J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Jerry 'The King' Lawler
Greetings from under the 200X, black Resistol hat from your barbeque-lovin' Okie, who is holding his breath over this weekend's Oklahoma University-Texas Tech Big 12 football game in Lubbock, Texas while I prepare for the 21st Survivor Series this Sunday in Miami live on pay-per-view and on DIRECTV at J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant in Norman, Okla.
This week's Raw Superstar of the Week is an easy choice. I didn't need any feedback from Cowboy Bill Watts or Cowboy Lang … or from Rocky Johnson or Ahmed Johnson, from Pat Patterson or Pat Barrett, from Jim Barnett or Jim Wilson … from the Dingo Warrior or Ultimate Warrior … from the Masked Assassin or the Masked Destroyer .. or from Randy Orton or Bob Orton.
Nope, this week's decision is a no-brainer (no jokes please) for yours truly. Drum roll please … the winner of the Raw Superstar of the Week is … Jerry "The King" Lawler! (Not Jerry "The RING" Lawler, as NBC's Al Roker said one year during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.)
The King loves J.R.'s Beef Jerky (no carbs), and he will be receiving all four flavors of the world's best beef jerky along with our BBQ Sauces for his meritorious service to the cause Monday night against a froggy Santino Marella. Thanks to the pride of Memphis and his trusty right hand, yours truly wasn't humiliated in the ring again, this time by the annoying man who had a not-so-happy hour with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin a week ago in Los Angeles.
What a huge surprise when Undertaker and Batista returned to Monday Night Raw in Topeka, Kan., to actually team up just days before their Hell in a Cell showdown at the Survivor Series this Sunday. The pair from SmackDown dominated World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch, which one would assume was a humbling experience for the duo. By the way, what is the deal (or not) with Mickie James and Murdoch? I'm just wondering because I am the wondering kind, you know. Hell in a Cell will be a physical, nasty affair this weekend in Miami, perhaps not totally unlike Tom Arnold and Roseanne's honeymoon, or so we heard.
In case there are some brave male souls out there wondering, WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix is not married. That's just a little social update here for you fellas. The Glamazon will be involved in the interpromotional 10 Divas Tag Team Match at the Survivor Series after dispatching a game, but out-womaned, Maria on Raw in the state capitol of Kansas.
Nice to see The Hardys back together on Raw in the Six-Man Tag Team Match, where they were joined by WWE's "Biggest Little Man," Rey Mysterio. As nice as it was to see Matt, the older of the two, and Jeff (no more "Rainbow-haired Warrior," apparently), back together, it is even better seeing them doing their own thing, especially for Intercontinental Champion Jeff, who we get to see on Raw most every Monday night. Someone on the ‘net took me to task over the "Rainbow-haired Warrior" nickname that I hung on Jeff. To that over-analytical individual, I suggest "Lighten up, Francis." (My thanks to the film Stripes.)
Mr. Kennedy, MVP and Finlay sort of resembled a rudderless ship in their six-man tag effort Monday night, but one must say that there is no shortage of talent amongst that trio. Perhaps they need a valet. I hear Britney Spears may be looking for work.
Was Mr. McMahon a moderator or an agitator this past Monday during the face-off between WWE Champion Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels? It sure appeared that the beloved Chairman had a unique agenda Monday night when he acted as the moderator for the Lincoln-Douglas debate, I mean the face-to-face between HBK and Orton. Remember, that there is no Sweet Chin Music for Michaels this Sunday in his WWE Title Match vs. the world's most beautiful man, Randall Orton. Poor Shawn … not really, folks. Michaels can beat most people without using his right foot, trust me.
Jonathan Coachman did NOT look happy being made a buffoon Monday night during the training vignette where Coachman, his supervisor, Raw GM William "Will you look at my handsome head of hair" Regal and Mr. McMahon's illegitimate son, Hornswoggle, was preparing for Horney's "match" (yeah, right) against the massive mastodon, the 7-foot-3, 420-pound Great Khali at the Survivor Series. I think Regal likes humiliating Coachman, and it shows. There is an underlying current there somewhere that may belie ongoing "issues" on the flagship broadcast of WWE.
Well, after Khali destroys Hornswoggle on Sunday, I suppose the little guy can go on all the talk shows and cry, yes openly weep, like so many celebs are doing these days. The Michael Hayes look-a-like, Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman, Ellen DeGeneres, Sir Paul McCartney's soon-to-be ex, among others, have all gotten some interesting mileage out of their tear-filled moments, so why not little Horney??
One of these days something has to give between Triple H and Umaga. It might "give" this Sunday in Miami at Survivor Series in the only Traditional Elimination Match of the pay-pay-view. One thing is for sure, when The Game is in the ring against the Samoan Bulldozer, it will be physical. I like it.
All four announce teams will be on hand Sunday at Survivor Series, and it is my understanding that the Raw, ECW, and SmackDown teams will be stationed at ringside, as usual. That means the opportunity for a train wreck, er, a collaborative effort, among the six talking heads exists. Who will call what matches? Will new announce teams be formed at times for this one night? Will all three teams share in calling some bouts? Does anyone give a damn?!? I think all these possible scenarios help contribute to an unpredictable and unique night of sports-entertainment from WWE on pay-per-view.
My thanks to the many of you who check our "Q" Web site at www.jrsbarbq.com and for those of you who e-mail us and allow yours truly the opportunity to answer your questions. Our BBQ biz is growing at an amazing rate thanks to so many of you. It is greatly appreciated. Did you get a chanced to see the great video that WWE.com featured here on this site not long ago? It was up only for a few days, but it was a cool piece. Perhaps it will be included in the J.R. Superstar page one of these days.
I will hopefully see you this weekend in Lubbock -- or Miami -- or both! Be well, and enjoy Survivor Series.
Be sure to check out J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant at www.jrsbarbq.com.