Chairman's descent

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June 08, 2007

ORLANDO, Fla. — With Mr. McMahon Appreciation Day approaching very quickly this coming Monday night on a special three-hour Raw, the WWE Chairman's apparent descent into madness reached a new dark depth on Friday Night SmackDown. And unfortunately for the SmackDown Superstars, no one was safe.

The Chairman's night of nervous prostration began on his first-ever appearance on the World Heavyweight Champion's controversial talk segment, The Cutting Edge. The Rated-R Superstar appeared a little uneasy about his guest selection as Mr. McMahon began speaking in bizarre tongues of "evil" and "valleys of the shadow." Nonetheless, the patronizing, sycophantic host sided with the Chairman and stroked his billion-dollar ego. (WATCH)

"The reason I am in this ring is because of you…You still have your empire. You still have all your money. In the squared circle of life, Mr. McMahon, you…are a World Champion," Edge stated as he strew the World Heavyweight Championship onto the boss' suited lap.

The Chairman then seemed to tweak out a bit as his face grimaced and he rose to his feet.

"You're no better," Mr. McMahon muttered. "Vengeance is mine."

Much to the Rated-R Superstar's deep chagrin, the perturbed Chairman then decreed that Edge will defend his title against Batista in a Last Chance Match at Vengeance: Night of Champions. The Animal will meet the Rated-R Superstar again for the gold in Houston, regardless of the tri-branded Draft that will take place this week on Raw. By Chairman's orders, this will be his last opportunity as long as Edge is World Heavyweight Champion. Will this one last chance be the only chance Batista needs to reclaim the World Heavyweight Title?

The maniacal McMahon's rain over the SmackDown parade would continue as the Chairman dropped by the General Manager's office to congratulate Vickie Guerrero on her first major announcement as Assistant GM. While the babbling billionaire praised Vickie, the Chairman expressed that he is repulsed by Theodore Long's relationship with Kristal. An enraged Long was beside himself by Mr. McMahon's rude comments and his direct undermining of the General Manager's authority. Clearly, the Chairman's lunacy is unbiased and unrestrained; perhaps no one on the WWE roster is safe.

Perhaps the most appalling display of his increasing dementia was his encounter with Ashley in the locker room area. Moments before Matt Hardy's Handicap Match against WWE Tag Team Champion Deuce & Domino, Mr. McMahon spoke with Hardy about the former World Tag Team Champion's strenuous week (thanks to the Chairman). Mid-conversation, the coffee-sipping Chairman was accidentally crashed into by Ashley as she attempted to chase rival Diva Jillian in the halls of the Amway Center. (WATCH)

"I feel terrible," Ashley repeated as she offered to even get the mad billionaire's clothes dry cleaned.

Despite Ashley's incessant apologies, this locker room collision sent the scalded, java-stained Chairman into an inexorable frenzy. Mr. McMahon argued that she "meant to do it" and after mocking the tear-filled plea of the SmackDown Diva, he suspended her indefinitely. From valiant champions to top officials to gorgeous Divas, none are exempt from Mr. McMahon's irrational behavior. 

Following a week of carnage, how can anyone in the entire WWE or ECW locker room be feeling? What will the Chairman's progression of mental disintegration mean for the WWE Superstars this coming Monday? How much further can the sports-entertainment mogul delve into his psychological plunge? Find out by tuning in to the historic three-hour edition of Raw at an early start time of 8/7 CT only on the USA Network.

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