, so that's a no-brainer (pun intended).


Is Mr. McMahon championship material? Of course he is! He's a former WWE Champion and Royal Rumble winner. I mean, we all know that he's keeping the ECW World Title warm for me. Then there's the backstabbing straightedge disgrace that is Charles Montgomery Punk. (If he so straightedge, why does he constantly have to remind people?) Is he on his way to becoming ECW World Champion? Not if I have anything to do with it. My point is, like American Idol, contests should be based on talent and talent alone. Not looks and tattoos.


Wrestling is not a popularity contest, but a contest based on talents and skillz, which YOUR Paragon of Virtue possesses. And while I am indeed widely popular and idolized by millions around the world, I choose to earn my keep. So, as of right now I'm not wearing the gold, but I think that we all know who the true uncrowned champion of ECW is … ME! The Golden Boy with the Silver Tongue, Elijah Burke!


Editors note: Don't agree with me? In need of my Guiding Light? Send your questions, comments and concerns to

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