Love's Crazy 8: WWE's looniest acts of love
April 25, 2012
In Greek literature, Helen’s was the face that launched one thousand ships and sent countries to war. In WWE lore, will AJ's be the face that cost a thousand championships?
While that might be a slight exaggeration, AJ’s behavior in recent months in regards to Daniel Bryan has left the WWE Universe scratching its collective head. However, it is the love-struck Diva's actions since Daniel Bryan told her that he "wished she was never born" that have taken things to a scary new level.
Just ask Natalya.
On the April 20 episode of SmackDown, after suffering Bryan's verbal assault, the normally reserved and kind-hearted AJ completely lost it on the third-generation Diva ( WATCH | PHOTOS). Just one week later on SmackDown, AJ uncharacteristically lashed out at Kaitlyn, slapping her best friend for making disparaging remarks about Bryan ( WATCH).
The beauty who was very publicly burned by Bryan seems to be popping up in all the wrong places ... for seemingly all the wrong reasons.
But AJ’s certainly not alone when it comes to acts of lovelorn desperation, as WWE has a long — and some would say mad — history of Superstars and Divas who have gone to the "Extreme" for the ones they’ve loved.
The Curious Case of Zack and Eve
They say that love is blind, but in reality, sometimes love just makes you blind.
Take Zack Ryder and his on-again, off-again "relationship" with his Diva crush, Eve. While it’s obvious that Long Island Iced-Z was smitten by the exceedingly beautiful Diva, those feelings were certainly never reciprocated.
But Ryder just couldn’t seem to take a hint.
Perhaps Zack has a very short memory, or maybe he was just too far gone to ever return to a semblance of sanity. Either way, Eve played Ryder for months by flaunting her goods and denying Ryder a taste, making Long Island Iced-Z wait forever on a love that was never meant to be.
The rocky relationship — if you can even call it that — culminated in a WrestleMania Moment that Long Island Iced-Z would like to forget. Ryder, a flag-waving member of Team Teddy, had Miz lined up for a Broski Boot when Eve provided just the right amount of distraction to allow The Awesome One to turn the tables on Ryder.
Eve’s unwelcome appearance cost Team Teddy the match, and it cost Teddy Long his job as General Manager of SmackDown.
But Eve wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot. Adding insult to injury, the deceitful Diva then delivered a crushing, final blow to Ryder. Eve’s well-aimed kick landed true, and Ryder crumpled faster than a Dudley through a table.
Hornswoggle Professes his (Miss) Piggy Love
Sharon Osbourne, Brad Paisley, Ryan Seacrest and Hornswoggle: What do they all have in common? Each one of them has been karate-chopped by Miss Piggy! When The Muppets invaded Monday Night Raw SuperShow on Oct. 31, 2011, Hornswoggle joined that elite club during an unforgettable encounter with The Muppets' own resident Diva.
An unabashed fan, 'Swoggle was beside himself when he found out that Miss Piggy would be backstage during the show. Unable to contain his excitement, the little leprechaun burst in on Piggy while she was in the middle of sharing a special moment with John Morrison's abs.
But Hornswoggle simply couldn’t wait to show the porky puppet his tattoo tribute to her on his ankle ( PHOTOS). Initially flattered, Piggy turned sour on the little guy in a heartbeat when 'Swoggle dipped down to steal a kiss. Piggy responded by nailing the Superstar with a karate chop he won’t soon forget.
Our take on the incident? If you're gonna get slugged by anyone, it might as well be Miss Piggy.
Booker T Faces his Fear
The Boogeyman was, without question, one of the most terrifying and, frankly, disgusting Superstars in WWE history. So when he came a ‘knocking, other Superstars did their best to steer clear. But in 2005, Boogeyman — who had a penchant for stalking the women in WWE — set his (creepy) sights on Booker T’s beautiful wife, Sharmell.
