J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Jeff Hardy

Greetings to all from under the black, 200X Resistol hat from your BBQ loving’ Okie, who thoroughly enjoyed being in Manchester, England this week for Raw.  It is great to be home in Oklahoma where I do my best thinking on the ever challenging selection process for the Raw Superstar of the Week. 

This week the coveted, Heisman-like Raw Superstar of the Week is an easier choice than usual. After consulting with my secret panel of experts and thoroughly evaluating all the information accumulated from this week’s broadcast the winner is….Jeff Hardy! We will have more on the “enigma’ known as Jeff Hardy after these opinionated and, perhaps, incoherent ramblings.

What an atmosphere in Manchester Monday night for Raw! The live crowd could not have been better. I arrived at 7:30 a.m. Monday morning and by the time the show started Monday night I had taken a nap, showered, enjoyed some English groceries and was ready to rock at the MEN Arena.  I am not sure how much rocking a 54—year—old guy can do, but I was in the mood to rock nonetheless. The live crowd has the ability to make an average show great, and a great show off the charts! Manchester WWE fans were with it the entire evening.  Congrats to the fans of Manchester: you were “this close” to winning this week’s Raw Superstar of the Week.

It is always great to visit with fans around the globe, and you should have been a fly on the wall when yours truly was having a conversation after Raw with some fans from Hungry. They had traveled to Manchester just for Raw. Between their broken English and my Southern drawl we had a helluva time understanding each other, but we finally succeeded. I guess you had to be there.

If you are a DX fan and had DX with over five appearances on the show in your office pool Monday night…YOU WIN!! HBK/HHH had a full wagon to pull Monday night in a variety of presentations. I really liked the business DX did with Cryme Tyme, especially when HBK channeled Barbara Billingsley in her classic appearance on the movie “Airplane”, which I think I have memorized from start to finish.

DX went through their opposition Monday night like salt through a widowed woman. Enough said on that. I can’t remember the last time I used the term “Bounty Hunter” on TV. Next Monday night in Baltimore I might utter “foreign object” or “this could be a main event anywhere in the country”.  

The Spirit Squad defeating The Highlanders on U.K. soil surprised me somewhat. Nonetheless, trouble seems to be peculating in the camp of the men in green with no last names. I “Rode Through the Desert On a Horse with No Name” once, but that’s a story for another time.

Cena vs. Umaga looks to be a physical and developing rivalry. I am interested to see where this one takes us WITHOUT the Big Show being involved. That’s of course excluding the Survivor Series in what should be a red hot Philly in about a week.

I love my friend Jerry Lawler to death, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what he is doing interacting with Chris Masters. It would seem that this situation is leading to a one on one match which takes King away from the announcer desk, which I don’t personally enjoy. However, seeing King be involved in physicality is SO much better than seeing yours truly involved in such! Every time I have ever been forced to get in the ring has set the business back at least a decade and the threat of ever seeing Ol’ J.R. in tights would traumatize young children without a doubt. It would be like seeing the latest Paul Heyman Speedo Calendar. How’s that for a cruel visual??

Todd Grisham joined me for commentary on Raw after the King departed Monday night and I swear at some point Todd, if that is his real name, channeled the late, great sportscaster Harry Carey during the evening. Or, perhaps I am just losing it. Some would say that is more likely. 

Shelton Benjamin where are you??

Carlito, we know where you are but have you been where we think you have been or, oh never mind!

Looking at the Survivor Series card I see some really unique teams assembled and wonder how some of these units will function. I love the elimination tag bouts as I am a “winners and losers”, old school dinosaur.  What match do you think will steal the show in Philly?

Mickie James looked a little too comfortable last Monday in the shackles but that is another story all together.  Mickie and Lita have the opportunity to really raise the bar in women’s wrestling when they next meet. I like the potential of this match but not with shackles or arms tied behind one’s back. Do you think Coachman accepts personal favors in exchange for mandating goofy stipulations that are not fair whatsoever? I thought so too.

Good grief folks, did you see the size of that salami?!! (That’s a first for this space.)

It was nice while it lasted….the Ric Flair/Roddy Piper duo that is. Between an all out assault by Edge/Orton Monday night highlighted by a Con-chair-to and a pesky kidney stone issue, the “Rowdy One” was  incapacitated early, leaving Naitch all alone to face “the future of the business.” Even with Piper being under the weather, I think the two legends would have been able to retain their tag team championship Monday night but not after Hot Rod’s brains were scrambled by the chair shot.

All this brings us to the Jeff Hardy-Johnny “Don’t Call Me Monday” Nitro match for the Intercontinental Championship. In my humble opinion this was the best match of the night with Jeff retaining the IC Title. Both athletes had excellent nights (Melina please stop the “primal screams”, you’re killing us). I am really interested in seeing how Nitro responds to this loss. Look for Nitro to have another stellar night in Baltimore this Monday in the Ladder Match for the IC Title against a ladder savvy Jeff Hardy. I would guess we will see the beloved and desirous “Holy S***” chant during this match at some point come Monday Night Raw.  Does Raw have to pay a royalty to ECW when Raw fans utilize these chants?

I hope you have a great week and enjoy Raw from Baltimore, the home of wonderful crab cakes. This will be in the arena where I once broadcast a WCW Great American Bash pay-per-view. It was highlighted by a Scaffold Match featuring 3 of the 4 in the contest who were afraid of heights! Yours truly had a kidney stone fragment and subsequently passed it while the show was in progress. I don’t know what hurt worse, the less than good pay-per-view or me passing kidney stone particles. Good Lord, I hope I just didn’t jinx myself!!

If you are in Waco, Texas this Saturday and see a stocky (hey, it’s my column and I will describe me any way I choose) guy wearing a black hat be sure and say “Howdy.” I will be there attending the OU-Baylor football game which airs on Fox Sports at 11 central time.

Be sure and check out our website as I have answered many emails this week on a wide variety of subjects of which you might be interested. Be well.

Boomer Sooner!!


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