After four weeks, lots of words and a boatload of suspense, my All-Time WrestleMania is in the homestretch. Last week was the Toronto portion of the show, which saw Ultimate Warrior retire Randy Savage, an NFL linebacker pulling off one of the biggest upsets in WrestleMania history, and Chris Benoit become the World Heavyweight Champion in one of the greatest moments in WrestleMania history.
I have to say, I've been pleasantly surprised that I've gotten some positive feedback from you fans about this venture. One guy even told me that he was surprised at some of my first 14 choices, and has spent the last few days trying to guess what might be left for the final segment of the show. Well, guess no more my friend, because it's time to bring this baby home.
ALL-TIME WRESTLEMANIA, SEGMENT THREE
Live from Madison Square Garden in New York City
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler with Mean Gene Okerlund, Todd Grisham and HOWARD FINKEL!
It's a shame that my Fink impression doesn't translate into print, because I'd do it for every match. At least he takes my ribbing in stride…mostly because he knows that his announcement of Ricky Steamboat winning the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania III STILL gives me goosebumps to this day. Anyway, on with the show.
Opening Match: Ted DiBiase vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts from WrestleMania VI
-WrestleMania VI was about two men, Hulk Hogan & Ultimate Warrior. Because of that, a lot of good matches got overshadowed. This is one of them. DiBiase and Roberts were at odds because Jake stole the Million Dollar Belt, so it was on the line in this match. While I don't think Ted was ever very popular with the fans (and for good reason, I suppose), any wrestling fan in the 1980s has to admit that he was damn good inside the ring. This match was pretty good as a result, with DiBiase winning by countout after Virgil pulled Roberts out of the ring to block a DDT. The reason it makes my All-Time WrestleMania, though, is the extracurricular activity. Jake beats up Virgil, DDTs DiBiase then hands out DiBiase's money to the fans. Ted's response? He hangs out at ringside, and as Big Boss Man comes out for the next match, DiBiase absolutely cleans his clock. Didn't help Akeem any in the next match, unfortunately. As far as I remember, the crowd in Toronto also started DOING THE WAVE during this match. That's just awesome.
Match No. 2: Marc Mero & Sable vs. Goldust & Luna from WrestleMania XIV
-The back story to this match might be one of the wackiest stories you'll ever hear. This was during Goldust's "Artist" phase, which included him getting thrown into Crapper 3:16 by Stone Cold and reading Green Eggs and Ham dressed up like Marilyn Manson impersonating a Christmas tree. Ah, I love Goldust. This match spawned the phenomenon that was Sable, as I believe this was her first actual match. The fans hated Mero at this point, but I thought Marvelous Marc was the proverbial you-know-what, and he had a pretty sweet theme song. The match goes on and Sable pins Luna after a TKO. That's about all I remember, but hey, the match has a hot chick in it.
Match No. 3: Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania 2000
-And finally, after two weeks of wonder, the man who wrestles twice is revealed, as Ron Simmons is a participant in this match. I told you the guy was tough enough to wrestle twice, and I sure as hell wouldn't doubt Big Ron. If you've never seen this match, it's well worth it. Tazz chokes out everyone in sight, Pete Gas bleeds like an extra from a bad horror film, and the APA destroy Viscera…only to give Funaki the pin on him. INDEED! Plus, any match where you can watch JBL beat somebody with a box fan is an instant classic, and it might be the only match in recorded history where someone gets a pinfall from a gut wrench suplex. Add in Tim White as a ref, and it's just a big 15-minute ball of awesome that ends with Hardcore Holly walking out with the gold. Back in the day, when they added the Time Limit Hardcore Battle Royal as an option in WWE video games, that's all we used to play, and I'm proud to say it was nearly impossible to beat me when I used Tazz.
Match No. 4: The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin from WrestleMania XIX
-This one is significant for a few reasons. First of all, it's the third WrestleMania meeting between Rock and Austin, but the first where the WWE Championship wasn't up for grabs. Second, it's Rock's only WrestleMania victory over Austin. And finally, as it stands, this was Stone Cold's final WrestleMania match. Both of the previous Rock vs. Austin WrestleMania battles were awesome, and this one lived up to the billing as well. In the end, Rock nails Austin with two Rock Bottoms, but Austin keeps kicking out. Finally, Rock hits number three and this time, Austin finally can't kick out. The look on his face as Rock is announced the winner is priceless. You can check this one out on 24/7 Online, and I'd suggest you do so. THIS IS HISTORY, PEOPLE.
