Top moments and taxis
"Dreams are the touchstones of our character." - Henry David Thoreau
As I write this my flight has been delayed for almost two hours, I've missed my connecting flight and I'm now in a cab taking a one-and-a-half-hour ride to finally make it to my destination. Did I mention my cab driver is wearing some sort of headwrap and a mustache/beard combo that looks faker than Joan Rivers' face? Just Brutal I tell ya!
This past year was filled with a lot of twists and turns for YOUR Guiding Light, but most of it was for the good. So for you, my Congregation, I will share some of my most personal thoughts as we take a look back over the past year and see how much of an impact YOUR Black Pope made in ECW. This week we'll focus on my favorite moments and next week will focus on my favorite matches. With that being said, here are my top three favorite moments of 2007:
1. WrestleMania 23: To go out there at the Granddaddy of 'em All and wrestle four granddaddies known as the ECW Originals in front of 80,000-plus fans was definitely the highlight of my career thus far.
2: ECW on Sci Fi: Mr. McMahon and I stood in the middle of the ring together looking GQ from head to toe like only we could. (Talk about a photo op!)
3. Defeating every other Superstar to become the THQ Superstar Challenge Champion in SmackDown vs. Raw '07. (Hey, it's a start. A title none the less!)
Now that all of that is behind me (us), I must go into 2008 setting new (gold) standards, breaking records and doing the unthinkable … which is, I don't know. It's unthinkable, right? Lol. However, cut me some slack, I'm about one wisdom bead shy of a full braid right now. I'm tired, (yawn) sleepy and I can barely think. Not to mention my cab driver keeps looking back here through his rear view mirror at me and it's really breaking my concentration. Those sadistic looking eyes do look very familiar. His forehead is pretty scarred and this cab reeks of odor. By Gawd it stinks! Sadistic eyes? Scars on forehead? Odor? Oh my! It can't be, I thought to myself.
Now I must know and there's only one way to find out for sure and that's for me to see his toofs! I try to get him to speak by saying, "Pretty nice day outside, huh?"
He looks at me, wait for it … wait for it. "Especially for this time of the year," he replies in that husky like and familiar voice while revealing three toofs! Ah hah, I knew it!
"Pull this cab over right now, BALLS!" I yelled. "I knew it was you under that disguise all along." The cabs pulls over and I immediately started taping up my right hand. "Get out of the car right now, BALLS, and bring a black sharpie with you so I can write 4-UP on my fist. I wanna be sure you can see it coming," I say to him.
"Sir, please calm down. Calm down. I'm not Balls, the driver explains. Here's my Photo I.D." I look at his I.D. card and realize that he's telling the truth. He wasn't Balls. His name was Nards … Nards Mahoney. He's Balls Mahoney's cousin from overseas. Oh well, BAHM! POWW! I hit him with 4-UP anyway. I jump in the cab and as I get ready to drive off I tell Nards to tell Balls that I said, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(Shake. Shake.) Sir, we've arrived at your destination. (Yawning) Man, that was a long ride.
"So, how much do I owe you sir?"
The driver responds, "That will be $200."
WHAT! $200? "Do you have a sharpie?" I ask while taking out my fist tape.
Submit your favorite 2007 matches of the Black Pope at ECWHOH@yahoo.com. The top three collectively will be displayed right here next week in the Elijah Experience!