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First intervention, then revelation
COLUMBUS, Ohio -- It was a family reunion, with a party crasher.
After the McMahon clan -- Linda, Shane and Stephanie -- pleaded with WWE Chairman Mr. McMahon to seek help for his egotistical, womanizing ways, he got support from an unlikely source -- his illegitimate son. Or so we thought.
After weeks of investigation and speculation, Mr. Kennedy interrupted the family intervention and claimed to be McMahon's bastard child. He claimed that his last name matched Mr. McMahon's middle name for a reason. He added that it was no coincidence that next week's Raw would be in Green Bay, Wis., -- Kennedy's hometown -- and that happened to be the deadline for the mystery woman who filed a paternity suit against the Chairman to reveal the child's identity. (WATCH)
The revelation stunned the McMahon family, who had come to Columbus to confront the Chairman. McMahon came to the Nationwide Arena Monday night armed with the "best defense team money could buy." He was convinced his family was just in it for "the MON-AYYY!" They spent hours in an office in the locker room plotting strategy. The Chairman even fired one of the attorneys that suggested a possible settlement offer. Obviously, Mr. McMahon was playing for keeps.
When McMahon came out to the ring -- albeit one lawyer short -- he was ready to confront his family about their alleged desire for a financial handout. Linda interrupted, and told the Chairman that she had plenty of her own money as CEO of the company, and that she could take him for every cent he has thanks to Jonathan Coachman's very public "research" into his philandering ways.
When Stephanie arrived, Mr. McMahon accused her of being "the volatile one." In an attempt to show Stephanie the better times she's had with her father, McMahon introduced a highlight video, which, to the horror of the Chairman, featured his match against Stephanie at No Mercy in 2003. A bemused Triple H appeared on the TitanTron, swearing he had nothing to do with the video switch.
But Stephanie told her dad it didn't matter what video he played. It didn't change the fact that the family believed he needed to seek help for his behavior, and should step aside as Chairman of the Board of WWE in the meantime.
Shane also echoed those sentiments, calling the Chairman an "arm-flapping, grapefruit-swaying, death-faking, egomaniacal lunatic." But he told his father that he believed he could turn things around.
"This is about the McMahon family legacy," Shane explained. "I think you can change. I think this can all work out."
McMahon made a startling admission -- he had cheated only once on his wife of 44 years. And that dalliance led to the birth of his bastard son. He claimed all of these other transgressions were fictional, designed to boost his ego.
Humbling himself before his family, McMahon promised to seek help and become more respectable.
"I will be a better father; I vow to be a better husband. I'll be a better human being," the Chairman promised. Then Mr. Kennedy arrived to make his claim for family membership.
Stephanie demanded proof of kinship. Kennedy did not offer any, but the former Money in the Bank winner appealed to the Chairman not to give up being the brash, arrogant executive he's been in the past. Kennedy said that the Chairman's behavior inspired his championship aspirations.
It was a touching moment as "MISTEERRRRRR KENNNNNEDDYYYYY … McMAHONNNNN" offered a hug to the Chairman, and the pair embraced warmly until a stranger interrupted the proceedings.
A lawyer who claimed to represent the woman who filed a paternity suit against the WWE Chairman arrived, announcing that the DNA test confirmed that a WWE Superstar is his illegitimate son. But he insisted that the tests ruled out Mr. Kennedy as that child.
As Kennedy insisted he was McMahon's son, the attorney told the Chairman he was authorized to give him a clue as to the identity of the child, which would be revealed next week on Raw.
The clue was: "Things are looking up."
As Raw went off the air, the entire McMahon clan stared at each other in bewilderment, wondering what the cryptic message meant. For the Chairman, it was one-step closer to ending the mystery of who his bastard son is. But for Mr. Kennedy, looking at a circle of scornful McMahons staring him down, it was a night he'd soon forget.