J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - John Cena

J.R.'s Superstar of the Week - John Cena
Greetings from under the 200X, black Resistol hat from your favorite Sooner BBQ enthusiast! I’m just back from Cambridge, Mass after lecturing at MIT, which was a blast. Imagine that, an eastern Oklahoma redneck having the opportunity to speak at MIT. Only in WWE my friends, only in WWE!
My thanks to MIT’s Sam Ford for taking such good care of me while I was in Cambridge; for his efforts, Mr. Ford will receive lovely parting gifts from www.jrsbarbq.com.  
In my eyes, Chris Benoit is as good as they come in the squared circle, so anyone who can make the United States Champion tap out is certainly meritorious of being named as the prestigious WWE Superstar of the Week. That means that the WWE Champion and one-half of the World Tag Champions, John Cena, is the Raw Superstar of the Week. We will have more on the controversial Cena momentarily after a few shameless plugs and some random thoughts.
So SmackDown’s JBL came to Raw to talk (imagine that) and not to fight HBK. I would have soaked Shawn’s boots in J.R.’s BBQ Sauce if I would have known the vocal Texas native would have so much to say and would end up with a healthy dose of Sweet Chin Music.
Shawn was passionate and adamant about winning the WWE Title at WrestleMania when conversing with JBL. I feel that at this stage of the 20-year vet’s career, winning the crown jewel of the WWE, the WWE Title, at this particular point in time would be the most glorious moment in HBK’s illustrious career.
The Master Lock has finally been broken, by Bobby Lashley...so who won the office pool? Speaking of office pools, my March Madness/NCAA Basketball Tournament bracket has been beaten up like a government mule.
Edge is a lucky, albeit talented, man to be able to come in the back door and win the Last Chance Battle Royal to regain his Money in the Bank Ladder Match spot back for WrestleMania 23. Edge is the kind of man who could fall into a vat of manure and come out smelling like a rose. I feel bad for Ric Flair, who seems to be on the outside of WrestleMania looking in. But “Naitch” is not alone as many Superstars seemingly will not be on the WWE’s showcase event.
If they ever cast for the role of Floyd the Barber in an Andy Griffith Show movie, I don’t think Mr. McMahon has a chance to play lovable Floyd Lawson, the town barber of Mayberry, unless the film would be directed by John Carpenter or Stephen King. Nonetheless, old Eugene got one nasty looking “trim” on Raw Monday night from the Chairman of WWE. Could “The Donald” be next? I am just curious as to what will be done with the hair of whoever gets shaved bald at WrestleMania. I would suggest that the locks would fetch a pretty penny on WWE.com. I may have just given the King an idea he can monetize.  
Let me get this straight. Melina doesn’t like any of the WWE Divas who have posed for Playboy because Melina says that is “beneath her,” however she posed for WWE.com in nothing but body paint. Candice inferred that Melina has spent more time on her back than Sleeping Beauty, which is exactly the way rumors get started. Mick Foley writes a fair amount of positive things about Melina in his new book, The Hardcore Diaries, which makes me believe even stronger that Mick has taken one too many stiff chair shots to see the Melina most everyone else does. Jezebel, Barracuda, take your pick.
Give it up to my partner and WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler for taking a bullet from The Great Khali for Ashley. Khali seemingly has few redeeming social skills, but may well get his large arse beat when he faces Kane at WrestleMania in what I expect to be a physical, bowling shoe ugly confrontation.
Speaking of the Hall of Fame, my sincere congrats go out to the Wild Samoans and The Original Sheik for being announced as the newest entrants to this year’s sparkling class of deserving individuals. I wish the business today had more competitors like these three, as they were credits to the business, took their in-ring work very seriously and stood the test of time.
It sure seems that the third-ever Money in the Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania is shaping up to be one of the most eagerly anticipated contests we will feature on April 1. Eight uniquely talented individuals are pitted against each other, and what are the odds that Edge will be able to win this for the second time and to keep his personal undefeated streak at WrestleMania alive? This match also features brother vs. brother as both Hardys are in the match, not to mention ECW’s C.M. Punk, who could not only shock the world but position himself as a big time WWE hand by winning at WrestleMania. I wonder which announce team will handle this multi-branded contest.
I know you probably take what I say about “Stone Cold” Steve Austin with a grain of salt because we are such good friends, and I may not always be totally objective when speaking of the “Texas Rattlesnake.” However, I have seen an advance copy of WWE Films’ next movie The Condemned starring Stone Cold; I really enjoyed it, and that’s the Boomer Sooner truth. The evil mastermind of the competition reminds me of a Mr. McMahon-like character who hatches an ingenious plan to shock the world in the most unique fight for survival I have ever seen on film.
John Cena beating Chris Benoit is an accomplishment, and for Cena to make The Rabid Wolverine tap is even more significant. Cena & HBK being forced to team this Monday from a sold-out Allstate Arena in Chicago (which is one of the great places in the world to enjoy WWE) against SmackDown’s Undertaker & Batista should equate to one of the best main events on Raw in ages. Plus, the partners in this tag team main event will be facing each other at WrestleMania for World Championships.  I don’t have, as my favorite group The Eagles would sing, a “peaceful, easy feeling” about this match; something has to give, and my senses tell me that all Hell will break loose in Chicago and that this match will have bigger implications on WrestleMania than many of us may think.
The last Raw prior to WrestleMania 23 sets in motion a week of activities leading up to the proverbial “Granddaddy of them all.” I fully expect this Monday’s show to be extraordinary and one none of us will soon forget. Chicago rocks, especially when the Allstate Arena is sold out (as it has been for weeks), so this Monday’s all important in-arena atmosphere will be motivating for all of us and no doubt help make this broadcast kick behind. I hope to see you there.
Boomer Sooner!

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