The Truth about Hornswoggle, According to JBL
PHOENIX -- Is Hornswoggle not the little grape sired by Mr. McMahon's grapefruits? Is he really the feisty long-lost son of the "man who loves to fight," Finlay?
These stunning allegations came from John "Bradshaw" Layfield after Mr. McMahon demanded that he apologize for decimating Hornswoggle last week on Raw. The Chairman sheepishly admitted to the U.S. Airways Center crowd he "made a mistake" leaving his alleged illegitimate son to the brutal machinations of JBL in a steel cage while he attempted to teach his son a lesson in tough love.
When McMahon ordered JBL, the self-made millionaire made a revelation that hushed our fans.
"I'm sorry," JBL responded. "I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner!"
With the Chairman flabbergasted and enraged, JBL told McMahon that the little leprechaun might not be who he seems.
"I have it on very good advice that Hornswoggle is not your son," JBL claimed.
JBL claimed that Hornswoggle's alleged ruse was a conspiracy that reached into the highest levels of WWE and possibly included McMahon's own family.
As the Chairman struggled with the news, the "wrestling god" also claimed that Hornswoggle's protector, Finlay, knew all along that the leprechaun was not a McMahon -- but his own son.
"Hornswoggle is Finlay's son," JBL claimed. "Hornswoggle had no idea … but Finlay knew the whole time."
Mr. McMahon was stunned, but told JBL he'd face a worse beating if he's lying about Hornswoggle. But the brash millionaire promised to produce documentation that would back up his claims.
"[Finlay's] Irish eyes aren't smiling. … They are guilty as hell," JBL said. "And the next time Finlay's in a WWE ring -- your ring -- I'm going to make him admit it." Video
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