J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - JBL
Greetings from under the custom made, black hat from the state tornadoes love, Oklahoma, as we prepare to head to our last Monday Night Raw prior to Judgment Day. Gosh, that sounds somewhat ominous doesn't it, this Monday in Detroit -- the home of WrestleMania 23. Well, at least I didn't refer to it as the "Last Supper" but it seems nowadays that WWE TV announcers never quite know for sure when they will last see catering, now do they?
This week's Raw Superstar of the Week came down to two men, JBL or (drum roll, please) Mike Adamle. Considering that Adamle was able to sit in my chair -- a seat he allegedly was hired to occupy sooner than later -- for his first match on Raw (which is still WWE's flagship broadcast for the record) and not get us cancelled was a significant accomplishment. Nonetheless, no one on Raw was more dominating or convincing than former WWE Champion JBL in his physical dissection of the son of the British Bulldog, DH (don't call me Harry but the Canadian Bulldog is OK) Smith.
So, this week's Raw Superstar of the Week is John Bradshaw Layfield, the Mamajuana Energy-drinking, boisterous former Texan-turned-New York City-living, self-made millionaire, who will fight John Cena in about a week at Judgment Day in Omaha, Neb. I have seen neither hide nor hair of Cena in a couple of weeks ever since Randy Orton used Cena's skull as a football and punted John out of Backlash with a "coffin corner-like" kick that had ample hang time.
It doesn't take a network news anchor to analyze the fact that Monday Night Raw was dominated by the presence of King William Regal who demonstrated his omniscient power on numerous occasions. About the only thing that our beloved General Manager/King doesn't have under control is his lovely head of hair.
The Mickie James/Glamazon rivalry is right up there with the conflict that apparently exists between Barbara Walters and Star Jones. For the record, I need no visual of Ms. Walters having sex with anyone at this stage of her game as she apparently discusses such in her new book … but I digress. The lumberjacks almost figured out they were supposed to "surround" the ring and it turned out to be an experiment that I would equate to the recent Miley Ray Cyrus photo shoot, as it missed by "that much."
As far as this fan is concerned, I would enjoy simply watching a one-on-one match between the current Women's Champion and the large, muscular lady that was defeated for the title. Also, for you Oliver Stone conspiracy theorists out there, I have not forgotten Chyna competing in WWE, even though my short-term memory might not be what it used to be, but I have not forgotten everything that I have seen in the past. I just happen to think that The Glamazon is a better pure athlete than Chyna, in all due respect. No one said you had to agree.
Also, I still think women wrestling men is pet coon goofy.
The brother/sister combination of Paul and Katie Lea Burchill was impressive Monday night, but they were in the ring with an unproven young lad that I suspect was hand-picked by King Regal for the Chelsea, England pair to dismantle. This was a "have mercy" moment with Adamle handling the play-by-play and the King looking as if he was undergoing a root canal without the aid of pain medication. My sincere thanks for King Regal providing me with a break, and I only wish I would have brought along a nice sandwich from J.R.'s Family BBQ Restaurant so I could have made a cheap, gratuitous plug on the show. Ah well, perhaps next time. At least I wasn't caught on camera doing any thing silly like scratching, etc.
And remember, kids, when all else fails just keep in mind, "the Cutler did it."
Just one man's opinion, but I think that HBK and Chris Jericho, who are seemingly getting along about as well as Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, were lucky to beat John Morrison & "The Michael" Miz on Monday night. I wish Miz & Morrison were full time on Raw, even though they provide good reasons to watch ECW on Sci Fi on Tuesday nights. For the record, I think HBK is legit- injured and any idiot who hasn't been aware of Shawn's knee issues in the past must also believe that New England Patriots football coach Billy Belichick isn't a cheater and now, apparently, a liar.
Seriously, Michaels vs. Jericho should be one hell of a match at Judgment Day because few men know HBK as well as Jericho, who grew up idolizing Shawn.
The disappointing way that the Randy Orton vs. CM Punk match ended did not leave a great taste in my mouth … unlike J.R.'s Original BBQ Sauce available now at www.jrsbarbq.com or right at WWE Shop -- now, that's a cheap plug, folks. This turning out the lights business is getting frustrating and I never thought I would have to start bringing a flashlight to work.
Carlito's Cabana reminded me of an intersection where all the lights were flashing green. A car wreck waiting to happen that starred a cast of thousands … OK, so I embellish a little. Nonetheless, it was a treat to see our old friend and fellow WWE Hall of Famer "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who looked healthier than I have seen him in years. The No. 1 contending tag team of vowels, Carlit-O and Santin-O, will surely get a tag title bout against Rhodes & Holly sooner than later.
Yo … Yo … Yo. (Beats the hell out of me, friends and neighbors.)
So, the main event was a 14-on-2 Tag Team Match, huh? This was all thanks to WWE Champion Triple H and the controversial Kennedy figuratively using the magnanimous and HRH William Regal's leg as a fire hydrant earlier in the night. For the record, if I never see another Handicap Match, it will be too soon, but I don't have a peaceful, easy feeling for The Game and Kennedy because they may have started a conflict they simply cannot win.
The only thing I hope is that King Regal doesn't appoint himself or is designated as the referee for the Triple H vs. Orton Steel Cage Match at Judgment Day. That would be disastrous unless you have Orton and the points in the office pool.
Be well, everyone, and join us Monday night for Raw from Detroit, which has been the scene of some of the most significant Raws ever in WWE and the city that will always be special to yours truly -- as that was where I was honored to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame last year at WM23.
Boomer Sooner and eat more BBQ!!