Well, if Chris Jericho’s fate at the Royal Rumble is to become a sexy piñata, at least he’ll have some star-spangled goodies to his name: The Ayatollah of Rock ‘n’ Rolla captured his very first United States Championship at the end of a Handicap Match between himself, Kevin Owens and Roman Reigns, who was too battered by his earlier, 3-on-1 beating to contend with Jeri-KO in a make-or-break defense of his title.

To be fair, Reigns seemed to realized his disadvantage and he attempted to lock Chris Jericho in the shark cage atop the ramp before the match started. That plan backfired when Jeri-KO drove him shoulder first into both the cage and the steel steps, and by the time the bell finally did ring, Jeri-KO’s teamwork was too much for him to overcome. Even a trifects of Superman Punches to the best friends and a Spear to Jericho only delayed the inevitable. After Owens held Reigns in position for a Codebreaker and blasted the champion with the apron powerbomb, it was pretty much over. And once KO fed Reigns to a waiting Jericho for one last Codebreaker and, ultimately, the pinfall, it was official. Drink it in, maaaaannnnnnn.

New United States Champion Chris Jericho stands triumphant alongside his best friend, WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens, after they defeated Roman Reigns in Raw's 2-on-1 Handicap Match main event.