A new day in ECW

A new day in ECW

"Today we are going to pretend like the wrestling world is starting all over again."-Ric Flair 1997.

In ECW on Sci Fi, a new day has dawned and a new era has begun. A new building is being erected and a new bridge is being built. In case you're too dense to understand what I'm saying, let me simplify it for you: The new breed of ECW on Sci-Fi led by yours truly has finally arrived.

I know many of you in my congregation are not at all surprised because this is something that YOUR Host of Hosts and YOUR Guiding Light has foretold the coming of for the past couple of weeks. It didn't take long after I shined my light on the new breed for us to come together and lay the groundwork for the future of ECW, and the future doesn't look too good for the ECW Originals. It's only a matter of time before the ECW Originals are put out to pasture.

Trust me, its my sincerest wish that WWE Films still afford the ECW Originals the opportunity to be cast in the upcoming movie, The Hazard of Oz! WWE Films producers have informed me, due to the fact that I knocked RVD's "ballz" (not to be confused with Balls Mahoney) so far up into his stomach, that RVD will now be cast in the role of Dorothy (Tommy Dreamer might object to that). Poor Balls Mahoney. WWE Films' team of scientists has yet to figure out exactly what type of creature he is. Oh well, I say cast him as the pile of dog poop he is and let him be just that: a big steamy smelly pile of Toto's dog ****!

Anyway, this is the week that I reach out, touch someone from the congregation and shine even more of my light into a dark world of some LLM-Lower Life Moron. (For further understanding of LLM, contact fellow new breed member Matt Striker.) After reading hundreds of emails, here are the top three picks for this week's Face 2 Face:

#3. Mikiye writes:

 Elijah, You're Hot!

ECWHOH replies:
Tell me something I don't know. Now Mikiye, if this is another attempt to try to become a member of my unofficial "Babies' Mama Club," try again. I've told you before, you're not in my league!

#2. Anonymous Unworthy Fan writes:

Dear Elijah,
I am glad that you're regaining your strength after that senseless attack from the old guard has-beens. Some people think they are always going to be at the peak of their glory days and that they will never have to let go of past accomplishments. Except for you, of course. I'm writing because I am fearful of one of those low class, degenerate rugtops stealing your rightful spot on the WrestleMania 23 card. Is there anything I can do to ensure that you are the one to challenge Bobby Lashley for the ECW World Title on April 1 instead of Balls Baloney, The Sadman, Saboohoo and Tommy Steamer?
Anonymous Unworthy Fan

ECWHOH replies:
Listen up, Moron! I don't need you or anyone else to write me and state the obvious when it comes to the ECW Originals. And don't you ever again write YOUR Paragon of Virtue and not have the decent common courtesy to leave your name. For crying out loud, it's the Internet. Use a fake one, you Anonymous Unworthy Bastard! Oh yeah, you can write ECW.com about my spot at WrestleMania 23.

#1. Daniel Smith of England writes:

Hay Im in college at the moment reading your page what is it u have against the ECW original's they are great what u need to have is a weapon and I don't mean Mr Mcmahon get something like a baseball bat, steel chair or maybe a play Sandman at his own game and get a Singapore cane if not u will stand no chance against the ECW Originals if all else fails get some. Tell me what do u think about that
Peace out 

ECWHOH replies:
Dear Daniel, this is what I saw when I read your letter: OJHGHGONOGRGONGONO{NGHROP{GOIPGJR{GIRGIPRJR{OIPEWH{.
Are you kidding me? Look at your grammar. How about that spelling? Tell me what college you're in because I need to make sure that it's shut down for the safety and well-being of others. I mean, look at what has happened with the presidency as of late. There's no way I'm willing to stand by and risk a repeat with someone like you possibly running this country just because you have proof of college. OMG! I better hurry up and expand my Z-TIP Plan (Zero Tolerance Inbred Policy) because you're obviously from Washington, D.C.

Editor's note: Don't agree? Questions, comments or concerns? Write ECWHOH@yahoo.com and go Face 2 Face w/YOUR Paragon of Virtue. 

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