"I know why families were created, with all their imperfections. They humanize you."~ Anais Nin

There's a lot that's been going on with YOUR Host of Hosts, but as always, I'll put aside me and my personal issues for the enlightenment of my congregation. I mean, if I don't shine my light upon this dark world, then who will, E.T?

Now first things first, the million dollar question this week is, "Who's Your Daddy"? As many of you know, this thing has the possibility of turning ugly, but for those of you who don't, allow YOUR Guiding Light to shed his light upon this situation.

Mr. McMahon was served with a summons for an illegitimate child. The following week it was revealed that his bastard child was a part of the WWE roster. Well, if his child is indeed a current member of the WWE roster, then there is an even greater possibility that the "Mother" was a part of the WWE family. So without further ado, I will provide you with a couple of potential mother/child combinations. (WARNING!!!!! This could get ugly or just down right scary.)

Vince McMahon + Mae Young = Sandman … It's possible. We all know how Mae likes to get down. I don't blame ol' Sandy; I'd stay drunk too if I came out of her!

Vince McMahon + Moolah = Melina … But if that's the case, after what happened between Vince and Melina…. OMG, I don't wanna go there, that'll just remind me of those Kentucky folk s. Good thing I implemented my Z-TIP (Zero Tolerance Inbred Policy)!

Vince McMahon + Luna (think about it) = CM Punk … That'll explain all those darn tattoos and his bizarre behavior … Straightedge? Yeah, right. And I'm the Black Pope!

Vince + Sapphire = Big Daddy V…. Please say that didn't happen. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit!

Vince + Oxeynahippobeast (stretch it out now) = Balls Mahoney…. Quick, get the tranquilizer guns…. He must be returned to the wild ASAP! He's down to just two-and-a-half teeth. Just Gawd Awful!

Editor's note: Don't agree with me? Send me your thoughts, comments and questions to ECWHOH@yahoo.com. Next week I'll respond publicly in F2F!