Lighting the congregation
This Experience is dedicated to Gerriyon Dougherty, 2004-2008. RIP.
"Death took him because he was ready; he's giving the rest of us a chance to get right!" -- Black Pope
Welcome MY Congregation to the next chapter of an informative, yet entertaining Elijah Experience. The No. 1 most visited blog on WWE/ECW.com and there's not enough sheetz filled with dirt that can do anything about it … Period! As you've all probably heard by now, we are on the verge of the WWE Draft. Now we all know that when it comes to the WWE Draft, the only thing for sure is that "Nothing's for Sure!" So what that means is that YOUR Guiding Light could possibly be drafted to Raw or SmackDown or remain on ECW. I have my pick of where I would like to be after the Draft is over, but which do you prefer? E-mail YOUR Host of Hosts at ECWHOH@yahoo.com.
The WWE Draft hasn't been the only thing making news as of late. The fact that my homie Mr. McMahon (I call 'em Vince 'cause we cool like that) has decided to give away the sum of $1 million every week on Monday Night Raw has the world talking, including the WWE Superstars. I'll tell you now that he's a better man than I am, but then again, he's also richer, so go figure. I wouldn't dare give away $1 million unless it was for charity (from my left hand to my right hand), but what I would give away is MY Guiding Light to one million lost souls in this dark and evil world that see money as their god! Yes we all need money to survive, but some of you will go to any lengths just to gain a couple of bucks. I may leave a nasty taste in your mouth when I say this but, some of you disgust me! But thumbs up; The Miz still has you beat in the "intolerable aggravating weird/really weird would you please just shut the hell up and go away department!" Just gawd awful I tells ya!
Another man that's been creating a buzz as of late has become somewhat of the "The Next Big Thing" of MMA, "Internet flava of the month," Kimbo Slice. Now some idiot decided to write YOUR Paragon of Virtue and ask him why he stopped boxing since he had such a great career with a record of 103-1 and if he'd consider going into MMA. GeewizfreakingcabooseKabob! That e-mail was almost as funny as the one asking me if I knew that World Heavyweight Champion Edge and Vickie Guerrero were having an affair. (Sorry kid, I only watch ECW on Sci Fi.) Look, I stopped boxing because my heart was always set on WWE and entertaining YOU! When the opportunity came for me to come to the WWE, I chose to entertain millions around the world rather than getting punched in the face and possibly ruining my ‘Million Dollar Smile!' Now, as far as Kimbo Slice goes, this guy is a modern day gladiator who fights to survive. This guy was busting up people in backyards for a couple of bucks (there's that I'll do anything for a couple of bucks attitude again) before most of you even knew of him. I watched his most recent fight, and while he did win the fight, he did by no means dominate the fight. As a matter of fact, he was in really deep doo-doo during the second round. Kimbo looks to have a great future ahead of him but that could mean in a year or five years. But to think that he's ready to dominate MMA at this stage of his career, let alone last in a fight with YOUR Black Pope, is like thinking Colin Delaney will be the WWE Intergender Champion by this summer. Natalya would kick his @** if he even thought about it!
Speaking of guys vs. gals, it looks like one of the most electrifying, historical match-ups of all time has come to an end as Sen. Hillary Clinton has conceded her bid for the Democratic presidential nomination to my dawg Sen. Barack Obama. As I so sincerely wrote in last week's edition, "Enough is Enough and It's Time 4(UP) A Change!" I believe that change is indeed on the way for the USA with Barack leading the way (and Hillary by his side). Congrats to the both of them for making history in a way that it has only been dreamed, but never imagined.
In closing, here's something that I never imagined. I was nearly robbed by a 14-year-old kid on my plane ride home last week. As I boarded the plane, I noticed my row had two guys in it already and I had the window seat, so rather than sitting with them I choose to sit in another row's middle seat between a woman and kid (of course, first class was full). As I sat down, I took my iPod out of my bag and placed it in the seat rest in front of me and placed my PSP in the seat rest in front of the kid who was snoring like a hound dog. Needless to say, I was so exhausted that I immediately fell asleep and remained asleep until landing. Upon arriving to my destination, I awoke and grabbed my iPod (that I never listened to, btw) and placed it in my bag and then I reached over to the seat rest in front of the kid to grab my PSP only to notice that it was … GONE! Being the highly intelligent sophisticated morally sound human being that I am, I casually looked over to the kid who was sitting to my right, leaned over to him and whispered, "Do you feel lucky, punk? Go ahead, make my day!" Needless to say he immediately took my PSP out of his bag and gave it back to me. The nerve of him. That kid was one Elijah Express away from Neva-Nevadoitagainland! The Black Pope has Spoken!!