Present, Accounted For

Present, Accounted For

Let's face it: In the arena of romance, the right gift can propel a relationship into the stratosphere, while a lame present can torpedo it faster than you can say "toaster oven."

With Vickie Guerrero's birthday this week, her fiancé, Edge, has his work cut out for him. In the interest of conjugal harmony, would like to offer the Ultimate Opportunist a few gift ideas for his "Vickie-kins."

Rated-R Romance
Not that the Rated-R Superstar needs any tips in the bedroom, but let's face it, you can never toss too much spice into the amorous gumbo. With that in mind, we recommend a splash of massage oil, a hint of scented candles and possibly an adult-themed DVD that hints at, oh, let's just call them "forbidden inter-office escapades."

Eternally Ever After
Having invoked the wrath of The Undertaker, Edge may want to invest in the ultimate romantic (yet creepy) commitment—His and Her burial plots. After all, nothing says "I'll be with you forever" quite like having your rotting corpse next to that of your loved one's for all eternity.

Up, Up and Away
A little wine, a little cheese and a lot of hot air. No, not the kind of verbal nonsense emitted by the Ultimate Opportunist himself, but the kind used to power a hot-air balloon. The lofty outing would certainly take his fiancee's breath away, while allowing Edge the opportunity, should he have any regrets, to stage an unfortunate "accident" involving his betrothed. Look out below!

Thirds, Anyone?
It's said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, turnabout is fair play, right? After all, what woman can resist a man who satisfies her hunger? We recommend that Edge whip up a short list of Vickie's Mexican faves: enchiladas, tamales, burritos, chimichangas, tacos, chile rellenos, tostadas, fajitas, tortillas… The list (and the heartburn) goes on!

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