Closing arguments

Closing arguments

There are but mere hours left to cast your votes for Cyber Sunday, where you will decide match opponents and stipulations. Foremost to World Heavyweight Champion Batista and his opponent, Undertaker, you will decide who will referee their title bout -- JBL, Mick Foley or "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

With time quickly ticking away, wanted to give all three candidates one final chance to campaign for votes. Unfortunately, much like he does during his numerous appearances on Fox News Channel, JBL stole the spotlight.

When approached for this forum, his response was, "Everyone knows I will win, so why bother talking to the other two?" Of course, after then being reminded that his bold prediction meant we wouldn't need to talk to him further, JBL relented and gave us the privilege of a few moments of his precious time to remind "his fans" why he is the right vote.

"Stone Cold Steve Austin and Mick Foley are both in the past; I don't even think anyone remembers them anymore," SmackDown's color commentator cockily crowed. "Obviously, the voting will be a landslide, like Nixon vs. McGovern. People will elect me, no doubt about it."

Despite that claim, JBL obliged "those on the fence" and explained why the voting will be tilted in his favor.

"For JBL, to break new ground is hard to do because I've done everything in this business," he said. "I've been champion and challenger, I've commentated on World Championship Matches. To round that out and be the referee in a World Championship Match, that would be a foursome no one has ever completed. I have no doubt that all of my great fans will make sure that I end up in the ring. I would be very surprised if Foley and Austin together even get 100 votes."

JBL gives off the air that he has an insurmountable lead in the polls, but one has to wonder who he's trying to convince: Is it you, the voting public, or himself? While neither Stone Cold nor Foley have been heard from on SmackDown, JBL has spent every free minute he has campaigning for your vote -- quite possibly a necessity since JBL is the low man of that triumvirate on the totem pole of fan popularity. Unfortunately, his efforts have put the "pain" in campaign trail, as the spear he received from Batista and Undertaker's chokeslam have shown. Will it all end up being worth his egomaniacal efforts?

When reached for their comments, Foley and Stone Cold were much less braggadocios.

"I've proven, whether in WWE Championship Matches or Women's Bra & Panties Matches, that I am the greatest guest referee of all time," the Hardcore Legend laughed. "Seriously, I want to see a great match. Even though I've been through hell and back with Undertaker, if I'm voted in, both competitors know that I'll be there to add to it, not detract from it by playing favorites."

Foley also had one final plea.

"JBL has two hours every week to push himself and Stone Cold's got a movie that's doing well on DVD, so why not show me a little love? Vote with your heart…vote Foley! Have a nice day!"

The Texas Rattlesnake was even more succinct.

"People saw what Stone Cold Steve Austin brings to the table as a guest referee in that Battle of the Billionaires at WrestleMania 23," barked the tough Texan. "Vote Stone Cold, and that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so."

While voting totals are top secret until the moment of truth, the crack staff of bean counters at has assured us that all three men are well over JBL's projected 100-vote mark. Even so, you still have time to make your voice heard. Who do you want to be the man in the middle at Cyber Sunday? Do you want to see the "Wrestling God" in the ring, or would you rather see a Hardcore Legend or a Texas Rattlesnake don the stripes? Cast your vote now, and make sure to watch Cyber Sunday to see if your choice is the winning one!

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