Royal Reception

Royal Reception

UNITED KINGDOM -- Like the head of foam on a freshly-poured pint of Bass Ale, William Regal appeared positively bubbly at having returned to his native England as part of Monday Night Raw. 


"It's tremendous, absolutely wonderful to be here," boasted the Raw General Manager, as he surveyed the capacity crowd packing into the Birmingham National Indoor Arena. "The people love me."


Judging from the rousing reception he enjoyed Monday night, Regal may not be far off the mark. The GM returned the genial feelings after WWE Champion Randy Orton labeled his fellow countrymen "rogues." Regal punished the Legend Killer by forcing him to compete in three matches against his three possible Cyber Sunday opponents, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels.


Despite his benevolent appearance, Regal still couldn't manage to keep his inflated sense of entitlement in check. The GM believes that people are especially drawn to him now that he wields a great deal of power.


"I'm on level with the Queen [Elizabeth] and George Michael," Regal said without an ounce of humility. "I walk down the street and you can see people fainting — they've never seen such greatness."


While Regal delighted in the recognition he received on the streets of London's West End, he also reveled in his beloved English cuisine, savoring delicacies such as blood pudding and mushy peas.


"The food is far better here in England — very, very nice," said Regal, a satisfied grin sliding across his face.


The culinary "surprises" found in kitchens across the country aren't the only aspects of British life for which Regal still yearns.


"I'm around normal people for a change," said the GM. "I can actually speak at full speed."


Does Regal realize that his constant verbal jabs at Americans might reinforce the notion with some Raw fans that he's a miserable sod?


"I actually think Americans are warming to me after all these years, slowly but surely," explained Regal. "I mean, I'm a lovable kind of guy. It just comes out of my pores."


Indeed it does, Mr. Regal. Indeed it does.


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