Ain't no 'holla back' Burke

Ain't no 'holla back' Burke

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~ Herm Albright (1876-1944)

Greetings to MY congregation and, of course,  "HellooooooEvoreebody" to everyone else. As I write this, I sit relaxing and tanning on the beach so that my bronze skin can show up even better on WWEHD. Yeah, right. Me tanning? That's like me walking around with a shirt on that shows a chick (baby chicken) in front of a magnet, just bloody ridiculous. What's next? A fedora?

Speaking of chicks (females) Janet Jackson debuted at No. 1. with her new album. Congrats to her. I wish I had given her the chance of day when she tried to get with me. Yea, she was thick (that's not bad either) and doing well for herself, but I just couldn't come to terms with her wanting to be "In Control." Now, she's slim, trimmer and sporting an eight-pack and won't even return my phone call. Yo JJ, if you're reading this, I want you to know that you are still, "Dy-no-mite"! (I wonder if anyone will actually get that, lol.)

Did anyone recently hear or read about the lady that was stuck to the toilet seat for more than two years? Yes, she had some sort of phobia about the outside world and ending up living in the bathroom and sitting on the toilet for so long that her skin overlapped and began to grown attached to the toilet. When the EMTs arrived, they could barely breathe as the odor was ridiculously strong. Some even reported that the odor was comparable to good ol' Balls Mahoney breath. Naaaaaaaugh!!!

A lot of you have been asking about my irregular appearances on ECW as of late. Well, it should come as a relief to you to know that my "Special Attraction" status should soon be coming to an end real soon. Then, maybe we can get the ol' Express back on track and ride into the promised land.

Call me crazy, but did I over hear Joey Styles comment on my match on ECW on Sci Fi that I may have been watching Floyd Mayweather because I was working over Festus in the corner with punches? (Hasn‘t this guy called most of my matches?) Sure, Joey, just like you stole the tag line, "Oh My Gawd!" from the late legendary Gordon Solie.

WrestleMania XXIV is almost upon us. Just a couple more weeks and we're back in my home state and right down the road from my hometown of Jacksonville, Fla. Is it just me or does it just make sense that YOUR Guiding Light accompanies Big Show to the ring for his match against Floyd Mayweather at WrestleMania? I mean, who on the roster has more experience in boxing than me?

Oh well, regardless of where or how, hopefully the "Special Attraction" (that I've become) is allowed to shine his light at the Biggest and Baddest Attraction of the Year, WrestleMania XXIV! The Black Pope has spoken!!

Need enlightenment? Questions? Comments? Contact the Black Pope at

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