Texas two-stomp

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December 07, 2009

DALLAS - To say that the Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban, is a "hands-on boss" would be a bit like saying Sheamus has a wee anger management problem. The exuberant billionaire makes sure he's courtside for every one of the Mavs home games, cheering on his team from the sweat zone. All of which helps explain the Raw special guest host's decision to sit ringside during the entire Raw broadcast rather than seclude himself in some cushy back office.

Sheamus attacked WWE Champion John Cena and Mark Cuban during WWE Championship TLC Championship Showdown (PHOTOS | WATCH)
It was supposed to be a verbal joust, two men making their case and talking trash just six days before they collide at WWE TLC in a Tables Match. WWE Champion John Cena and Sheamus met in the ring with moderator, special guest host Mark Cuban. As the Dallas Mavs owner asked questions, The Celtic Warrior answered with bombast, stating why and how he will defeat The Champ. For his part, Cena demurred, finally asking his opponent whether he believes what he's saying.

The question riled Sheamus. He appeared ready to leave the ring, but instead he attacked Cuban and took a cheap shot at the WWE Champion. When Cena came to, Sheamus kicked him in the skull to put him down again. That's when The Celtic Warrior went all psycho on Cuban, slamming the host through a table!

DX vs. Chris Jericho ended in a No Contest (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Surprise, surprise. Rather than take his medicine like a man, Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho relied on his partner, Big Show, to save his bacon. After losing to Triple H last week, the self-important Superstar was forced by stipulation this week to face The Game & Shawn Michaels in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match.

Just six days before the two teams clash in a TLC Match at WWE TLC, The World's Largest Athlete interfered on his partner's behalf. He and Jericho, perhaps in a preview of pain to come, attacked DX with a ladder and chair, leaving The Game and HBK trounced in their wake.

Dennis Miller to act as special guest host of The 2009 Slammy Awards (WATCH)
Don't miss next week's three-hour Raw as comedian Dennis Miller acts as special guest host as well as Master of Ceremonies for this year's Slammy Awards. Join the king of the arcane reference as he keeps the audience's heads spinning like Anne Boleyn at a samurai convention, cha-cha.

Eve & Hornswoggle def. Jillian & Chavo Guerrero (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Chavo Guerrero appeared to be as steamed as a chicken tamale. The self-proclaimed "Mexican Warrior" teamed with Jillian to face his own pint-size plague, Hornswoggle, and his partner, Eve.

When the final bell sounded, the gorgeous Eve had pinned the tone-deaf Diva to secure the win for her team. Guerrero snapped. Initially, he trained his fury on the leprechaun until he spotted the new DX-Hornswoggle T-shirt 'Swoggle wore. He then directed his anger at Eve. Before he could act, however, Chris Masters, who happened to be visiting with guest host Mark Cuban at ringside, interceded on the beauty's behalf.

United States Champion The Miz def. Mark Henry (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Deride Mark Henry at your own risk. Last week, United States Champion The Miz took to calling the Olympic veteran The World's Blandest Man and paid for it with a loss. This week, the two met for a rematch, but this time, the so-called "Awesome One" shockingly let his actions do the talking and defeated The World's Strongest Man.

Kofi Kingston def. Randy Orton; Cuban announced Kofi vs. Orton at WWE TLC (PHOTOS | WATCH)
On the court and in the ring, the men in the black-and-white stripes are both judge and jury. Which is why, when Randy Orton faced Kofi Kingston, one of the last people he wanted to see wearing the zebra attire was Mark Cuban. Six years earlier, Orton RKO'd the Dallas Mavericks owner during Survivor Series -- and Cuban never forgot it.

During the match, Kofi pushed Orton's shoulders to canvas, but before The Viper had a chance to kick out, Cuban served up a cold dish of quick count, allowing Kofi the win. To make matters worse for Orton, Cuban then announced that The Viper must face The Dreadlock Dynamo in six days at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs.

Maryse def. Gail Kim; Maryse attacked Kelly Kelly (PHOTOS | WATCH)
While taking time off from a career, some people look deep inside their soul and resolve to be a kinder, more sympathetic human being. Maryse isn't one of those people. Ever since her ring return, the conceited Canadian has been on a malicious, single-minded quest: Recapture the Divas Championship.

This week, the blond beauty battled Gail Kim while Kelly Kelly served as special guest ring announcer. Kim's tenacity appeared to match up well against Maryse, but the match ended in the blond Diva's favor when, with the referee's back turned, she seized the opportunity to cheat and win.

Her depravity didn't end there. When Kelly Kelly announced the winner, Maryse insisted that she designate her "the next Divas Champion." When Kelly Kelly refused, Maryse attacked, prompting current Divas Champion Melina to rush to her friend's aid and jolt Maryse from the scene.

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. Evan Bourne & Primo (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Not only did Mark Cuban wield his power against Randy Orton, he also has it in for The Viper's accomplices. After Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase harangued the guest host on Orton's behalf, the boyish billionaire arranged a tag match between The Legacy and Evan Bourne & Primo.

While Bourne & Primo pushed Legacy to the limit on WWE Superstars last Thursday, Rhodes & DiBiase fielded everything thrown at them and chalked up a win for the effort. Before they could savor the victory, though, Cuban had the troublemaking twosome tossed from the arena by security. Take that, Legacy!

Cuban announced Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston tonight (PHOTOS)
Who could blame Mark Cuban if he held a grudge? After all, it was Randy Orton who administered a vicious RKO to Cuban at Survivor Series 2003. Paybacks, as they say, are … well, they're not very fun.

Despite protestations from The Viper, Cuban refused to lift the ban on him competing for another championship match as long as Cena holds the title. Not only that, the Mavs owner then insisted that Orton face his nemesis, Kofi Kingston, later that night after The Viper and Legacy attacked The Dreadlock Dynamo last week. Oh, and one more thing: To keep things clean, Cuban will act as special guest referee.

Special guest host Mark Cuban announced a TLC Showdown; WWE Champion John Cena def. Carlito (PHOTOS | WATCH)
In keeping with his involved attitude, special guest host Mark Cuban informed the packed American Airlines Center that a TLC Showdown between WWE Champion John Cena and the No. 1 contender Sheamus will take place later in the night, during which they will each have the opportunity to speak their minds. Cuban then personally welcomed WWE Champion John Cena to the ring before taking his seat alongside several Mavs players and The Bella Twins.

Cena was scheduled to face Carlito, who last week informed The Champ that he and the entire Raw roster were hoping for Sheamus to defeat him during their WWE Championship Table Match at Sunday's WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs pay-per-view.

During the bout, Sheamus approached the ring. While security swarmed around The Celtic Warrior, The Champ became distracted by the commotion. A cunning Carlito then attacked Cena from behind, but the WWE Champion managed to flip the script on the uncool customer and laid him out with an Attitude Adjustment.

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