Diary of Violence for June 17, 2006
Welcome to the very first entry in my Diary of Violence. I hope you enjoy my weekly thoughts of what is going on in my extreme world.
This is my platform to say what is truly in my heart. I would like to concentrate this first entry on something I really need to get off my chest. I need to address three specific items, and by no means should anything I write be read into or be misinterpreted.
First, THANK YOU TERRY FUNK. Words cannot express what Terry Funk means to me personally and professionally. Terry is my wrestling father. If you are a fan of this business you need to watch Terry Funk matches from any point in his career (hint hint WWE DVD dept. Terry Funk DVD in stores ASAP—please, you own every bit of wrestling footage ever). Terry Funk is a true pioneer of this business. When people talk legends of wrestling the names Sammartino, Graham, Hogan, Funk, Flair, Stone Cold, and Rock should roll off their tongues. Terry Funk helped put ECW on the map, and he’s one of the most gifted performers I have ever been around. Give Terry Funk a microphone and he can make you laugh or cry, or make you love him or hate him. If you are around him you’ll think he’s a maniac or a genius. I have experienced every emotion with him. He took me under his wing for one reason and one reason only: our shared love of wrestling. I have to admit, I thought the Funker was finally showing his age leading up to ECW: One Night Stand. Terry expressed concerns about the steps to the ring that night. The guy is 62 years old with no knee. That’s right—NO KNEE! His knee no longer exists. I thought I would have to carry him to the ring, but when I got to the ring, I saw passion in his eyes, and the madman from the Double Cross Ranch was back and on fire. (So was Mick Foley, but that makes for a whole other entry). The world got to witness another great Terry Funk performance and I was damn proud to be there with him. Edge, I will give you props. You were in the match that stole the show at WrestleMania, and now you can add ECW One Night Stand to your resume. (Edge scored a pin in both matches as well, but that too is another entry). When it was all said and done, Terry received stitches and had a bunch of new holes in his body thanks to some barbed wire. Terry pulled me aside, and with a boyish grin said, “Isn’t this the greatest business in the world?” My reply? “Yes.” It’s two madmen sharing a common bond. Thanks, Terry, for being you and giving us another taste of your greatness; from the bottom of my heart, Thanks. What a match.
Second, THANK YOU BEULAH McGILLICUTTY. I’ll be honest: she never wanted to come back. She was forced by me last year (okay, I begged). She is happy being away from wrestling, and this year she busted her butt in the gym to get into ring shape. Many people complimented on how good she looked. Actually, four out of five doctors recommend that standing between Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer makes anyone look good. Beulah was nervous that the fans had forgotten her or that she wouldn’t look the same, but all the wrestlers and fans said she looks like she hasn’t aged at all. Personally, I didn’t like her eye makeup, but hey, look at me. Beulah went from being a Penthouse Pet to a MILF (ECDUB ECDUB). Beulah always stood by me in the best and worst of times. Trust me, when I tell you that’s no easy thing to do—I’m a maniac. Beulah is still one of the toughest women out there. She severely sprained her ankle at the start of the match and kept going. She goes out there because of my passion, and love of this business. I have to put that aside now. I don’t think we’ll be seeing a lot of her. She got hurt because of me, and it was my decision to have her return. Beulah has two very important things in her life that take precedence over wrestling. I’m very sorry you got hurt, and thanks for always standing by Tommy Dreamer. I love you more than I can ever put into words.
And last, THANK YOU ECW FANS. You never let me down. You voice your opinion and let the world feel your passion. I could sit in that atmosphere of the Hammerstein Ballroom all night long. You’re the greatest fans ever. ECW was all about you. Together, we changed the landscape of professional wrestling. I feel like I go back in time with every visit to the Hammerstein, although I wish I could have more hair and be thinner—ha ha. You’re all my extended family and without you there is no me. I know we’re venturing into uncharted waters with the rebirth of ECW (trust me, I’ll get into that next week). Please don’t change anything about who you are. I want the loud, honest, vocal—and sometimes drunk—ECW fans. I feed off your passion. You made ECW unique and now let’s show the world who we are. My heart and souls is ECW. I will continue to fight for what I believe in, and I believe in ECW. Thanks for being you, and never letting me forget who I am.