So many times, I sit at this computer and desire to pen the most wittiest of clever columns. Then I realize that my "style" gets lost upon many of you who either don't understand or just plain don't appreciate my wit.

Many things -- and people for that matter -- go unappreciated. Take for instance, the officials of WWE.

Here are men responsible for so many things throughout the course of an event. They are responsible for having a working knowledge of ALL the rules and regulations as well as maintaining order inside the ring.

Couple those responsibilities with dealing with a shrewd and clever personality such as myself, and the officials of WWE have an unenviable task of guiding and regulating all that transpires.

As a teacher, I used to convince my students that I did indeed have "eyes in the back of my head." While physically that is unlikely, what is likely is my ability to predict and use other tools, such as a reflection, a shadow, or a stereotypical tendency (yes, profiling has its validity) to determine what transgressions my students were up to.

Using the knowledge that I have, plus the art of distraction as well as the ability to blend with the scenery, I can basically get away with anything (and I often do).

There are so many things that I have done underneath the noses of some of my closest counterparts that they may never know of -- and at times, I feel guilty.

It shouldn't be so easy. …

Outside of myself, my transgressions and misdeeds, the officials of WWE do a great job of enforcing the parameters of our sport.

Time-tested officials such as Mickie Henson, Jimmy Korderas, Charles Robinson, Jack Doan, Chad Patton and the incomparable Mike Chioda have been laying the groundwork and maintaining the structure of our sport for quite some time.

Even some of the fresher faces of officiating such as Mike Posey, John Cone and the official who was covered in pudding during the Candice-Melina match at One Night Stand are nestled firmly beneath the learning tree of the more experienced officials.

Add a veteran of a great wrestling family that should be included on the WWE DVD "The Most Powerful Families in Wrestling" such as Scott Armstrong, a man who has seen every trick both in AND out of the squared circle, and it makes the task of underhanded chicanery virtually impossible.

Or does it?

I love a challenge. I love to see how far I can manipulate a situation. How far I can bend the rules. How far from your original intentions I can take you.

So, while I commend these men and their ability to impede MOST of the "tomfoolery" that may occur inside the squared circle. I KNOW that they, as well as anyone else, are of NO match for my clever, calculating, criminal genius of a mind.

I can make anyone do anything without even realizing they are doing it....

See?

Many people will ask, "Matt, please show us how to control situations, please teach us how to use ignorant, simple people of every day life against themselves to get what we want."

It is not as if you will understand or even be able to apply my "Laws of Power" because while I may give you the blueprint, you lack the innate, GOD-given abilities that I have!

Nevertheless, in an attempt to create a legion of students -- a class, if you will -- here is some direction to scramble your brain...further.

Those who take from this, join me; those who do not, I challenge you:

Sit and watch, or stand up and see for yourself.

How to manipulate:

A. Use your surroundings and all that is already in place. Remember, "Nobody sees tears when you're walking through a storm." People have their own issues and assumptions that they carry with them. Simply play off of what people already give you and your job is that much easier.

B. Welcome all the hatred they can "aim at your name." This world is cold; sometimes you have to make your own heat. And if you can make people notice you -- SIMPLY BY WALKING INTO A ROOM -- then you can control any situation.

How you handle that moment is entirely up to you. I am a man of faith -- and I realize that I have a responsibility to be careful with my power. Thus, I choose to float. As long as positive energy flows through me, then the situation I manipulate will result in a positive way as well.

C. Study your shadow. Stand in front of a bare wall with a light behind you and watch and analyze.

Talk to your shadow, eventually it will advise you not to worry.

(I know many of you will not understand this, and I don't expect you to. You're simply not at that enlightened of a level.)

For now, practice these things. Be careful -- because even you may stumble upon something and you may hold a situation in your hands. What you do with it will move in a circular rotation.

So even if a broken clock is right twice a day, every other minute, it is dead wrong!

Very few people stand on their own two feet, and even fewer speak to themselves honestly.

The great poet, Brother Ali, once wrote:

"I diligently kill the soliloquies of these millipedes that try to pass themselves off as ill MCs. I weave a web of words so intricately that the English dictionary lacks an adjective to fit me."

Break this down, look up the words that you do not understand, and see what this poet is saying. Send me your interpretations. Tell me how you will manipulate.

Digest this week's food for thought -- and if you can keep it down without vomiting upon yourself, then may you feel me in your stomach.

So for now,

Class…dismissed.

Contact the Extreme Educator now.