Be careful what you ask for

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July 09, 2006

Last week, Mr. McMahon thought he had finally come up with the perfect plan to solve his problem with D-Generation X – he banned them from RAW at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia. The idea looked good on paper, but sure enough, DX ended up causing even more havoc outside the arena than they have been causing inside. So, after being embarrassed yet again last week, the WWE Chairman will take his chances and actually invite DX to RAW Monday night in Sioux City, Iowa.

On the surface, it may look like Mr. McMahon is just asking for trouble by inviting his worst enemies to RAW, but after seeing what they did last week when they were banned, this may be Mr. McMahon’s only option.

After Mr. McMahon’s Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman informed Triple H and Shawn Michaels that they weren’t allowed inside the Wachovia Center last week, instead of being angry, the two Superstars through a huge pre-Fourth of July bash outside. Complete with Mr. McMahon-sized (cocktail wieners) and DX-sized (foot-longs) hotdogs, DX threw a BBQ. And wherever DX goes, beautiful girls are sure to follow, and this bash was no exception. But not only did DX have fun hanging out with friends and hot girls, they had even more fun at Mr. McMahon’s expense.

DX completely took over the WWE production truck and seized control of RAW. Mr. McMahon found out about their discovery the hard way. While using the public restroom facilities, DX activated the camera in the Men’s Room, catching the Chairman in the epitome of private moments as he relieved himself and made comments regarding his Andre the Giant sized…‘frankfurter.’

Realizing his boss was again the butt of another DX prank, as the TitanTron displayed the bathroom scene to the fans in attendance and those watching at home, Jonathan Coachman burst in to warn Mr. McMahon. But the Personal Assistant’s urgency startled his boss, causing the Chairman to jump and turn towards Coachman, spritzing him with the remainder of his ‘relief.’

Afterwards, as he entered the ring to make the announcement that at Saturday Night’s Main Event DX would take on all five members of the Spirit Squad in an Elimination Match, Mr. McMahon’s voice sounded askew from his normal growl, ranging as high and child-like as Michael Jackson, to as deep as Darth Vader. A response to Mr. McMahon’s Saturday Night Main Event match announcement was made DX-style, with a doodle of a rooster on the screen adjacent to The Chairman’s head, reminding viewers of Mr. McMahon’s infatuation with cocks.

Looking ragged and defeated after another disaster of a Monday, Mr. McMahon tried to pack it in early and flee the arena. As his stretch limo pulled away, an onslaught of fireworks smoked him out of the limo The Chairman rolled out of the car, his face black with suit and ash, as The Game and HBK stood over him, sparklers in hand, informing Mr. McMahon that he should think again before banning them from an arena.

It’s hard to believe that Mr. McMahon can be more embarrassed than he was last week, but with the unpredictable DX, you just never know. Then again, when it comes to Mr. McMahon, in the end, he always gets what he wants. With two of the biggest super powers in sports-entertainment history, something has to give. Will Mr. McMahon finally exact some revenge on DX, or will the sophomoric pranksters continue to be a thorn in their boss’ side? Tune in to RAW Monday night at 9/8 CT on the USA Network.

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