In Real Life: Lesson Seven
On bended knee I come to you humbly asking for your forgiveness. It has been SO long since I have espoused knowledge upon you - but not without good reason.
I have had the daunting task of entertaining our fans in South America, then preparing Big Daddy V for the Elimination Chamber and now my focus is on the ULTIMATE THRILL: WRESTLEMANIA!!!
I have received more than 5,000 e-mails since my last "fireside chat" (it's a presidential reference, don't strain too hard -- sheesh, leave you for a month or two and look what happens -- your brains turn to mush)!
OK, let's get to the questions. I know you are thirsty for my wisdom, so drink, my children -- drink and let my juices run down your chins:
AMY from Duluth, Minn. asks:
Dear Matt, I met you at a SmackDown show a while back. You were so sweet, only signing autographs for kids and girls (my boyfriend was mad ‘cause I left him to talk to you). Anyway, I wanted to thank you for being so sweet. I'm embarrassed to ask this, but: I noticed that you smelled soooo good and your skin was really nice. Do you do anything special?
I make it a point to come out and talk to kids ‘cause they need role models and girls ‘cause, well, they need me and I need them. As far as my routine for "handsomeness," it is as follows:
First I shave BEFORE the shower. I use freezing cold water, which is an old military trick for the soldiers in hot weather to avoid razor burn and irritation. Afterward, I hop into the shower. (I don't literally hop ‘cause I may slip and fall.) I like a hard, beating shower; it is amazing what a hard, hot shower can do for aches and pains.
I wash my hair with a shea butter shampoo from a company called Organix; I then use a BioGlace hydrotherapy shampoo and a Homedics head scrubber to stimulate the cells of the scalp. Fortunately, I have been blessed with good hair, although my haircut leaves much to be desired. When long, my hair is beautiful.
Some of you may remember my attempt at growing my hair, but then I realized I would be TOO good looking and it would take away from my task at hand, which is the dominance of Big Daddy V. I'll leave the devilishly good-looking long-haired look to my friend William Regal.
Moving on: Sometimes, I condition with a strawberry extract conditioner, but not too often, as conditioners can leave your hair limp at times.
I then use a full-body loofah to brush away the dead cells of the skin; I like Dial soap -- the yellow kind. It keeps me smelling fresh the whole day through.
I use a Burt's Bees soap on my face. Either wild lettuce or tomato extract. I have VERY sensitive skin on my face, so I am extremely careful as to what I use to wash.
Once the shower is over, I immediately use a Twinlab facial moisturizer called: Na-PCA, which is the natural moisturizing agent in human skin. It has no scent and is a spray-on product that absorbs quickly and keeps the skin hydrated.
After I let that dry, I use one of two products depending on the time of day: If the shower is in the morning, I use a Burt's Bees Marshmallow extract moisturizer. It smells amazing and really does a good job and doesn't make me shiny throughout the day.
If the shower is at night, then it is a deep conditioning cocoa butter, which contributes to an even tone and helps me keep my golden tan.
Now it's on to Q-tips (not the member of Tribe Called Quest). I use a simple procedure when cleaning my ear canal. First I lick the tip -- of the Q-tip -- and insert them into my ears. I leave them in there and go about my routine, so I essentially look like a robot. This is partly to absorb and also just ‘cause it's silly and I'm a jovial guy.
I then go to my hair. I use a simple, light pomade, usually from Pinaud or Clubman, applied via the fingertips in an upward motion. I then use a blow dryer, on cool, and blow the hair in an upward, forward direction.
Every time is an adventure ‘cause I never know what my hair is going to do (lucky I have a handsome face, huh)?
Then it's time for fragrance ... depending on my mood, I use Jo Malone (Pomegranate Noir), Allure for men, Terres D' Hermes, Versace or Hanae Mori.
Then I iron and get dressed.
Clothes are an entire other column. Sorry.
WENDY from Spokane comes to me with:
Hi Striker, I don't know if I can ask this and I'm sure you won't respond, but I'm pregnant and not sure I want to have a child right now. What do I do?
WOW! Umm ... uhhh ... OK, this is a rough question, but you know what? We have discussed gay marriage, religion and politics in this column and above all, I respect our fans, so I feel I owe it to you and myself to answer this.