Match No. 5: The Dudleys vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian in TLC 2 for the World Tag Team Championship from WrestleMania X-Seven
-By now, you HAD to see this one coming. Louie Dee fact: this is one of my favorite matches of all time, because it's a train wreck of awesome. After a year of these three teams going at it tooth and nail, this is the first time their "partners" (Spike Dudley, Lita and Rhyno) really get involved. Honestly, I can't even try to describe this match, but there are some ridiculous moments, like Edge spearing Jeff Hardy from a ladder while Hardy hangs from the apparatus holding the gold. Then there's Matt Hardy and Bubba Dudley starting on a ladder in the center of the ring and ending up crashing through a stack of tables in the entranceway. And of course, E&C winning the gold at the end is probably my favorite moment, because I'm a huge Edge fan. It's amazing that none of these guys got seriously injured considering some of the crazy stuff they did back then. DEFINITE recommendation to check this one out.
Match No. 6: Undertaker vs. Diesel from WrestleMania XII
-Yes fans, the Undertaker gets the second to last match on the show. He's 13-0 at WrestleMania; are you going to argue that he doesn't deserve it? This was near the end of Kevin Nash's first WWE stint, and was a huge match back in 1996. In the end, Diesel gives the Deadman two Jackknife Powerbombs, but Undertaker just sits up, and you can see Diesel's disbelief. The Deadman then kicks Diesel's ass in short order and hits the Tombstone to win. This was victory number five in the streak, which is still going strong today. You know, elsewhere on WWE.com there's a whole subsection devoted to Undertaker's WrestleMania Legacy. Go check it out, because the guy who put it together did a fantastic job.
The MAIN EVENT: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant for the WWE Championship from WrestleMania III
-This is it folks. The irresistible force meets the immovable object. The Giant vs. the giant killer. Call it whatever you want, but in 1987, this was the biggest match in wrestling history, period. As a matter of fact, it still might be the biggest match in history. Andre the Giant, undefeated but never WWE Champion, turns on best friend Hogan and takes Bobby Heenan as his manager. Andre challenged Hogan to a match on Piper's Pit, ripping Hogan's shirt and crucifix off. Hogan finally accepts, and it's on. You literally could cut the tension with a knife, and the crowd goes bananas when Hogan comes out. Hell, I still go bananas when Hogan comes out. Hogan tries to slam Andre about two minutes in, and Andre falls back on him for the closest near fall you'll ever see. Hulk hurts his back, and Andre spends the rest of the match destroying Hogan until he makes the super comeback and "Hulks Up," as Gorilla would say. Body slam, legdrop, and goodbye undefeated streak. Heenan is beside himself, Andre is in disbelief, and the fans go absolutely WILD. And of course, Hulk gives the fans what they want, posing after the match. He also remembers to thank the man upstairs…and if I use any more quotes from Gorilla Monsoon in this recap, I'm going to turn into a gorilla. The ultimate main event for the ultimate show, and everyone goes home happy.
WHEW. Finally, the show has come to a close. You can all now feel free to compile your own lists, and you can even send them to me if you want; I might read some of them. There are so many great WrestleMania matches that didn't make the cut; it's hard to imagine any two lists being the same. At least on my end, this will be much easier next year; copy and paste is my friend, and I get to choose between the Pillow Fight and Booker T & Sharmell vs. Boogeyman as my WrestleMania 22 addition. You know what, come to think of it, I can already guarantee you which one it will be; when you have to choose either Boogeyman and two gorgeous Playboy cover girls, there's really no choice at all. Sorry, Booker.
And that, my friends, is Big Time. Enjoy WrestleMania 22, everybody.
RELATED CONTENT:
WATCH The Rock vs. Stone Cold on WWE 24/7 Online
WATCH The TLC Match on WWE 24/7 Online
WATCH Undertaker vs. Diesel on WWE 24/7 Online
WrestleMania matches on WWE 24/7 Online
