J.R.'s Superstars of the Week - Cody Rhodes, Paul London & Brian Kendrick
Greetings from under the black, 200X Resistol hat from your resident Oklahoma Sooner football fan and barbecue lover, who is going to experience plenty of both this week, as the college football season kicks off and WWE prepares to produce Monday Night Raw at a rare Sunday event in another college football hotbed, Columbus, Ohio.
Oklahoma hosts North Texas, "Stone Cold's" alma mater, Saturday night, but the Texas Rattlesnake has other obligations and can't make the game. The Sooners are favored by around 40 points or so, which I find excessive. Steve has become a quasi-OU fan, and will be in Norman, Okla., for at least one game this fall, for those of you keeping score at home. Plus, the star of The Condemned, which is out on DVD September 18, loves our COLD beverages.
After convening at our panel's secret meeting place on the outskirts of Parts Unknown, this week's Raw Superstar of the Week has been named. For the first time, our weekly award will be presented to three Superstars. Our panel this week, consisting of Cowboy Bill Watts, Cowboy Bob Ellis, Cowboy Lang, Cowboy Tom Prichard, Cowboy Tony, Cowboy Luttrell, and Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys, has selected the trio of Cody Rhodes, Brian Kendrick and Paul London as this week's honorees. Each young lad will receive some J.R.'s Beef Jerky, barbecue sauce, and a lovely gift pack from Trojan.
Monday night in Boston was a memorable one, to say the least. The huge crowd was lively and fun, and definitely added to the show with their enthusiasm, which always helps and is greatly appreciated by all. Passive crowds need to switch to tennis or some other mundane sport and not take up space at WWE events.
The return to Raw of Triple H was eagerly anticipated and certainly helps cure some of the lack of depth issues that Raw and WWE in general has experienced recently due to injuries. Someone pointed out to me that an Internet writer called Jerry "The King" Lawler and I out for giving Triple H a standing ovation at SummerSlam after The Game beat King Booker, who in the previous two weeks had been a pain in the royal arse to both Jerry and yours truly. That laughable essay must have come on a slow news day, but I know that both King and I were happy to see The Game back on Raw. And we would have given injured referee Jack Doan (Get well, "Hatchethead.") a standing "O" for putting King Booker in his place at SummerSlam. Nonetheless, it is always good to see the "wrestling media" paying attention to the really important things going on in the biz. More importantly, it is great to have a former 10-time World Champion back on the flagship broadcast of WWE. For those that care, Monday's Raw was episode No. 744.
Of course, the biggest story coming out of Raw was the embarrassing and selfish actions of Randy Orton, who took physical liberties with John Cena's father while he was sitting at ringside for Raw in the Cena family's hometown. The disturbing actions of Orton should not go unpunished. But for some reason, I would wager an order of ribs from J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant that Orton gets no more than a slap on the wrist, if that, from Raw General Manager William Regal. Of course, what John Cena does to pretty young Randall with his own hands may be a different story. The bottom line is this: Has Orton done what it takes to get another WWE Championship match against Cena at Unforgiven in Memphis in about three weeks? My guess is, most likely.
I liked the Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy match on Raw until Intercontinental Champion Umaga decided to make his wide-bodied presence felt. Having Hardy on Raw is always a good thing, but it looks as if Jeff is going to have to deal with Umaga one-on-one, whether the "Rainbow-Haired Warrior" wants to or not. At least the opportunity to become Intercontinental Champion exists for Jeffrey in that scenario.
Circle Monday, Sept. 10 on your calendars, as that is the date that Raw emanates from Green Bay, Wis., which is the hometown of Mr. Kennedy and is the night that, apparently, the odds are good that we will all know who Mr. McMahon's illegitimate son is. You don't think … nah, that would be too obvious, wouldn't it?? I expect Kennedy to get a hero's welcome in his hometown.
Speaking of McMahon family issues, the entire McMahon family is coming to Raw for Monday's broadcast with their attorneys in hand, we hear. I expect to see plenty of "dirty laundry" hung out to dry. But one will have to get out the Purell hand sanitizer to deal with the various barristers who might be slithering around catering, which is where I spend my afternoons at the arena more often than not. No jokes please, ladies and gentlemen.
Does Jonathan Coachman remind anyone else of the character Carlton on the old Fresh Prince of Bel Air TV show of yesteryear?
There was quite the cast of characters on Carlito's Cabana Monday night, huh? Mr. McMahon's conquests somewhat resembled a police lineup or some of the usual suspects from HBO's Cathouse, or Hookers After Dark, or whatever the hell that show is called. Man, Carlito's sister had a strong family resemblance, but remember, she's no spitter, or so we are told. I can only image what the McMahon children are going through, much less Linda McMahon, having to hear of the escapades of their darling daddy being exploited on worldwide TV on a weekly basis. The Cleavers this family isn't. Don't expect Disney to be doing any films of the happy life of the McMahons anytime soon, as they make the families who have dotted reality television like the Osbornes look relatively "normal." The Lohans got nothing on the McMahons … in all due respect, of course. (I "love" that one of my firings and a kick in the Spauldings by Mrs. McMahon is being used to promote the McMahon Family Reunion.)
Carlito was punked out by Triple H on his own show, which Mr. McMahon sort of took over. Nonetheless, will Carlito retaliate against The Game or chalk up getting pedigreed as just another DVD moment? Sort of like a bad hair day.
I liked the Six-Man Tag Team Match Monday night, as it brought a great deal of energy to Monday Night Raw. The winners, Rhodes/London/Kendrick had a nice outing, but there is no question that Daivari/ Haas/Benjamin also had their moments. Rhodes is progressing very nicely, especially for a newcomer and the Rock ‘n Roll Express-like London & Kendrick are one of the more exciting teams to participate on Raw in years. All this might lend to the fact that the tag team division might start getting more than an occasional cup of coffee on Raw. The World Tag Team Champions, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch, are really good -- throwback good. But they are having some issues with the charismatic duo of Cryme Tyme … yeah, yeah.
And yes I made a WWE 24/7-oriented reference to Shelton Benjamin's newly bleached-blonde hair being reminiscent of former wrestling great Sweet Daddy Siki of a few generations ago. So what? Is it so wrong to try and remember our past in this business? How do you ever expect to navigate the future if you don't understand and respect the past? If you aren't watching WWE 24/7, then shame on you is all I can say.
Beth Phoenix was especially aggressive Monday night against an out-womaned Maria. The powerful Phoenix might be a candidate someday for a Midol commercial, but her pending title bout with Women's Champion Candice Michelle might well have a happy ending for her, despite Candice's rapid in ring improvements and her great attitude.
I wonder if Snitsky ever flosses.
John Cena, who seems to play more "road games" with hostile fans than not, has quite the agenda to address it would seem. Obviously, there are the Orton issues that must be dealt with decisively, but let's not forget King Booker's involvement in this matter, either. Hey, if Cena wants a tag partner for Monday Night Raw, I am positive that Jerry "The King" Lawler is available to join Cena in facing Orton and Booker. However, knowing our esteemed General Manager as well as I do, I would suggest that IF Cena had the opportunity to get his hands on Orton and Booker on Raw it would most likely be a handicap match. And I am not talking about wheelchair basketball, which is actually pretty damn entertaining.
See you around the campus and Boomer Sooner to all. And remember, eat more "Q."
Check out J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant at www.jrsbarbq.com