Terrorizing her at every turn, Boogeyman’s haunting presence proved too great when, in a scene straight out of a horror movie, the bizarre newcomer emerged from underneath the ring and kidnapped Sharmell. With his wife’s well-being at stake, a visibly shaken Booker T had to overcome his fears as he followed a horrific trail of worms all over the arena to find where his wife was being held captive. Booker had to come face-to-face with his fears in order to rescue his wife, and he did just that.
While The Boogeyman may have bested Booker — and locked lips with Sharmell in what had to be the most disgusting kiss in WWE history — in a 2-on-1 Match at WrestleMania 22, their tale does have a happy ending.
Like all great love stories, this one ends with a restraining order.
Shortly after Booker was beaten by The Boogeyman on The Grandest Stage of Them All, he and Sharmell filed for a restraining order to make sure their Show of Shows foe would leave them alone for good.
A Man and His Mop
You know what they say — there’s no greater love than that between a man and his mop.
And, while not one single person in recorded history has ever actually said that, try telling Perry Saturn that mop love isn’t the greatest love of all.
In 2001, after being on the receiving end of one too many beatings by the APA and Raven, Saturn started acting a bit strange. What started out innocuous enough turned downright bizarre when the Superstar began randomly uttering the phrase, "You’re welcome" at totally inappropriate moments.
Things would only get weirder from there. In June, Saturn started palling around with his new "friend," Moppy Q. McMopperson, who was … get ready for it … a janitor’s mop he found under the ring.
"Moppy," as it — uh, "she"? — became affectionately known, was Saturn’s closest friend. The Superstar and the mop were inseparable, and it became obvious that there was romance in the air. Saturn was over the moon, smitten by the inanimate object of his affection.
The hardcore Superstar’s strange love was so over-the-top that he actually spurned the advances of his manager — the drop-dead gorgeous Diva, Terri Runnels — in favor of Moppy.
And if that’s not crazy in love, then we don’t know what is.
For a Woman: 'Macho Man' Turns on Hulk Hogan
Some women are worth fighting over.
To millions of members of the WWE Universe, Miss Elizabeth was the epitome of grace, class and beauty. To "Macho Man" Randy Savage, she was worth betraying his best friend over.
In 1988, just that scenario played out between legendary "The Mega Powers," Savage and Hulk Hogan. To the dismay of the WWE Universe, one of the most popular and dominant teams of all time came crashing down when Savage thought Hogan was becoming too friendly with Miss Elizabeth.
After "Macho Man" rescued Hogan from a further beating at the hands of Akeem and Big Boss Man, Elizabeth helped a visibly injured Hulkster to the back. Savage didn’t like the personal attention being paid to his buddy, and the tension between the two began to build.
Things came to a head during the infamous events of the Feb. 3 episode of The Main Event. In their match against Akeem and Big Boss Man, Savage was thrown to ringside where he crashed into Elizabeth. Concerned for her well-being, Hogan carried her backstage, thus leaving Savage alone in the ring against his two gigantic opponents. When Hogan returned, Savage snapped, turning on his friend and ending their partnership.
But the battle didn't end there, as Savage berated Hogan backstage for his "jealous eyes," leading to a brawl while Elizabeth looked on in tears.
Soon after, the former partners would face off with the WWE Championship on the line at WrestleMania V. Billed as the pay-per-view when the "Mega Powers explode," that year’s Show of Shows served as a showcase of the wreckage of a friendship.
Sherri's Sensational Ruse
Before Shawn Michaels locked horns with "The Model" Rick Martel at SummerSlam 1992, the pay-per-view's color commentator, future WWE Hall of Famer Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, made an eloquent prediction. He said "it’s obvious to me that someone is going to be broken in love."
While it may not have happened all that often, that night, Heenan proved to be prescient with his match analysis.
In the early 1990s, there were few sights as iconic as Shawn Michaels and Sensational Sherri walking down the ramp to a WWE ring together. And, while Sherri may have entered Wembley Stadium in London, England, with a full-size mirror focused squarely on HBK, it’s safe to say that her eyes were focused elsewhere.
Leading up to SummerSlam, Sherri had shared come hither glances with "The Model," and the two even exchanged winks, which worked to raise the ire of HBK.
