J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Randy Orton

J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Randy Orton

Greetings from under the 200X, black Resistol hat from your resident BBQ lovin', I-hope-I-don't-get-drafted-off-Raw Monday night and I already miss The Sopranos while anxiously waiting to see what shoes will drop Monday night during the WWE Draft Okie.
 
Indeed it is a big week ahead as everyone, and I mean everyone, is speculating profusely about who is going where this Monday during the huge, three-hour Monday Night Raw special that starts an hour early and can't get here fast enough for me. Paranoia and uncertainty runs deeper than usual within the ranks of the WWE Superstars and others who could have their addresses changed as of this Monday night. Change can, and often is, a good thing, but no matter who goes where the second guessing on the WWE Draft will run rampant as each pick is made from the sold-out Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, Pa. 
 
Even though the announcers are all apparently eligible to be drafted, it seems that it would not be too bright for a representative to use a draft pick on an announcer and pass up picking a WWE Superstar to add to their stable. That's just my two cents, which is worth about that much. Who knows, perhaps Bobby Heenan, Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse Ventura will get back in the announcing saddle. Stranger things have happened in WWE
 
This week our esteemed panel of guest voters including Paris Hilton, Dallas Page, Houston Nutt, Denver Pyle, Amarillo Slim, Orlando Cepeda and "Texas Dolly" Doyle Brunson have selected Randy "I Never Met a Mirror I Didn't Love" Orton as the Raw Superstar of the Week.
 
Tampa, Fla. was a fun place to broadcast from on Raw Monday night. There sure were plenty of visitors to the event, including the Nasty Boys, Mike Graham, The Cuban Assassin (if that is his real name) and Major League Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs, who does indeed enjoy a cold beverage and is always the life of the party. Tampa was the HQ of Championship Wrestling from Florida back in the day and is one of the established "wrestling cities" in the USA, much like New York City, St. Louis and Minneapolis to just name a few old school home bases for wrestling organizations from many moons ago.
 
Mr. McMahon obviously forgot to take his meds Monday night, which has to be somewhat unsettling to all that come in contact with the Battling Billionaire. Losing the ECW World Title obviously affected WWE's head honcho more than any of us ever would have predicted. Nonetheless, Monday night is Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night on Raw, and I plan on bringing J.R.'s BBQ Sauce and Beef Jerky along with a covered dish as my gesture of appreciation to the boss. Rumor has it Coachman is bringing soft lips to continue the sycophant stylings for his fearless leader.
 
Candice Michelle had her 'tude on Monday night when she teamed with Cryme Tyme to continue her winning ways over WWE Women's Jezebel, I mean Champion, Melina, who has no last name…poor girl.
 
Some sage-like decision maker would be well served to invest in Dykstra (not Lenny but Kenny) and Johnny Nitro Monday night in the WWE Draft. I'd hate to see these young and talented athletes leave Raw, but they both have great upsides from where I sit.
 
Santino "The Milan Miracle" Marella is still the Intercontinental Champion much to the chagrin (I like using that word) of Chris Masters, who allegedly cried like A.J. Soprano after losing yet again to the overachieving Marella.
 
Carlito vs. Torrie Wilson…disgusting. Enough said.
 
Just when you think a team is a couple of thoroughbreds, they prove that they are merely a set of talented jackasses. Cade & Murdoch seemed to have discovered a new attitude and were doing excellent in the ring when they not only won the World Tag Team Championship from The Hardys, but also perpetrated a cowardly attack on them. Wouldn't it be a dang shame if Cade & Murdoch got split up Monday at the WWE Draft? One usually reaps what one sows in this world. Cade & Murdoch give the rest of us "rednecks" a bad name, but they are a heck of a team.
 
John Cena dodged another bullet Monday night against The Great Khali and Umaga much to the chagrin of some selected "Cena Haters." Nice to see John steer the course and keep battling, as he is a class act no matter what a few naysayers may think. As long as John doesn't let those types of things bother him, and he doesn't, he will be just fine. Nonetheless, fans who pay their hard earned cash to attend a WWE event can cheer or boo whomever they choose, which is the way it should be. I officiated high school and college sports for years, and I don't ever recall getting anything but boos, but it did not stop me from doing what I enjoyed, and John Cena enjoys competing.
 
Randy Orton is our reluctant recipient of the Raw Superstar of the Week, which I note with a not so good taste in my mouth. It's like eating wannabe BBQ; it isn't so good. Orton's conduct in recent weeks has been disappointing to many, including yours truly, but one can't deny that the third-generation Superstar has turned heads during his recent raucous roll. Nonetheless, WWE's resident petulant bad boy has physically abused three outstanding competitors in Shawn Michaels, RVD and Ric Flair. Beating someone in the ring is one thing, but going out of one's way to take another's livelihood away from them is pathetic. Orton will not be receiving any J.R.'s BBQ Sauce for this honor, as I think he would more appreciate a mirror so he can look at this favorite person more frequently.
 
See you Monday night from Wilkes-Barre for the bladder challenging three-hour live broadcast of the WWE Draft on Monday Night Raw.

BOOMER SOONER!
J.R.   

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