"WrestleMania, Madonna and beer bottles, oh my!"
"Diamonds are forever, and so is Ric Flair ... Woooooo!" -- "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, 1986
Does anyone remember that classic WrestleMania theme song? You know, the one that Linda McMahon comes out to? Man, I miss that theme song. You really knew that The Road to WrestleMania was in full effect when that song would play. If you have that song, play it right now while you read because WrestleMania XXIV is upon us, folks, and YOUR Guiding Light will be participating in the 24-Man Battle Royal. Being able to perform on the Biggest Stage of 'Em All, in front of my family and friends in my home state of Florida is pretty freakin' sweet!
Florida has always been one of those states that somehow stays in the headlines when it comes to history-making moments (and 'Mania will be no different), such as the uncounted ballots in the 2000 presidential election race that eventually became known as the Florida Recount. Well, eight years later, Florida, along with Michigan, has decided against such a recount with the current Democratic primaries taking place. Why? Shouldn't everyone's voice be heard? Shouldn't everyone's vote count? Or is the cost to do such more important? Whatever the case may be, I know the "material girl" Hillary Clinton isn't too thrilled with that decision and rightfully so! I will say this though, win or lose, Hillary has already shattered the glass ceiling of politics in this material world, and along with Barrack Obama, she has played a prominent role in the fulfillment of Dr. King's dream! God bless you, Madonna! ... And God bless America!
Well, by this time next week, I'll be writing you guys, telling of how I overcame the odds to become the THQ Superstar Challenge Champion for the second year in a row. I must admit, the competition will be stiff, and by stiff I don't mean like Kofi Kingston kicks (ouch), but competitive. I'll be keeping a close watch on the Jamaican Buzzsaw and Carlito. How dare they try to unseat your Host of Hosts from his championship status at the Superstar Challenge. That's like Fred Flintstone without Wilma; Shaggy without Scooby-Doo; Balls Mahoney without his three and a half toof! WTH?
OK, so I told you guys about my trip to the airport last week in Biloxi, Miss., but now allow me to tell you what happened when I got on the plane, which was more entertaining than the poop-filled cab ride. As I take my seat in the very front row of the airplane, this nice ol' lady who was the stewardess storms up to the front of the plane and cuts this hilarious promo on this guy who she felt was heavily under the influence of alcohol. She gets on the intercom and says, "OK, listen up! My dad was a Baptist preacher and I was raised right and I don't tolerate drunks. As far as I'm concerned, alcohol is nothing more than the ‘Devil in a Bottle' and we should gather it all up, dump it into the sea and kill all the fish." LOL! How freaking awesome is that? I was LMAO the whole time. This was someone who said look, this is my name and you can write me up if you like. I don't care, this is who I am! I didn't say it was right or wrong, but I applaud that!
Well, about four weeks ago, I remember crying after wrestling with one of my childhood idols for the very first and possibly last time. I'm putting my money on the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair to pull out all stops at WrestleMania XXIV, even going so far as to do some vintage Flair moves. Everyone seems to be counting him down for the three-count, but no one seems to remember that people have counted him out many times before, only to be shocked by Flair prevailing. Whatever happens, Ric Flair's legacy will live on forever, even if it's just by YOUR Paragon of Virtue walking to the ring, holding up four fingers out of respect. Thank you, Flair! The Black Pope Has Spoken!
Questions, comments and/or concerns? Reach out to the Black Pope at ECWHOH@yahoo.com.