THIS IS MY OPINION, AND I AM A MAN WHO WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BEAR A CHILD. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND!
I once knew a girl, young, under 25, who got pregnant and was not in a position to have a child. She weighed her options based on career, community and relationship status and decided to terminate her pregnancy. I stood by her side as a friend, as a man raised by women, and did all I could to TRY and understand her pain. She wrestled with her decision but ultimately knew she made the right choice for HERSELF and her happiness.
Every night since then I have prayed that when her time is right she will be blessed with a child again and this time be in a position to have the baby and be blessed with a man in her life that loves her and will provide every comfort and convenience to her and their family. A strong family that will be filled with love.
I have faith that this day will be upon her and when it comes it will be wonderfully perfect and she will have a smile and feeling of fulfillment. For happiness will fill her life, as it so rightfully should.
ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THIS DECISION. You have already said that you are not sure -- at this stage -- what you want to do. Look at your life, look at the people in it and pray -- we, as humans usually underestimate our own "gut feelings." We usually know the right thing to do in our hearts and I am confident whatever decision you make, it will be the right one. Please know that you will now be in my prayers as well ...
I hope this helps. I can't tell you what to do with your life; I can only offer my opinion.
MAURTY from Erie, Pa. writes:
STRIKER!! Do you have a girlfriend?
(Fumbling) Umm ... well let's see ... define girlfriend. I have plenty of friends that are girls ...
I'll be honest, I love women. I was raised in a family of affectionate, brilliant, strong women and that is all I find myself attracted to.
Many ladies approach me just wanting to be with me based on my fame, or my intellect or my good looks and other legendary tales of my prowess.
In the end, the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with will be: As smart as my mother, as soft and good-hearted as my grandmother, have the sense of humor of my oldest sister and be all around beautiful and sexy and empowered. If you're out there, come say hi.
Finally, ANDY from Buffalo, N.Y. queries with:
Striker, I saw on YouTube that you wrestled Kofi Kingston in Chile. You're a great wrestler. Why don't you wrestle on TV anymore? You would be great for Money in the Bank!!
First off Andrew, you saw my what? That's quite offensive! Oh wait, I've just been informed that you are referencing some form of Internet video site, OK.
Yes, I did tangle with Kofi in Chile, and I will admit he is one of the most talented, quick and agile competitors in ECW and has an amazing future ahead of him, if he would only allow me to manage his career!
Right now my main focus is the dominance of Big Daddy V. Believe me when I tell you I have a plan and when the time is right, you will all be privy to my madness.
As far as MITB goes, as of now it is shaping up to be quite an exciting match for WrestleMania.
Jeff Hardy is a rock star daredevil who has proven he will do anything it takes to win. Carlito is the dark horse in this match thus far in my opinion; his Backcracker is a devastating maneuver that can come from out of nowhere!
I also like Chris Jericho's chances here, but you have to ask yourself what toll the Elimination Chamber has taken on him and is he is 100 percent?
Mr. Kennedy has experience in this type of match and won it last year, so he HAS to be the odds-on favorite to do it again.
ECW is represented by the revitalized, "Gold Standard" and arguably the best pure athlete in the entire WWE: Shelton Benjamin.
I'm not so sure that Shelton even needs the ladder; he can just leap up and grab that briefcase at anytime. He has an advantage as far as athleticism, seeing as to how he really only has to go up a few rungs and then can leap to the briefcase whereas the other competitors need to climb the ladder almost in its entirety.
I believe there will be more competitors in this year's MITB. What about Big Daddy V?! Can you imagine the vision of 500 pounds of tattooed ebony flesh climbing that ladder?!
Hmm, that gives me an idea. OK, I have to abruptly end this and make a few phone calls.
Until next time, always remember: ONE OF THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD FORCES IN THE WORLD IS THE POWER OF KINDNESS.
Listen- when life leaves you beaten up
Don't lay around in it, hurry pick them pieces up
Cling closely to the people you love
They're your umbrella when the weathers tough
See to it that your head is up.
I don't expect you to have stood where I'm standing
Try, you and I could build this understanding
but you can't honestly shake unless you know where my hand's been - brother.
This is a piece of my puzzle now
Through the years I found peace in my struggle now
If we were put here to carry a great weight
The very things we hate are here to build those muscles
- BROTHER ALI