Mae Young & The Restless
Before Mark Henry evolved into the dark and bitter force he is today, he was actually a semi-sweet guy who went by the handle "Sexual Chocolate." And it was 77-year-old Mae "Anything But" Young who provided his fondest morsels of amore in this, WWE.com's No. 6 Whoa-mance.
Even the most die-hard WWE fan thought this whole "December-Mae" romance inconceivable: Henry, a former Olympic powerlifter, fancied himself the "perfect lover" and compared his sexual prowess to milk. ("I do all the ladies' bodies' good.") That is, until one Raw evening in December 1999, when he bedded an insatiable septuagenarian whose dairy products had supposedly long since dried. For whatever reason—a history of bad relationships, a predilection for much, much older women, witchcraft—the 400-pound Sexual Chocolate simply melted in the palm of a wrestling great nearly 50 years his senior.
As the millennium turned, so did the stomachs of WWE Superstars and fans alike, yet Sexual Chocolate and Mae continued sampling their tasty love affair—through romantic poetry and gifts, rather-disturbing public acts of affection, and of course, helping each other chalk up victories in the squared circle. It even aroused the geriatric grappler to pick up a controversial Swimsuit Contest victory at the 2000 Royal Rumble, during which she made a valid argument for censorship by flashing her puppies to the crowd! Sexual Chocolate would rush into the ring to wrap Mae up, but it wasn't fast enough to prevent a sudden worldwide surge in corneal implants.
The real eye-popper, however, came on SmackDown less than a week after the Rumble, when the jubilant odd couple announced to the world that Mae was pregnant! Ecstatic that their love had conquered the greys of anatomy, the big daddy-to-be showered his little (old) lady with presents to ease her way into grand motherhood—flowers, hemorrhoid cream, lotion for stretch marks, even a breast pump for the puppies. Mae, meanwhile, kept her Sexual Chocolate satisfied with their sneak-aways to hotel rooms, plus edible undies that gave him a zest for "Tutti Fruitti." If the whole thing wasn't so disgusting, it might actually have been kind of sweet.
Sadly, the pungent tanginess of such love would ultimately spoil. Savage attacks from enemies would not only leave a ripened daredevil like Young stretcher-bound on several occasions, but induce extremely premature labor on Raw Feb. 28. From backstage, Henry felt helpless as he could only watch Mae smoke a celebratory cigar (she wouldn't calm down, otherwise) and suffer through a gut-wrenching delivery. Finally, an EMT, though initially reluctant to tend to the flatulent Mae, persevered through the stench long enough to successfully deliver…a human hand. Yes, you read this right. A hand. And Sexual Chocolate's reaction toward this Caucasian, mucus-covered appendage? Well, he just questioned whether or not he was truly the father.
The hand was later revealed to be a replica, possibly one of Mae's leftover sex toys long since forgotten. But the hand did more than symbolically wave bye-bye to her and Mark's really strange relationship. To this day, it is the byproduct of a passion that can no longer be recaptured, and a crazy-ass romance that WWE fans can forever (mis)carry in their hearts.