The Uncoolest Cut

The Uncoolest Cut

Even on his own talk show segment, Carlito's Cabana, Carlito has suffered unspeakable humiliations over the years at the hands of various guests, Superstars and even a Diva or two. But the Caribbean Bad Apple's shame appeared to plumb new depths last Monday night on Raw when he suffered a loss to, of all people, Hornswoggle.

Having held the United States Championship and the Intercontinental Championship, Carlito is not without in-ring accomplishments, which makes his failure to vanquish the leprechaun all the more vexing. Yes, Hornswoggle is crafty, but he is the smallest Superstar in WWE.

"I'm sure Hornswoggle used his influences and bought everybody in the match, so it would go his way," a visibly irate Carlito told

Perhaps in denial, Carlito claims that his loss to Hornswoggle in their No Disqualification Match was a sham due to the presence of the little guy's fellow Irishman and old associate Finlay.

"I didn't lose, because there was interference by Finlay," Carlito tried to make clear. "Finlay could never beat me, and, as a matter of fact, neither could Hornswoggle."

And yet he did. In an ever more desperate attempt to explain away the loss, Carlito almost seemed determined to block it from his memory entirely.

"To me, this never even happened; it's a joke," he snapped. "Nobody believes I lost."

Unfortunately for Carlito, seeing is believing. Despite his denials, there's a knowing disappointment behind the Caribbean Superstar's expressive eyes. It's as if his boastful chatter only serves to mask the resignation he feels at being one of Hornswoggle's conquests. He also appears resolved, however, never to allow himself to be caught off-guard again.

"They tried to embarrass Carlito," said the Caribbean Bad Apple. "But everybody knows that what happened was impossible -- and can never happen again."

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