Greetings from under the black, 200X Resistol hat from your resident BBQ lovin’ Okie. I’m anxious to travel to Texas this weekend, first for the Royal Rumble in San Antonio and then on to Dallas for Monday Night Raw. Texas is a state rich in wrestling tradition and had four viable wrestling territories operating at one time. Plus, Texas has produced some of the business’ biggest stars, many that I have known personally, including the incomparable Texas Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Traveling to Texas for WWE events is not only nostalgic, but also exhilarating because of the passion of the fans of the Longhorn state. This should be a fun weekend, as the Road to WrestleMania gets officially underway, with the Royal Rumble Match winner getting a main event berth at WrestleMania on April 1 at Ford Field in Detroit. Plus, I get to enjoy some great Mexican food in San Antonio and some BBQ in Dallas. How good is that?

Monday’s Raw from Lafayette, La. was another enjoyable night for yours truly; primarily because of an awesome main event between HBK and Edge, but also for the contributions made by the fans in attendance in the Cajundome. Michaels had the crowd in Lafayette in the palm of his hand, much akin to the glory days of Mid-South Wrestling where WWE Hall of Famer The Junkyard Dog was the main man.

As great as HBK was in the Street Fight main event, to the winners go the spoils. In this case, that’s the Raw Superstar of the Week, so that makes Edge the winner of this week’s coveted award in a close vote of this week’s international panelists including Mr. Fuji, Little Tokyo, and The Jumping Bomb Angels. Yes, this column reaches all corners of the world and has international appeal, which is why this space is the most read piece of business on the Raw website. Just think of how many people would read this infotainment if it were ever promoted on the home page of this esteemed website.

Before we get too far into this week’s business, and because I was never contacted by WWE about my feelings on the recent passing of 45-year-old Bam Bam Bigelow, I simply wanted to wish my condolences to Bam Bam’s family and friends. The man with the tattooed skull was arguably one of the top five “big men” I ever saw in the ring. The near 400-pounder could do moonsaults and other extraordinary maneuvers men half his size were challenged to execute. I wrote of some of my memories of Scott “Bam Bam” Bigelow on my website, which you can check out if you choose. 

From my perspective at ringside, Monday’s Raw was one of the more exciting broadcasts in quite some time, largely because of the Street Fight Main Event. The ratings for the broadcast were stronger than the late Pat O’Connor’s potent and ever-present garlic breath, which will probably make Monday Night Raw the No. 1 show on all of cable television again for the week. Are there more reasons you would like to have as proof that Raw is and will always be the flagship broadcast of WWE? When the other programs under the WWE umbrella get north of the 700 episode mark, then we can talk seriously about who is the top television vehicle in the WWE family of programs. And for the record, I watch SmackDown and ECW regularly and am a fan of both brands.

 
By the way, do you know why the HBK/Edge match was so emotionally charged Monday Night? It’s because they have a clear cut personal issue that is being exploited on the live show. Personal issues are what drew many to the product in the first place. It’s obvious that HBK and Edge have significant chemistry, and for Edge to truly be the top hand in the business at some point, he must prove that he is the better man than the multi-talented future Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels.

Jeff Hardy, who is beginning to resemble a multi-colored work of abstract art, had a rather quick victory over Joey Mercury from SmackDown that sort of surprised me. Not that Jeff won the match, but that he did it so quickly. Maybe he had a plane to catch. I am looking forward to The Hardys vs. MNM this Sunday at the Rumble, which has the potential of being a show stealer. What is the over/under on Melina’s “primal screams,” or how many times yours truly will be asked if I have ever made a woman scream like that? I have, but I can’t talk about it here; however, if you call my 1-900 number I will explain in detail.

Wait a minute, I just had a flash back to another era: the pre-internet era of the biz. Ah, things were so simple then. Then, some of the wrestlers themselves spread most of the gossip and it didn’t go far. Now the same thing often times occurs and it goes global. That’s what I call progress. 

Mr. McMahon certainly seems obsessed for with “The Donald” for some reason. I can’t relate to the issues of rich people, but I dreamed of being one once. Where is this billionaire issue going? When will we know the level of consternation of the beloved WWE Chairman towards Trump? Will Trump be able to manage his problems with The Chairman as well as “The Donald” does his comb over?  Will Ivanka declare war on Shane? Stay tuned. Regarding the McMahon/Trump issue, I am as confused as Anne Heche is about her relationships, but I am anxious to see where it goes.  Nancy Grace will be all over this story without fail.