With both men vying for the affection of Sherri, Michaels and Martel "faced off" in a match with one of the strangest stipulations in SummerSlam’s history — at Sherri’s behest, neither competitor could hit the other in the face.
Both Michaels and Martel did their best to play by that rule (while bending as many other rules as they possibly could), but when Michaels slapped Martel in the face, “The Model” exchanged the favor.
Then things got really weird.
Sherri, standing on the apron, needed some way to get the attention of her would-be suitors. The first thing that came to her mind? In front of the more than 80,000 in attendance, Sherri literally hit the deck and "fainted" on the apron.
The action ground to a halt as Michaels and “The Model” fought over who would help her back to her feet. The match itself may have ended with a double count-out, but the fighting didn’t stop when the bell rang.
And neither did Sherri’s ruse.
Keeping an eye on the two competitors vying for her affection, the legendary Diva would "wake up" and "faint" again, depending on who was watching.
Daddy's Little Girl?
It was a moment that lives on in Attitude Era infamy.
Mr. McMahon stood over his felled opponent and son-in-law, Triple H, sledgehammer raised over his head and primed to finish off The Game.
An electric buzz ran through the WWE Universe as the entire arena waited for what would surely be the end of a heated, ugly rivalry that had raged for months after Mr. McMahon cost Triple H the title in a match against Big Show that led to The Game’s impromptu wedding of The Billion Dollar Princess, Stephanie McMahon.
Enter Stephanie McMahon, who dashed into the ring and pleaded with her father to deliver her own revenge to Triple H in the form of a crushing blow. Broken and battered and staggering, Mr. McMahon acquiesced, handing over the weapon to his daughter.
Stephanie then reared back as Triple H waved his arms frantically in the corner, begging his new, seemingly ill-gotten "bride" to back off. Stephanie faltered for just a moment, letting her guard down and allowing The Cerebral Assassin to climb to his feet and take possession of the sledgehammer.
Stephanie’s face was a mask of horror as Triple H battered Mr. McMahon with the weapon, knocking his father-in-law out cold on the mat. After standing over his bosses’ prone body to get the pinfall, Triple H raised his hands high in celebration as Stephanie frantically attended to her injured dad.
For a moment, it appeared that Triple H was lining Stephanie up to join Mr. McMahon on the canvas, but when Stephanie turned around to catch The Game in the act, Triple H dropped the sledgehammer.
And then Stephanie dropped a hammer of her own on the WWE Universe.
With a hint of madness in her eyes, and a crooked smile on her face, Stephanie embraced The Game, proving that the conniving couple was in cahoots against Mr. McMahon all along.
Matt Hardy Loves Lita Loves Edge
Sigmund Freud once said, "One is very crazy when in love."
Never in the history of WWE has this quote been more appropriate than during the heated days of the infamous love triangle of Matt Hardy, Lita and Edge.
A sordid tale worthy of a daytime soap opera, the fallout from their actions is still a heated topic of discussion to this day.
After years of dating, Matt Hardy and Lita split up when it was revealed that Lita had cheated on him with Edge. What resulted was one of the ugliest and most public breakups ever, culminating in a Loser Leaves Raw Ladder Match.
Over the course of their bitter rivalry, Hardy and Edge traded barbs and blows, delivering scathing interviews that demonstrated just how raw Hardy’s wounds were. For his part, The Rated-R Superstar fired back with everything he had, and the two were put on an unavidable collision course.
When the time finally came for their epic showdown, emotions were at an all-time high. The Ladder Match is their forte, and Matt and Edge did not disappoint in delivering a battle fitting of the drama that preceded it.
At the critical moment of their epic battle, Hardy had Edge down for the count and a clear path to the ladder and the black briefcase dangling above it. But Lita once again meddled in Hardy’s affairs, tying her former flame up in the ropes and leaving him helpless as he watched Edge climb the ladder and secure the briefcase.
When the bell rang, Jerry "The King" Lawler summed it up perfectly: "She took Matt Hardy’s dreams of a future family away, and now she’s taken his career."