Before the evening's Six-Man Tag Team Match in Malaga, Spain, The "Yep!" Movement assess and critique The Big Dog's ring entrance.05/15/2018 - 10:45
Checkmate: Booker beats Lawler in battle of kings
BUFFALO, N.Y. -- At first, it didn't look like a kingly battle between monarchs. It looked more like a Pier 6 brawl on Raw between WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler and King Booker, both fighting for the right to be crowned by the loser next week in the mecca of sports-entertainment, Madison Square Garden.
The Memphis legend's famous powerful punches gave the six-time World Champion all he could handle. Unfortunately, Queen Sharmell proved to be a royal pain in Lawler's neck, distracting The King long enough to allow Booker to deliver his patented Scissors Kick and score the crowning pinfall. Watch the video...
By stipulation, Lawler will have to swallow his pride and begrudgingly place a crown upon King Booker's head in a Royal Coronation ceremony next Monday on Raw. Prior to the match, Booker again berated SummerSlam's returning "King of Kings," Triple H, as a pretender to the throne.
Also returning was WWE's Chairman of the Board, Mr. McMahon, who made the night a memorable one. To Acting General Manager Jonathan Coachman's dismay, Mr. McMahon ordered a company-wide Battle Royal to determine a new Raw commissioner, which was won by former WWE Commissioner William Regal.
Regal faked an injury to slip outside the ring early in the Battle Royal, then snuck in as Sandman thought he won the match and clobbered the ECW Original to earn the win. Mr. McMahon cold-comforted Coachman after the match by naming him Regal's new Executive Assistant. Watch the video...
Throughout the night, Mr. McMahon launched tirades against the United States Congress, the media, his family members and WWE Superstars who showed no sympathy for the Chairman, who admitted to faking his own death months ago to see who really appreciated him. He swore to become a better man, and to reunite his family that had been splintered by the limo explosion.
McMahon's psyche further splintered as he was informed that he was the subject of an Internal Revenue Service audit. Capping off the Chairman's night of bad karma was news of a paternity suit against him, claiming that he sired an illegitimate child -- another potential heir to the McMahon empire. Watch the video...
In other Raw action, Carlito invited WWE Champion John Cena into "Carlito's Cabana" for an interview, but The Champ took over, making the show his own. After conducting an interview with himself and delivering a Letterman-esque Top 3 list, he pummeled the Caribbean Superstar who defeated him the week before and spit apple chunks in his face. Cena's SummerSlam opponent, Randy Orton, chose the moment to try a sneak attack on The Champ, but Cena fended him off, then lifted Carlito up for the FU.
New Raw GM William Regal intervened and ordered Carlito and Orton to decide between themselves who would face Cena in Raw's main event. But, since Regal didn't specify it had to be them specifically, the cunning pair chose the Intercontinental Champion, Umaga, to face Cena in a non-title match, to the delight of the new GM.
During the match between the two champions, Orton and Carlito tried to attack Cena, but made the mistake of provoking the Samoan Bulldozer in the process, who threw the pair from the ring. GM Regal then announced that Carlito and Orton would face Cena and Umaga in an epic tag-team match on Raw next Monday at Madison Square Garden. Watch the video...
Regal's other action for the evening was to re-create the popular American game show, The Dating Game, and live out his childhood dream to be a game show host. WWE Diva Maria had the opportunity to choose between "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Ron Simmons, and Santino Marella.
Despite Marella's pleadings and coercion, Maria chose Simmons to the delight of the HSBC Arena crowd. Marella demanded that Maria come with him, but ran away scared when Umaga made his way to the ring for the next match.
Pop star wannabe Jillian Hall defeated Mickie James with an impressive show of power. But prior to her match, Jillian Hall mocked Raw ring announcer Lilian Garcia, who has a new album coming out this fall.
Despite the crowd's pleas to hear Lilian preview a track from her CD, Jillian went on to give her ear-splitting rendition of a Britney Spears song, as Lilian winced in the corner of the ring. After Hall's win, the pop star stared down the Raw ring announcer, who stared back uneasily from ringside.
Mr. Kennedy came to the ring to boast about his defeat of the Dominator, Bobby Lashley, who is undergoing surgery Tuesday on his injured shoulder. He claimed that Lashley could still hear "KENNEDYYYYYYY" ringing in his ears after the loss, and reiterated his claim that he should be the No. 1 contender for the WWE Championship.
Continuing his path of rage Monday night, Raw's deranged giant, Snitsky, defeated Rory McAllister of The Highlanders. In just under a minute, Snitsky pumphandle-slammed Rory to the mat and scored the pinfall.