Time for a New Change in ECW
There comes a point and time in every man's life where he has to make a decision." ~ Elijah Burke ECW on Sci Fi, 3-6-2007
Is it me or has someone other than my congregation been reading The Elijah Experience? Someone like, umm, Balls Mahoney? You can't blame him, can you? I mean, even the biggest LLM's in the bowels of this Earth needs YOUR Guiding Light to shine his light upon them (Balls needs more than my light shined upon him -- try some Tide w/Bleach).
But ya know, the oddest thing happened this past week on ECW on Sci Fi. One would think that after all of the publicity that I've given Balls Mahoney in MY column that he would've been a lil' more grateful, walked out to the ring, lied down and allowed me to pin him, but that didn't happen. Balls wanted to make a name for himself by challenging YOUR Host of Hosts; so I had to do what I had to do. 4-Upside the head and one E-Express later was all she wrote for Ratatouille, I mean, ol' Ballsy!
Speaking of movies, is there anyone out there more pumped over the new Transformers movie than yours truly? Transformers is like the be all-end all to cartoons becoming reality on the big screen. One Transformer in particular that I hold dear to me is Optimus Prime. He's like me -- a leader. He fights for what's right and like myself, he fights for the people, unlike Tommy Dreamer who reminds me of Megatron who was just evil.
See, no one wants to live in the past. They want to move forward in life, and they want to be a part of something new, like my New Breed and ECW, which I shall take to a NEW level. No more Originals trying to hold me back, and no more wannabes (yeah, that's you champ) trying to be a Hollywood A-lister. And trust me, nobody wants Balls Mahoney … well, actually the zoo is still looking for him. RUN BALLS, RUN!! Soon, I shall transform ECW and become the ruler of the world (insert evil laugh)!
Now it's time for Face 2 Face:
Cory writes: "hey burke i this is cory im a big ecw fan and i dont want jonny nitro being champ,do u think cm punk can take it away from him?"
Kasey writes: "Hey Elijah I read the Elijah Expierience every week and want to say i like it alot and you are my favorite wrestler. But i have a few questions. If you were to face either CM Punk or Johnny Nitro for the ECW championship who would you choose?"
ECWHOH replies: Hey guys, what has happened to spellcheck? Good grief! Since I've received so many e-mails concerning that above, I'll dedicate this F2F to those questions, which basically are, CM Punk or Johnny Nitro? Honestly, it doesn't matter who ends up with the gold because they must come see YOUR Paragon of Virtue! Nitro's living in La-La Land and Punk's a little watered down. Don't believe me? My redneck brother just went and bought a bullfrog for his pond, and named the bullfrog CM Punk. … Just brilliant!
Questions, Comments and/or concerns? Reach out to your Paragon of Virtue at ECWHOH@yahoo.com.