Diary of Violence - 10/28/06
As I sit on my 13th airplane ride in 15 days, I reflect on the past wild ride.
The tour started off awesome. We had a wild crowd in Phoenix and then got on two planes to Japan. A very surreal thing happened on board the flight to Japan. There is one thing that you never want to hear from a flight attendant: "Sir, I need your help!" Immediate thoughts of “what the f@ck” occur. On a plane full of wrestlers, the flight attendant chose me to assist her with a problem passenger. She told me that she had a violent, drunk passenger in first class. Immediately I thought it was the Sandman, and thank God it was not. She told me that this drunken passenger needed to be detained. She said that she had handcuffs and restraints. I got permission from the Captain to do whatever it takes to calm him down. I was preparing to beat the crap out of the guy and when I went upstairs to detain him, along with a couple of other WWE Superstars, I was in the Innovator of Violence mode and really working myself up for a battle. As I make my way up the stairs I see a guy who was the size of Harvey Wippleman and barely conscious from alcohol. I should have brought Kelly Kelly with me because she could have beaten him down. I told the guy that I was a U.S. Marshal for ECW and I would detain him and he would be arrested by The Big Boss Man once we landed in Japan. He apologized, I think he burped and threw up a little in his mouth and passed out. I laughed my ass off, but the problem was that I worked myself up into such frenzy that I was now wide awake. 11 hours later and still awake we arrived in Japan.
The Japanese fans are awesome, they are very respectful and polite. They would camp out at the hotel for a picture, autograph or the chance to shake your hand. The shows were awesome. It was very interesting to see the ECW and RAW crews wrestling each other. I actually got so lost in the moment that I pulled out a top rope dive to the floor wiping out 4 members of the Spirit Squad. I had so much height they had to contact air traffic control at Narita Airport. Actually the last part went like this: I mounted the top rope like RVD does and the Japanese fans rose out of their seats. I looked around perched on the top rope like a bird ready to fly, just like RVD. Then I stood up on the top turnbuckle looking at the Spirit Squad and basically fell off the top rope on top of them. That is why it is called high risk district up there. The crowd chanted ECW and the boys in the back ribbed me to no end.
If anyone ever goes to Tokyo I highly recommend the rollercoaster in the Tokyo Dome park. It was an adrenaline rush. It is so high and a straight drop; it feels like you are going to fall out of your seat. When you arrive back into the port, the Japanese workers clap for your bravery.
Then it was off to Hawaii. I would like to tell all men that I do not care
if you have a body like Test or Johnny Nitro; whatever your culture is, no
man should wear a Speedo bathing suit. WWE has a dress code and this should
be put in it. Tony Garea should be fined several thousand dollars for
wearing one in public. I know he is from New Zealand and looks great for
his age but what the hell? Leave the banana hammock at home.
I did not like TV this week, especially because I was not on it.
I am off to Wisconsin this Saturday, as it is my anniversary of my first match. I really am grateful for still being able to wrestle. Thanks for supporting my career all these years.
I also want to tell everyone to watch CM Punk on Sci Fi Channel on Halloween. He is going to stay at the hotel were they filmed The Shining. It is supposedly haunted. Punk, make sure you represent ECW. If you cry or look like an idiot you have to answer to a locker room full guys who are a lot more scarier than the undead.
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