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Internet Confessions of a True Diva, No. 7
You know, a Diva such as myself … people kind of think my life is perfect and everything I do or say is perfect. It's sort of like that one movie with Lindsay Lohan Just My Luck (yes ... I watched it), where she is the luckiest BEEOTCH on earth, and everything goes perfect for her. Oh, YES … that is pretty much my life.
Just playin'! OK, I do have a good life and I can't complain. … But I KNOW people are wondering about my entrance glitch at Survivor Series. I'm a Diva through and through, in ways ONLY I can be. As graceful, sexy and elegant as I am … little do you know I can be just as klutzy. I'm surprised that hasn't happened more often. It's happened one other time. I can't recall when and where, but it happened!
You have to admit the art of making an entrance is kind of my thing. (Kind of like the splits, even though every other Diva will TRY to do it, they can't quite do it like I can.) I revolutionized the way people get into the ring. After I came to WWE, people started jazzing up their entrances … but they will never be as exciting, as interesting and as sexy as my own. But the fact that they try is flattering.
Now, as stunning as I am … I have my moments. I forget things … like shutting off the lights in my car so when I come back from a trip my car is dead. Also, things like to jump out at me and my car. For my car, it's curbs. For me, it's furniture and workout equipment. They jump out of nowhere and run into me!
Sometimes my accidents happen to other people. One time (or a few times), I was play wrestling with Morrison, laughing and having fun (he he), when my knee accidentally slipped and I kneed him in the groin … that was totally an accident!!!! I swear!
Another example of one of these moments that can only happen to me is the time I was attacked by Hornswoggle in the shower (grrrrr). The camera didn't catch it! I was in the shower soaking wet, the perv was stalking me, and I ran as fast as I could to get away and … well, it's not a good idea to run on a smooth surface that's wet. I slipped and fell face first! I think my feet were still in the air when my face hit. That sucked so bad! AND … I was the only one laughing. I can't help it, but I got right up and ran! HEY! At least I looked hot when I ate it!!
Now back to my entrance, let me recap the moment -- because I'm telling you right now I watched it and rewound it over and over again and cracked up each time. So, I'm going to tell you exactly what flew through my mind.
Looking as hot as only I can, I was feeling sassy! Can you blame me?!! I looked so freakin' sexy! Yes … I felt it a little more than usual because all the Divas in this company were here in one spot and by far, I'm totally the hottest one out of all of them. True, that's nothing I didn't already know, but actually seeing it amped me up for the night.
Now, I got a bit "antzy in my pantzy" because I was really excited about my splits. I felt that leg slip and thought, "NOOOO!" And, like the hot sex kitten that I am, I landed on one leg. Oh yes … I'm that good and YES! I'm still the hottest girl here!
I couldn't stop laughing! I landed on my leg and I thought, "Of course this would happen to me!" I couldn't help it. I thought it was freakin' hilarious! Whatcha gonna do?! I got up and tried to finish and laughed my a** off! Now I felt bad that the city of Miami didn't get to experience the greatness of my entrance so I went back and did it again thinking that with my luck, it's going to happen again. I actually hit it and I laughed again cuz I was surprised I did!
Yes, that night I lost to Mickie. I was SO thrown off! All of a sudden I was on the receiving end of a pretty good kiss then BAM!! Kick to the face!!! Now that was just wrong! Yeah … I'm still confused right now!!! Anywho … a match is a match and I know I will get it next time. … And right now I'm saying the same thing about my entrance -- I'll get it next time!
Even though I didn't land it that time … doesn't mean I'm going to stop. I'm still gonna do my thing. That one moment won't stop me … even if it happens again. You will see me look up and think, "Please don't let me eat it!" But like everything I do, I am going to do it full out, not half a**ed. So, now I can say people have more of a reason to watch my entrance -- because you will never know if it's a hit or miss. =P
That's all I have to say for today. Who knows what you will hear out of my mouth next time? I may be angry, I may be sad or I may be happy … yet I always look so good! Seriously, what you get is Melina. Whether you love me or hate me, you can't help but watch me.
The Queen of Entrances,