The Undertaker returns to compete on Raw with Team Hell No against The Shield in a Six-Man Tag Team Match.04/12/2018 - 16:45
Hats off to Trevor Murdoch
In most cases, walking out of a WWE live event with a piece of memorabilia is something worth bragging about to others. Take for example Bret "Hit Man" Hart's signature sunglasses, one of The Rock's elbow pads that he'd launch into the crowd before he used to drop an electrifying People's Elbow, or even a limited edition collector's chair issued at every pay-per-view. These pieces of sports-entertainment history are all perfectly legit reasons for excitement.
But this past Monday, the dark side of acquiring tokens of remembrance arose. One "lucky" fan thought he was walking out of North Carolina's Crown Coliseum with something extremely rare -- Trevor Murdoch's mesh trucker's hat. After the initial elation wore off, the hat's new owner realized that nightmares are sometimes disguised as blessings.
Tony Hayden was the night's "big winner," scoring the hat via auction held by Cryme Tyme after Shad and JTG clipped the cap during the Cade & Murdoch's match against London & Kendrick.
"Although the hat only cost two bucks, I'm rethinking whether it was a good investment or not," said Hayden. "People kept coming up to me asking me about it. I was offered 20 dollars for it and I turned it down. One kid even asked for my autograph! But during the last match of the night, my head began to itch real bad. I scratched, but I kept the hat on, figuring the itching would just go away."
For Hayden, tolerating the discomfort didn't last very long. The itching escalated, and when the show ended, Hayden found the cause for irritation.
"After the main event, the itching became unbearable," he said. "I mean I was itching like the sweatband was lined with poison ivy or something. I finally took the hat off and looked inside. The mound of dead skin and stray hairs caught in the netting were almost enough to make me throw up. I swear, there was enough dandruff to make a snowball."
The aesthetics of the hat weren't the only thing that stuck out to the North Carolina native. Upon closer examination, Hayden came to find that the inside of his "new" hat smelled like a ripe pair of old gym shoes.
"The smell was just rancid," said Hayden. "I question whether the guy has washed his hair since Christmas. That's not a joke, either; the sweatband was a brownish-yellow color. It used to be white! I also think he may have spilled tobacco spit on it, or maybe he just used the hat as a spitter. I'm not completely sure. But the white netting had brown stains riddled throughout it. I can't believe I ever put it on my head."
Asked what's next for his new accessory, Hayden said the hat -- much like his hair -- is headed straight for the wash.
"I'm not even sure I can wear it again," he admitted. "But I don't want to toss it out. It's still something to remember my trip to Raw with. I know I can't bring it into my apartment stinking like a fraternity bathroom."
Like a true optimist, Hayden claims he doesn't view the entire debacle as a negative. Despite being grossed out to near regurgitation, he still says the story itself is worth the two bucks he paid for the hat.
"If I can take one positive out of this whole situation, I can say that for at least a small portion of my life I looked and smelled like a true redneck, WWE Superstar Trevor Murdoch. But I'm glad that portion of my life is over."