J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - Mr. Kennedy
Greetings from under the custom made, black hat from the "Baron of BBQ" and from a guy who will never win "Dancing with the Stars" -- as the fans who stayed with us after Monday Night Raw went off the air in Kansas City night will attest. I "heard" this footage was actually on WWE.com, but out of kindness to you I won't link it here, so find it at your own risk. Hopefully, it is buried on this site and is harder to find than an on-camera for the Raw announce team.
This week's Raw Superstar of the Week is Mr. Kennedy … Kennedy after defeating "former" Raw General Manager William Regal in a Loser Gets Fired Match. Kennedy has major league verbal skills (i.e. he likes to talk, not that there is any thing wrong with that) and certainly seems to have ample potential. It will be interesting to see where this significant victory takes Kennedy … Kennedy, but lest we forget that Mr. McMahon isn't too high on the gregarious Green Bay native. Having resided on that same list for some time now, I can assure Mr. Kennedy … Kennedy that being one of The Chairman's "endangered species" isn't as enjoyable as eating slow, hickory smoked ribs (gratuitous plug and a clever segue if I say so myself).
It is hard to believe that another WWE pay-per-view, One Night Stand, is literally just around the corner from beautiful San Diego, which might be the only beautiful thing about this Extreme Rules event that seems to be dotted with potentially brutal and bowling shoe ugly confrontations. One Night Stand's roots go back to the original ECW (E ... C … Dub, E … C … Dub!) and South Philly, so one can be assured that the Sunday, June 1, extravaganza will have plenty of physicality.
Jeff Hardy has been sidetracked from returning to the title chase since his two month absence by the rather large albeit athletic Umaga who the Rainbow-Haired Warrior will meet at One Night Stand (ONS) in a Falls Count Anywhere (but the Raw announce table) Match. This match would be a helluva way to kick off ONS in an exciting and unpredictable manner. Jeff's popularity in WWE is really amazing and seems to be growing. It's much akin to The Great Khali being the "Slim Whitman" of India, in regards to popularity.
The King and I, which would be a great name for a Broadway play or even a film, were pleased to have the lovely vixen Melina join us for commentary Monday night during the Maria vs. Glamazon match. (What in the hell happened to last names around here?) Melina's entrance on our announce table made yours truly sweat BBQ sauce (www.www.jrsbarbq.com) and was one of the more uplifting moments I can recall on Monday Night Raw.
Usually, the announce table is the scene for aggression and not sex appeal, except I do hear that the King and I -- there's that term again -- are really big with the ladies in the manufactured housing world, which is appropriate considering that Ol' J.R. used to live in a single wide.
Melina, come back and visit "Uncle Jerry Flynt" and me any time or just drop by and perform your entrance at your convenience. Hey, we are grateful that it was Melina who dropped by to see us and not Star Jones, formerly of "The View", etc., as she sort of scares Ol' J.R.
It was clear to me that Batista was going to have an advantage over Chris Jericho when the two wrestled (can we say wresting on WWE.com? I will check this out with new WWE.com guru Joey Styles) considering that Batista did not wrestle the night before at Judgment Day and Jericho had one helluva match with Shawn Michaels. Arguably, the HBK vs. Y2J match stole the show at J'Day in Omaha. Nonetheless, I don't like HBK's chances in the Stretcher Match at ONS against The Animal.
Santino Marella satirizing Piper's Pit and its creator "Rodney the Piper" was about as smart of a creation as the upcoming reality show about the Lohans -- in other words, watch out for the train wreck. I really enjoyed meeting Cousin Sal of ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Monday night and it looks as if Cousin Sal and Santino will grapple at some point in the near future. I vote for Sarah Silverman to be the special guest referee.
Who is going to be the next General Manager of Monday Night Raw? Thank goodness I am not in the running and, if elected, choose not to serve. It seems as if Ted "Million Dollar Man" DiBiase and former Smackdown GM Teddy Long might be early candidates. Perhaps Mr. McMahon will devise a GM for the Week contest and see who does the best job at running WWE's flagship broadcast before making a decision. I wouldn't bet on who the winner would be, as I think there most likely will be plenty of solid candidates. Not even my old friend Charles Barkley, who has sworn off wagering, would want to bet on who will be the next General Manager of Monday Night Raw.
The tag team main event was wild and wooly, sort of like my senior trip in 1970 when I was a Westville, Oklahoma Yellowjacket. JBL and Randy Orton were successful in gaining rematches with Cena and Triple H, respectively, and they will be on Mr. Mamajuana and Mr. RKO's terms at One Night Stand. Sounds like Slobber-Knocker time to me come June 1 for those four.
I'm anxious to head to the Rocky Mountains this Monday in front of a hot, sold out crowd in Denver for Monday Night Raw. Our fans always help a good broadcast become great with their enthusiasm and passion. Gotta love it!