J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Shawn Michaels & John Cena

J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Shawn Michaels & John Cena

Greetings from under the black, 200X Resistol hat from the “frozen tundra” of icy Oklahoma while getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday and traveling up to Sioux City, Iowa for Monday Night Raw.

I plan on staying in Omaha, Nebr., for this week’s trip due to flight schedules as it’s somewhat challenging to get from OKC to Sioux City. That means I may be watching the Super Bowl with some Cornhusker fans which should be fun.

What a great weekend for WWE in Texas this past Sunday-Tuesday. Three major markets all sold out with loud, enthusiastic fans is a tough act to follow. The 20th Annual Royal Rumble delivered the goods and the main event on Monday Night Raw featuring HBK and Cena winning the World Tag Titles from Rated-RKO was a red hot match. 

With that said, the unlikely duo of Shawn Michaels and John Cena share the Raw Superstar of the Week award as determined in part by this week’s celebrity panel consisting of: Nancy Grace, Jane Velez-Mitchell, Tony Blair’s mum-in-law, and Paris Hilton’s OBGYN.

We’ll have more on the combustible duo of John Cena and Shawn Michaels after these life changing thoughts on Monday’s Raw from Dallas, Texas.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team, their self proclaimed moniker not mine, scored an “upset” over the previously undefeated Cryme Tyme by out-cheating JTG and Shad. This may get the Worlds Greatest Tag Team on a roll which could end with a tag title run… or Haas and Benjamin may become the Buffalo Bills of WWE and will be unable to win the ultimate game. That’s what you call a Super Bowl metaphor. Yes, we have metaphors in Oklahoma.

Why did I think of Monica Lewinsky while Melina was talking to Mr. McMahon Monday night? Could have been that deluxe, Grande Mexican Platter I enjoyed in San Antonio Saturday night that seemed to travel with me for the three day Texas run.

Maria was out-womaned against the more experienced grappler Melina Monday Night. Maria gave us a great effort, and don’t we guys just love that in a lady. She was challenged however, much as yours truly is with the English language and my profane verbiage that seems to haunt me from time to time.  Sorry Mom if you are watching down from above. It looks like Melina and Mickie James are on a Midol-fueled, collision course.

Val Venis emerged from the Witness Protection Program with Henry Hill to get the honor of wrestling the near 400-pound Umaga who seemed to be nastier than running in to one’s ex-mother-in-law in the adult Depends section of your local grocery. Umaga is a beast to say the least. Did what I just say make me a “Redneck Rapper”?

After ruining a perfectly good cowboy hat, the Jerry Jones/George Steinbrenner of WWE, our beloved Mr. McMahon, took a shot at yours truly regarding any one over the age of 5 who wears a hat looks stupid. Hey, I don’t need no stinking hat to make me look stupid pal. Nonetheless, Mr. McMahon’s Fan Appreciation Night ended prematurely (insert joke here) when the Boss was out-Trumped by The Donald and the Donald’s cash that fell from the ceiling of the American Airlines Center. We have not heard the last of the Billionaire Battle of Enormous Egos, but you probably already knew that. 

Super Crazy seemed to be the spark plug in the tag match between Super Crazy and Carlito vs. Chris “The Valedictorian” Masters and Kenny “Don’t you dare call me Lenny” Dykstra. I enjoy watching Super…..Crazy wrestle while humming “The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine” in my head. The insane luchador is quite the piece of work, amigo. 

The Great Khali in addition to being a rather large man is also ruggedly handsome according to the Bombay Daily News page 14 gossip column. Khali has only lost to the Undertaker which, seriously, is one helluva accomplishment.

Jeff Hardy, the reigning Intercontinental Champion, seems to be getting more and more popular each week and has re-energized the Intercontinental Title. I am really glad Jeff is back with WWE, and especially happy that he is back on Raw which popped another huge TV rating Monday night. Can you say “Flagship Broadcast” kids?

Newcomer Max Bretos interviewed Vladimir Koslov Monday night in case you are keeping score at home. Welcome aboard Max, but don’t get any grandiose ideas young man about sitting in ‘Ol J.R.’s chair just yet.  This old dog still likes to hunt.

Did you catch how Ric Flair just may have been playing mind games with John Cena Monday night? Maybe planting the seed that HBK “might” Super Kick the WWE Champion into the next day? Flair is tight with HBK and with Triple H so take that for what it is worth.

The seven deadly sins seem to be creeping into the partnership of Rated-RKO -- or are Edge and Orton simply zooming us? Time will tell soon enough and perhaps as early as this Monday night in Sioux City, Iowa at the Tyson Event Center, which is named after the famous chicken-producing family who helped Billy Clinton get elected President of these here United States. The State of Iowa also may produce the best amateur wrestlers in the U.S.A.

HBK has made it crystal clear that he wants to headline WrestleMania in a Championship match. Let me say this. IF HBK does get his wish, don’t bet against The Showstopper from stealing the biggest event of the year. You heard it here first. The interesting aspect of this situation is that HBK and Cena are now the tag team champions of the world which one could consider a conflict of interest somewhere down the road. However, our politicians do it every day, have conflicts of interest that is, so perhaps that behavior is publicly acceptable nowadays. 

Interesting times indeed lie ahead on Raw. I’m as happy as if I had a plate full of baby backs with some of J.R. Chipotle BBQ Sauce knowing that I will be sitting at ringside surrounded by loud and rowdy Raw fans and the world’s most mature teen, my pal The King. It’s not bad work for this Okie. I’m loving every moment of it! Life is good.

I love the Bears with all the Oklahoma players on the squad but my guts tell me Indy -7 and the under is the way to go this Sunday in Miami. But please, no wagering.

BOOMER SOONER!

J.R.

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