Most Extreme Player for 10/4/06
Before I get to this week's MEP, I would first like to share with you ECW fans the nightmare of a flight I had from New York to Kansas City for this week's ECW on Sci Fi show.
You see, despite knowing my broadcast colleague, Tazz, for over 13 years (now I know why that number is unlucky), this was the first time that I had ever sat next to him on an airplane (this is where Tazz makes a joke during Shootin' with Tazz about him flying in first class and me flying in coach because he has more frequent flier miles...because he wrestled and I didn't...because he has been on the road and I haven't..."beat me if you can"...blah, blah, blah).
Anyway, we are on Midwest which is all first class, so Tazz and I are seated next to each other in an exit row (as tall as we are, we really need the extra leg room). Tazz proceeds to complain about the seats, the footrests, the windowshades, the back of the seat in front of him and, most of all, the fact that he has to sit next to me!
Just wait...it gets better. The most miserable man on the planet then gets so worked up that he loudly insults the ethnicity of everyone on the aircraft including our own (Italian, for those of you who care). To cap off this nightmare, when the poor flight attendant comes over to ask Tazz to stow his man-purse under the seat in front of him, Tazz accuses her of staring at his feet and having a foot fetish!
The worst part about this story? ...THE PLANE HAS NOT EVEN TAKEN OFF YET!
Last week, there were questions about whether or not Dallas Cowboy and Prima Donna, Terrell Owens had taken his own life. All the EMTs had to do is ask Owens one question, "Have you spent any time with Tazz?" If the answer was affirmative, then I would wager that Owens was indeed trying to take the dirt nap. I myself tried to strangle myself with my memory foam travel pillow but, to no avail, woke up on the runway in Kansas with Tazz complaining about the fact that it was 95 degress in October. Tazz showed me a camera phone photo of my failed, half-hearted suicide attempt and yelled at me for not even being able to kill myself as well as he could have done himself in if he wanted to.
Just to steal his thunder, Tazz will no doubt counter this column during his Shootin' with Tazz audio commentary (he's too lazy to actually write a column) by blaming me for Mapquest's shortcomings (MAPQUEST SUCKS!) and accusing me of talking the entire time we were together. The truth is, because we are both old school, I have less experience, and thus, do all the driving and he has more experience, and thus, does all the talking (berating actually).
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...this week's MEP is Rob Van Dam.