Two of a kind

Page 1 of 1
January 08, 2008

Britney Spears and Mr. McMahon -- they're two peas in a crazy pod. Admit it: They're the perpetual car wreck on the side of the road you can't resist; you just have to watch. They're drawn to the headlines -- and vice versa -- like moths to a flame.

Could you imagine if these two ever got together? They'd either hate each other because they're too alike or they'd be the perfect match. WWE.com asked Dr. Elan Pfil, an Omaha-based psychiatrist, to take a look at these two volatile personalities and analyze what they have in common. Here's what he had to say:

Breakdowns

Everyone is wondering exactly what's next for Britney after she had an apparent meltdown last week that led to her hospitalization and losing custody of her children. As she has shown for most of the past year, 'mini-meltdowns' seem to be the norm for the troubled pop princess. From flashing her pantyless privates for all the paparazzi to see, to shearing her long blond locks to smashing up the windows of an SUV outside of the home of her ex, Kevin Federline, Britney's been screaming for help for a long time.

And so has Mr. McMahon. If given a chance, I could write volumes on the Chairman's behavior. From his vow to inject and destroy his own creation, WWE, with nWo poison several years ago, to being driven batty by DX in 2006 to having a breakdown in the middle of the ring a couple of weeks ago on Raw following his embarrassment at Raw XV, Mr. McMahon has practically become a poster boy for meltdowns. All the members of his family have worried about his mental state. Even his own daughter, Stephanie, has publicly stated that he is a danger to himself.

Not Used to Hearing ‘No'

Britney and Mr. McMahon are troubled, but they've brought a lot of their problems upon themselves. They seem to love the drama and the spotlight. How else can you explain Britney headlining the gossip pages every single week, and the Chairman getting huge amounts of face time every Monday night? Hell, Mr. McMahon even faked his own death to allegedly find out if people truly "cared" about him.

You can tell these are two huge egos that are not accustomed to -- and don't accept -- hearing "No." How else could you explain Britney's disturbingly bad performance at the MTV Video Music Awards last year? She was out of sync with her lip sync and cows in Arizona were heard mooing when they saw her in that skimpy getup. Britney just wasn't ready to perform that night.

Any take-charge PR strategist and handler could keep Ms. Spears and Mr. McMahon out of trouble and away from the glaring media spotlight by putting them on lockdown. Seclusion and time away from the cameras could give them both much-needed time to reflect and recharge.

But don't hold your breath. Britney's handlers haven't been able to control her, and Mr. McMahon has nothing but "yes" men at his side. First it was The Stooges [Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson], then it was his Executive Assistant, Jonathan Coachman, and most recently, Raw GM William Regal. And who knows how many other "yes" men bow to his every whim, too scared to say "No," behind the scenes?

Frayed Family Ties

Britney is not only feuding with K-Fed, but she has also been on the outs with her mother, Lynne. Britney's mom had reportedly wanted her daughter to get (and stay) in rehab to avoid total self-destruction, but Britney's spiral has known only one direction -- downward.

Mr. McMahon has had very public wars with every single member of his immediate family -- it's no wonder that the McMahons have been called the most dysfunctional family in sports-entertainment. And what father do you know who has actually fought his children in the ring? Let's get the McMahon and Spears clans into group family therapy.

Unholy Matrimony

Britney Spears has been married twice. Her first marriage -- a peculiar union to her childhood friend that I dare anyone to understand -- lasted a grand total of 55 hours and was annulled. It's also pretty clear the marriage to K-Fed didn't end amicably, and they can't get along for the sake of their children.

Mr. McMahon is technically still married to his wife Linda, but he doesn't know the meaning of fidelity. The proof is in the green pudding with his illegitimate son, Hornswoggle. The Chairman has denied having multiple affairs, but you have to wonder exactly what his definition of "multiple" is. The list of Divas he has had dalliances with is like a who's who in WWE. It's a wonder he hasn't been hit with a sexual harassment suit.

Britney Spears and Mr. McMahon … hmmm. They could be the only two people on Earth who understand each other's problems perfectly. The Chairman could be Britney's Sugar Daddy if she didn't have an empire of her own. For all her troubles -- and perhaps partly because of them -- Britney Spears is a legitimate pop icon.

Undoubtedly, Mr. McMahon is a sports-entertainment icon who forever changed the industry. He'd like to think of himself as a pop or historical icon, but the historians will have to make that final call. For now, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy have nothing to worry about.

Let's face it: Spears and the Chairman have brought smiles to our faces over the years, for both the right and wrong reasons. You either love them or hate them -- or love to hate them -- but you can't ignore them. Let's hope they both get the help they need soon, and that someone brings a smile to their faces, for all the right reasons.

VOTE: Who would make a perfect mate for Britney Spears?

View Comments

ArticlesYou May Also Like