Delayed experience

Delayed experience

Editor's Note: This Experience was originally written on Dec. 19, 2007. Check back next week for the very first Elijah Experience of the year 2008!

Today, your Host of Hosts will do his part to stay impartial and call it like he sees it. So with that being said, all I can say is, "Wow!!" Raw's XV Anniversary was stuff legends are made of. As a matter of fact, many of the Superstars that appeared on that very show were legendary, but who was your favorite? My favorite without a doubt was the first Diva of WWE, Sunny! I thought it was very cool to see her on Raw after all these years, still looking beautiful. Hey, Sunny, in case you're reading this, I could use some "Sunny Days" in my life right about now.

"What does everybody want?" The Snowman made his long-awaited return to Raw! That's another ECW Original that I'd like to run over with the Elijah Express. Is it me or does it seem as if Al Snow has really lost his mind? Darn those wvo (no typo) kids.

Why was CM Punk on that show? Is it because he's ECW Champ? I don't care who he is or what title he holds, the only Superstar from ECW that's suited for such an event is YOUR Guiding Light and the Black Pope of ECW, Elijah Burke! Seeing Ol' Charles Montgomery out there just reminds me that I have unfinished business with him that I need to tend to in my quest for the ECW Championship. I shouldn't have that much trouble with him now; it's possible he could be hung over from the beer bash.

Here's a shocker for you: I recently received a script for an appearance on a reality show. A reality script? (*gasp*) Thankfully, it didn't involve searching out ghosts. Look, I love Florida, but I'm really not into New York like that.

Oh man, I went to a certain store the other day and this girl at customer service turned toward me and just stared at me in what appeared to be uncertainty/disgust. I was like, "Are you gonna help me?" and she was like, "Uhm, yea-uh." I then said, "Do you wanna help me because it doesn't seem as if you do," and then she looked at her co-worker and was like, "I'll let you take him."

If you're reading this, you inebriated inbred, I've shopped there for years and have never been treated with such disrespect. Why can't you be like that lil' old lady Judy at the entranceway that always greets ya with a smile? Or that lil' old man that pushes the carts into the building? No one is forcing you to be there and work for a living. I was always taught if you're gonna do something, do it with a smile on your face -- unless, of course, your smile was as hideous as Balls Mahoney; then, you're excused!

You made me feel very uncomfortable. Why!? Was it because I was wearing a gray shirt that read, "I love" on the front of it and on the back it had a big red bull's eye? Because of you, I will never ever look at Wally World the same again! The Black Pope has spoken!!!!!!!

Need Enlightenment? Reach out to your Black Pope at

WWE Shows Latest Results

View all Shows