What’s holding Heath Slater back?
Heath Slater just can’t seem to catch a break – or at least it appears that way based on his win/loss record over the past several months. Whether mixing it up with behemoths like The Great Khali or similarly sized opposition like Money in the Bank winner Daniel Bryan, The One-Man Southern Rock Band doesn’t have many victory songs on his setlist. But why is that?
Making an immediate impact in WWE as a founding member of The Nexus, Slater became WWE Tag Team Champion alongside fellow up-and-comer Justin Gabriel very early in his career. After impressively accruing three championships with the South African sensation, Slater parted ways with Gabriel, claiming that his longtime cohort was preventing him from succeeding as a solo ring warrior. However, while the high-flyer continues to dazzle the WWE Universe each and every week with his awe-inspiring 450° Splash, Slater spends far too much of his time staring up at the arena lights and wincing in pain when his matches are over. He’s also belittled by fellow Superstars – most notably his former leader Wade Barrett, who is known to refer to Slater as a “red-headed imbecile.” (WWE.COM EXCLUSIVE VIDEO)
Since this cocky young competitor undoubtedly has the in-ring ability to stand toe-to-toe with WWE’s most elite Superstars, WWE.com offers The One-Man Southern Rock Band the following pointers to help him become a champion once again.
1) There’s power in numbers
Slater has more than proven himself as a dynamic team player, whether in a faction (like The Nexus or The Corre) or as part of a tandem. Now that he’s no longer tagging with Justin Gabriel, perhaps it’s time for The One-Man Southern Rock Band to find another Superstar – or several Superstars – to watch his back.
2) Know your enemy
No, we’re not referring to Green Day’s theme for SmackDown, but perhaps Slater should heed its advice. Before taking on a goliath like The Great Khali, for example, it might be a good idea to peruse WWEGreatestMatches.com to see how other Superstars like John Cena, Triple H and Kane have handled the big man in the past.
3) Embrace your inner rock star
We’re not condoning the use of foreign objects in the ring unless the stipulation allows it, but what Southern rock band – one-man or otherwise – doesn’t have a few guitars at its disposal just in case? Hey, it worked wonders for The Honky Tonk Man!
4) Be manageable
It never hurts to have a good manager in your corner to keep you focused, and since Vickie Guerrero is into managing multiple Superstars these days, Slater would be wise to cozy up to WWE’s resident cougar. However, based on her current clients – U.S. Champion Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger – he might need to bleach his signature ginger locks to fit in.
5) Master the art of intimidation
Having faced Jimmy & Jey Uso on more than one occasion, Slater has witnessed the intimidating power of the third-generation Superstars’ Samoan war dance known as the “siva tau.” Slater shouldn’t try to copy the twins’ popular battle ritual, though a “One-Man Southern Rock Concert” before each of his matches could be just the thing to get the WWE Universe fired up and his opponents psyched out.
We don’t fancy ourselves as songsmiths, but here are some potential tunes Slater could riff on: “Grin and Barrett,” “The Corre of Me” and “For the Last Time, I’m Not the Chick from Wendy’s.” (Hey, we said we weren’t songsmiths.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Which of our pointers would benefit Heath Slater the most? More importantly, do you have any of your own tips for The One-Man Southern Rock Band? Share your thoughts with the rest of the WWE Universe on Facebook and Twitter.