J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Randy Orton

J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Randy Orton

Greetings from under the black, 200X Resistol hat from your resident Sooner, who is knee-deep in "Q" and preparing for a trip to the desert for Tucson, Ariz.'s Monday Night Raw. (Would that be the "A" show, the No. 1 show, the flagship show, or the simply "the show up and go to work show"?)

This week's royal panel consisting of Jerry "The King" Lawler, King Boo-kah, King Cobra, Moondog King, King Harley Race, King Kong Bundy, the most recent King of Extreme, and Sgt. Preston of the Yukon's trusty, husky "King" has selected the WWE's "most beautiful male wrestler" (his words not mine), Randy Orton, as Raw Superstar of the Week. Instead of the usual gifts from J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q Restaurant and lovely parting gifts, young Randall will receive a gift certificate for a free facial and a manicure from his favorite salon in his hometown of St. Louis.

I am looking forward to heading west to Tucson this weekend as I will be traveling on Sunday to hook up with my pal and current University of Arizona head football coach, Mike Stoops. Mike and his staff are rebuilding the Wildcats, and the intense Stoops is definitely the man for the task at hand, as Mike is one of the most brilliant football minds I have ever been around. So, if you see yours truly tooling around Tucson Sunday night, be sure and say, "Howdy."

Of course, this Monday marks the one-on-one match between Lawler and Booker, which has been brewing for a few weeks now. If you are a wrestling junkie, do a quick tally of how many championships the two "Kings" have won between them. It is a staggering number, and I can't remember off the top of my head when two men who that have so many titles between them have wrestled. You do the math … the total is amazing. Plus, this should be a heck of a match, as I know Jerry is really looking forward to getting into a Raw ring as a wrestler and not as an announcer this time.

Dang, I meant to ask Santino Marella how the final "Sopranos" episode ended, but I forgot! Did you notice that Lawler started speaking with an Italian accent while he was interacting with Santino, who is obviously smitten with Maria (not that there is anything wrong with being smitten with Maria).

By the way, nice double-arm chicken wing applied by Beth Phoenix Monday night. The move reminded me of Steamboat-Flair from the Superdome in New Orleans in the late ‘80s where Steamboat made "Naitch" submit with the hold.

Uh, Mr. Snitsky, may I suggest a dentist or perhaps a shrink/dentist combo?? Snitsky's wanting or enjoying hurting people is about as scary as matrimony between Britney Spears and Michael Jackson and them procreating.

Is Hacksaw Jim Duggan wrestling in gym shorts? Hey, it works for David Beckham, so I suppose it will work for Ol' Hack.

Do you have an iPhone? Me, neither. But some of my redneck friends do, and many of them don't have a clue as to how all the features work. Michael Vick apparently doesn't need to own dogs, and ol' J.R. doesn't need to own a phone he isn't smart enough to operate.

Boy, did Carlito make a mess on the back porch and then tracked it into the house or what when he spat in Bobby Lashley's face, inadvertently or not, Monday night on Raw? This is akin to Paris Hilton going "back into the recording studio" as it relates to major errors in judgment.

For the record, I thought the Cena-Lashley match, the main event at the Great American Bash, was a damn good athletic contest Sunday in San Jose, Calif., and the crowd was excellent, too.

Cody Rhodes is going to be a great pro, and in time, will win many titles. However, Acting Raw GM Jonathan Coachman and especially, the opportunistic Randy Orton have exploited the young son of the "American Dream." I feel bad for Cody Rhodes, especially knowing that he is a great kid who has the biz in his blood. I feel equally as bad for the Dream, but perhaps University of Texas Longhorn coach Mack Brown will call Horns fan Dusty, and cheer him up during these challenging days, just as OU Coach Bob Stoops did yours truly, when I was exiled from Raw and in the hospital recovering from colon surgery. Those types of calls help, I assure you.

How can one not have enjoyed the Jeff Hardy-Mr. Kennedy match Monday night? Great stuff, to say the least, from two young athletes who are working hard to be the best on the Raw roster. Jeff Hardy is arguably the most popular Superstar on Raw these days on a nightly basis with the majority of our fans.  Mr. Hardy and Mr. Kennedy could headline a PPV in my book, much "Sooner" than later.

Give me some more of the London & Kendrick vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team (self-proclaimed, that is) anytime on Monday night. While it lasted, this was one helluva tag team match in an era where there is no overabundance of great tag team rivalries. Either of these two teams would have a great series of matches with the champs, Cade & Murdoch. I still say the combo of London and Kendrick remind me of the Rock ‘n' Roll Express and the Midnight Rockers, which is high praise. The WGTT should study the Brainbusters in action as "Double A" Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard were a special combo whose style would still work well today, trust me.

Coachman putting Women's Champion Candice Michelle in a match with four other men made little sense to me, even under the guise of "Champions Only," or whatever he tried to sell us. Thank goodness Candice avoided certain disaster, largely due to the efforts of Jeff Hardy and of course, John Cena.  Putting Candice in this unhealthy environment would be like inviting Lindsay Lohan to happy hour.

Speaking of Ms. Lohan, please young lady, stop the insanity, and grow up before you become another unnecessary casualty and a sensational headline that creates more cannon fodder for the Nancy Graces of the world.

I am now officially off my soap box.

Thanks for checking out our column and for dropping by for the occasional visit to www.jrsbarbq.com which is greatly appreciated as well.

See you in Tucson!

BOOMER SOONER!

J.R.

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