Harvey's whipped

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February 15, 2007

At five-foot-seven and 155 pounds (soaking wet and holding a brick), one-time WWE manager Harvey Wippleman had his squinty little eyes focused only on Bertha Faye in 1995. It wasn't because he likely just couldn't see around her five-foot-eight, 260-pound frame, all garishly outfitted in flowers, flecks and fishnets that shaped her legs into buns of cinnamon rather than steel. Neither was it Bertha's desire to fashion Women's Championship gold around her…shoulder, or the fact that she pounded her opponents with the same zeal as hitting an all-you-can-eat buffet. No, Wippleman's wonder lust was far more basic: Bertha simply paid attention to him.

Think of it this way: Other than Sid Justice and perhaps Kamala, Harvey's managerial track record at WWE usually didn't include long-term main-eventers. (Giant Gonzales, Mr. Hughes, Adam Bomb, The Warlord, Kwang…must we continue?) Before long, even they usually left the simpy wimp hanging high and dry. But Bertha was different; she knew how to treat her Wippleman. Sure, she berated him, intimidated him, and often flat-out castigated him. But she always stood by him (and around him…and over him…). That alone was more than enough to reinforce to Harvey that their love knew no boundaries—at least, none that mattered beyond the "Sweet Lovin' Arms" he woefully sang of her. (An entrance theme that to this day still leaves fish floating belly-up in the water.)

Yes, string bean Harvey was supersized-smitten with Bertha, and dutiful to her needs beyond human reason; one WWE Superstar even suggested that she only took him home just so he could butter her hips and get her through the door of her double-wide trailer. Nevertheless, the "Queen of the Trailer Park" provided the goods to justify his love…and, for several months, the Women's Championship, which she acquired with a devastating Big Bertha Bomb at SummerSlam 1995. (Harvey certainly had to be thrilled; he had no way of knowing then that he'd become "Hervina," the only man to ever win the prestigious title five years later.) As she carried him out of the ring that night, proud that she had given the Women's division an extreme makeover (the home edition, in her case), Bertha fended off her jealous lightweight lover's tirade toward Jim Ross to emphatically state two things: "I have the man…and the shiny gold to put across my Slim-Fast waist!"

Sadly, Bertha would lose her Women's Championship later that October, and her li'l Wippleman several months after that. After a year of seemingly-endless love, Harvey's romantic binge unexpectedly purged, and for the most superficial of reasons: she dropped ten pounds. Thankfully, their '95 love affair keeps filling our hearts as WWE.com's No. 9 Whoa-mance.

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