Isn’t that Super Crazy quite the wordsmith? I can already hear crowds with dueling chants. “SUPER!” “CRAZY!” “SUPER!” “CRAZY!” Did you know that the luchador is both super AND crazy?  El Grande Loco my amigos.

How would Maria do as a guest host on “The View”? Jovial Rosie might take a liking to the lovely Maria, and yes, for those of you who are curious and need to know, Maria does have her GED. Maria hosts the “Kiss Cam” at Raw events and her attire, or lack thereof, always gets a rise out of many fans. Even “The King” would pay retail to see Maria in Playboy Magazine some day and my royal partner is quite a coupon clipper. Not that there is any thing wrong with that.

The Last Man Standing stipulation that Umaga’s handler Estrada got to name (yeah, that’s fair) for the WWE Title bout this Sunday at the Royal Rumble has done John Cena no favors. Cena is still sore from Monday, but dodged a bullet when it comes to sustaining a serious injury when the 400-pounder came off the top rope and splashed him through a table. I have witnessed gentler car wrecks.

“Hormones Gone Wild” could have been the subtitle of the Diva tag team match Monday night. Mickie James and Candice beat Victoria and Melina when Candice scored the upset on Victoria. I never saw that one coming. “The King” was angry he was not appointed the special referee, where he was hoping he would be the victim of a “dog pile.”

Kenny “Don’t call me Lenny” Dykstra got the bargain basement victory via a tights pull over Carlito Monday night. Kenny is 20 years old (or so we are reminded seemingly every week) but my question is when is this guy’s birthday? Kenny has a great upside without question and has lost the headband, thank goodness, but I must say that if Kenny ever breaks his nose he could be out for months. Kenny’s “beak” puts him in Flair’s league. And remember kids, “2007 is the year of Kenny Dykstra.”

Speaking of Ric Flair, “The Naitch” will be attending the Super Bowl as a guest of the Chicago Bears, who are loaded with WWE fans AND former OU Sooners. Flair was on the Bears’ sideline last Sunday for the Chicago win over a turnover prone New Orleans Saints.

While I am thinking about it, be sure and check out The Rock’s “Gridiron Gang” on DVD. It is a great film and good stuff for the entire family. By the way, Stone Cold and The Great One are big fans of J.R.’s BBQ Sauce, which makes me feel good. 

Torrie Wilson’s year can be any one she chooses. “DAMN!”

I think I am going to throw my name in the hat to be a benefactor to James Brown’s will. “I feel good!”

Again, what an awesome match between HBK and Edge Monday Night! Edge had arguably the best 12-month period in 2006 of anyone in the entire WWE, and it looks as if HBK has found the intangible again that makes him one of the two or three best in-ring performers in the world for my money. It’s too bad a bruised Randy Orton had to interfere and cost HBK the contest Monday. I found it interesting that Orton dumped Edge over the top rope on Raw, which could be a sign of things to come Sunday night in San Antonio.

Going into the Rumble match there are certainly many more questions than answers, which is a good thing from my perspective. HBK and Undertaker could be considered two of the favorites to win the Rumble Match, but usually someone that I least expect ends up winning. Don’t count out RVD or The Great Khali, who will be in his first Rumble match, which could cost the 7-foot-3 inch, 420-pound ruggedly handsome freak of nature from India. 

There is still no word on who will broadcast the Rumble Match, which I watched at home last year while healing from colon surgery with my own lovely Nurse Slobberknockers at my side. It might be all three announce teams in their entirety, which could be a real adventure (or train wreck) with six people trying to contribute while showing loyalty to their individual brands and dispensing timely albeit crude insults to each other. If the powers that be do decide to use all three English-speaking announce teams, I hope they make sure to separate Tazz and JBL, who appear to have not endeared themselves to each other. But then again…

Have a great weekend with WWE and enjoy the 20th annual Royal Rumble, a match that was created by WWE Hall of Famer Pat Patterson for you trivia buffs. 

BOOMER SOONER!

J.R.