Five ways that AJ Lee can make Daniel Bryan suffer

In the wake of their tumultuous on-again/off-again relationship that turned WWE upside down for months on end, it’s difficult to believe that the eccentric Diva will not torment her former flame any chance she gets.

Always eager to help, offers Raw’s beautiful boss five suggestions of how she could make Daniel Bryan suffer in the coming weeks.  

Daniel Bryan confronts new Raw General Manager AJ Lee: Raw, July 30, 2012

Raw General Manager AJ Lee puts Daniel Bryan in a match against Sheamus.

Hey Daniel, did somebody call your mamma?!

When the WWE Universe thinks non-stop, drag out dancing in the ring, surely the first name that comes to mind is … Daniel Bryan? Well, regardless of whether the submission specialist has the moves like Jagger, AJ Lee may insist that he strut his stuff for the good of funk-a-delics everywhere by becoming the third Funkadactyl.

After all, the new GM does have a responsibly to make her show as spectacular as it can be. And what better way to bring the house down than to mix Brodus Clay and the sultry excitement that only Cameron and Naomi can provide with the snappy “Yes!” chant boogie of the former World Heavyweight Champion. Of course, a small wardrobe change might be in order first. But, with the help of some flashy tight pants, a bit of sequins and a touch of makeup, we are confident Bryan could prove the best in the world in a whole new medium.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan - Street Fight: Raw, July 30, 2012

Sheamus and Daniel Bryan go one-on-one in a Street Fight.

Maybe it’s time AJ and Bryan bury the hatchet and start fresh with a clean “shave”

It stands to reason that kissing someone with a beard as bushy as Bryan’s would be like attempting to navigate the thick Brazilian rainforest without the benefit of GPS tracking.

So perhaps, now that AJ is free and clear of the submission specialist — and indeed a Monday night powerhouse — she may feel it’s time for his beard to be free and clear of the WWE Universe as well. Still, she better be careful not to order that he shave it inside the arena. You never know what could be hiding under there after all this time.  

Is it time for Bryan to make one last stand?

If she hopes to be successful as GM in the long-term, AJ Lee will have to constantly challenge her Superstars. In the case of Daniel Bryan, an international competitor who has already competed in a barrage of awe-inspiring contests, this could be a difficult task. But, it’s probably a safe bet that even WWE’s “Yes!” man has never taken on an opponent with the unique style of Hornswoggle. If he has, he certainly hasn’t done so in a Last Man Standing Match, with one arm and one leg tied behind his back.

If AJ were to bring such an outrageous marquee match to the WWE Universe, it would not only diversify Bryan’s skills by teaching him the valuable art of humility, but also would provide yet another hilarious Raw moment at the same time. Moral of the story, watch out for a women scorned, Mr. Bryan. You could end up with your emotions, as well as various appendages, all tied up in knots!

Daniel Bryan officially loses his mind: Raw, July 30, 2012

When Daniel Bryan refuses to leave the ring and kicks Li'l Jimmy, Raw General Manager AJ Lee sends out men in white coats to take him away for a psychiatric evaluation.

From “Yes!” man to bag man? Here comes the pain

Sometimes love can hurt. But, when it’s your ex-fiancée calling the shots, that heartache can be downright excruciating, as she is capable of giving the gift of pain that that keeps on giving.

Case in point, with her new-found influence, the honorable Miss Lee could relegate her former flame to holding Brock Lesnar’s punching bag as he trains to face The King of Kings Triple H in their upcoming showdown at SummerSlam. By the time one session is over with the ultra-intense battler, the pure seismic rattling that Bryan would have endured, as a result of AJ’s degree, would just give new meaning to the ’80s pop hit “I Just Can’t Shake Your Love.”  

Daniel Bryan undergoes a psychiatric evaluation: Raw, July 30, 2012

Daniel Bryan goes through a series of medical examinations by a doctor.

The newest vegan dish … haggis?

When they were dating, AJ seemed to be very considerate of Bryan’s vegan lifestyle. However, as Raw GM, she must know that accommodating the dietary restrictions of every individual Superstar will take quite a bit out of Raw’s budget — not to mention that it’s a bit boring. So why not spice things up, while, at the same time, having a bit of fun at your old beau’s expense?

Rather than the hummus and pita chips, who wouldn’t love a good old box of animal crackers — even if those delicious little guys run the risk of being off-putting to a man who doesn’t eat animal products. And, even without the tofu, the Raw GM still could make sure Bryan ready for that important match, with the help of Drew McIntyre’s favorite dish, haggis! After all, if Bryan hopes to be a titleholder again one day, he’s gotta have heart … even if it comes stuffed into a sheep’s stomach with liver and lungs.

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