J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Shawn Michaels
Greetings from under the 200X, black Resistol hat from the soon-to-be "Baron of Barbeque," who is thinking OU vs. mighty Mizzou Saturday night and then the much anticipated trip across the pond to broadcast Monday Night Raw from Birmingham, England.
What a weekend it was down in Von Erich Country in Big D where the Oklahoma Sooners polished off the Texas Longhorns in a heck of a college football game called the Red River Shootout. Some of my Texas-bred WWE brethren had the boo-boo face on Sunday when I saw them in Chicago at No Mercy, but I am not one to rub salt in open wounds because what goes around always comes around.
My hat is off to the athletes who participated in No Mercy as the overall effort inside the ring was a stem-winder. (That's a good analogy, meaning much of the action we all enjoyed was really good stuff.) It all starts with effort in our lives, no matter what our vocations may be, and the effort was as certain as the gleam in Jerry "The King" Lawler's eyes when Candice Michelle disrobed just prior to her bout with the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix.
Nonetheless, this week's Raw Superstar of the Week is not only a sure-fire future WWE Hall of Famer, but he is also a regular customer at J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant, especially J.R.'s JalapeÃƒÂ±o Honey Mustard and Beef Jerky, the returning Showstopper Shawn Michaels! HBK will be delighted to know that his wish after Raw will be granted, as he will receive some good eats courtesy of www.jrsbarbq.com. Getting HBK back on Raw is like getting a huge adrenaline shot for the entire roster, and it is obvious that Shawn has a tab to settle with Master Randy Orton, the new WWE Champion. I fully expect to see HBK in the UK this Monday night and see him continue his pursuit of the man who put him out of action for an extended length of time and jeopardized his illustrious career.
Beth Phoenix is the most dominate female athlete to compete in the WWE in recent memory for my money. The Glamazon says she is the perfect combination of beauty and power, and I will not be the good old boy to argue with her. I do think she and "The King" would make a cute couple, but the WWE Hall of Famer would most likely be doing the cooking if the two were to ever hook up.
Man, when Raw General Manager and Sir Elton John devotee William Regal and his assistant, Jonathan "Don't call me Carlton" Coachman get around the Chairman, it is sycophant city, isn't it? Both men should be so proud that they are both entrusted with leprechaun-sitting Hornswoggle McMahon, who one would think would have some new clothes and a bath by now (but then again, perhaps not). Mr. McMahon has assembled quite the staff of administrators, much akin to the White House and President Bush's appointees. However, if the New York Yankees' Joe Torre becomes available, Raw could have another GM with actual managerial experience.
Former Intercontinental Champion Val Venis' bad wheel did not do him any favors against Snitsky, the former Missouri Tiger offensive tackle who was kicked off the team not once, but twice. Between the acne and the brown teeth, Snitsky has a "distinctive" look and an ex-mother-in-law's "pleasant" disposition.
Santino Marella is like a boil on the tailbone of life -- it won't go away, and it is a pain in the arse. Marella is cruising for a bruising if he keeps mouthing off about ""Stone Cold" Steve Austin, whose The Condemned DVD is still selling like photos of an inebriated Britney Spears.
It was nice to see that John Cena was as positive as he was Monday night when "The King" and I talked to him. The former WWE Champion will spend ample time on the shelf, but will no doubt rehab like a Trojan (the warrior not the condom), and will come back to WWE better than ever. Unfortunately, thanks to Orton and to a lesser degree, Mr. Kennedy, that sabbatical could last until mid 2008. Some isolated fans cheering the announcement of Cena's injury last week was curious to me … to be kind. Pet Coon Goofy would be another way to describe it.
If there is a tougher man physically and mentally in the WWE than Triple H please introduce him to me. Wrestling in THREE main event bouts in ONE night on Sunday at No Mercy was the stuff of legend, especially his effort and performance in the Last Man Standing Match. Whether you are on The Game's bandwagon or not, no one can deny The Cerebral Assassin's courage and will to compete. Speaking of Triple H, now that HBK is back does that mean that we may see a little DX something-something in the near future? I'm in if that's the way it rolls. (See how "hip" I can be when so motivated?)
Perhaps Mr. McMahon should disown "Horney" and adopt Randy "I love myself and my mirrors" Orton, judging from the man-love the Chairman exhibited to the new champ on Monday night. If that is a sign of things to come, it will take a HUGE effort to wrestle the WWE Title away from Orton.
I know "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, and the Highlanders are no Piper. However, Rory & Robbie, the cousins from Scotland, pilfered a victory from Paul London & Brian Kendrick on Raw. Where were Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch while this was going on?
Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly again this Monday, and as Sgt. Shultz would say, "Very interesting." Will the third time be the charm for the son of the "American Dream"? It seems like Hardcore Holly would like to turn the ring into a woodshed for the younger Rhodes, who knows no quit, which I like.
Nice job of singing by Lilian Garcia Monday night. Lilian has a helluva voice, but is still suffering from the affects of knee surgery. She had to ice it down prior to performing Monday night, but the South Carolina native is a trooper.
I love the potential rivalry that seems to be building between Jeff Hardy and Mr. Kennedy. Both these two young hands have the opportunity to play major roles in the long term future of Monday Night Raw if they can stay physically and mentally healthy under the pressure and grind of being a big-time WWE Superstar on the Flagship Broadcast of the WWE Empire. If we see more Hardy vs. Kenney Monday night in B'Ham, I am down with that (another "hip" and contemporary use of a cliché.)
What a way to go off the air Monday night with the surprise return of HBK! What other surprises can we expect to see this Monday night from Birmingham, England? I have a feeling that Monday's Raw will be a Slobber-Knocker and the more smashmouth physicality, the better for this old-schooler.
Be well everyone, and count your blessings every day. Thanks for watching Monday Night Raw, and get ready to rock this Monday night in the UK!
Be sure to check out J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant at www.jrsbarbq.com.