WWE Zombies vs. Superstars: How would Superstars survive?
What happens when a zombie plague spreads to the WWE locker room and Superstars start turning into flesh-hungry soldiers in an army of the undead?
WWE.com posed this doomsday scenario to The Miz, Kofi Kingston and Cody Rhodes to find out who would lead, who would live and who would become zombie lunch. Read on to discover what would happen in the war between WWE Superstars and the walk-ring dead.
WWE.com: How would Cody Rhodes survive a zombie apocalypse?
Cody Rhodes: I would survive a zombie apocalypse no frills. I would use the tactic listed in the very good film “Zombieland.” I think it was: have an exit.
WWE.com: Would you use Cross Rhodes on a zombie if you were caught in a jam?
Rhodes: Never lock the living dead in Cross Rhodes because you can get bit. Yet, I can Disaster Kick zombie after zombie after zombie. So it’s always good to have an auxiliary move.
WWE.com: What Superstar would you want to roll with through the zombie wasteland?
Rhodes: JBL has a pretty intimidating presence about him. His old school ways would get rid of a few zombies in our path, but he’s also old and slow so I would be able to get away if one of us had to go down.
WWE.com: When the locker room starts to turn, what zombified Superstar do you plan to avoid?
Rhodes: Probably Ryback. He’d be a brainless, stupid zombie. I don’t know if you’ve read the classic [graphic novel] “The Dark Knight Returns,” but the mutant leader reminds me so much of Ryback. The mutants were like zombies in the first place and that guy was a legit thug of a fighter. Ryback seems like he’d be too much to handle from a zombie standpoint.
WWE.com: Would The Miz be awesome at surviving a zombie apocalypse?
The Miz: If there was a zombie apocalypse, I would be the ultimate survivor. I would try to find as much meat as possible. If meat wasn’t there, I would go for any Little Debbie snack. No matter what, they’ll never rot. So those are what I would be going for.
WWE.com: Zebra Cakes aside, how would you stay alive?
The Miz: How I would survive? I would make sure I have a huge group of people around me and I would be in the middle, so the zombies couldn't get me. They could only get them first. Basically, I’d connive people to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do. I’d be the king of all the people and I would make my servants go out to get eaten.
WWE.com: Who are you running away from when WWE Superstars start turning into zombies?
The Miz: I don’t think anyone would want to cross Big Show, because he’s 7-foot tall, 441 pounds. However, you might because he wouldn’t be able to catch you. That might be one person who I want to cross because I would tease him.
WWE.com: What Superstars would you recruit to help you survive?
The Miz: As many as possible, so I could push them in front of me.
WWE.com: Would Kofi Kingston survive a zombie apocalypse?
Kofi Kingston: Oh absolutely. I think one of the most important things about being a survivor in the zombie world is to be fast, and I’m pretty fast. I’m not afraid to run from a zombie. It’s one of those things where you either run or you get eaten. And I’m not trying to be on the menu.
WWE.com: What if you end up cornered by a zombie horde, are you going for Trouble in Paradise?
Kingston: I definitely would not be hitting any signature holds on a zombie. If I try to hit Trouble in Paradise on a zombie, I could hit a zombie in the mouth and the tooth goes through my shoe. All of a sudden, I’m infected. You’ve got to be smart going up against these zombies. That’s exactly why you get off your high horse and you run. You don’t slug it out with these zombies unless you have a weapon.
WWE.com: Who is the one Superstar you would not want to cross if they turned into a zombie?
Kingston: Off the top of my head, I’d say CM Punk because Halloween is his favorite holiday. He’d probably be a lot smarter than the average zombie, because he’s done so much research. Everybody else would be your standard, typical zombie. He’d be harder to outsmart.
WWE.com: What Superstar would you want watching your back?
Kingston: I don’t even need to think about that one: Big Show. Just because if we ever got overwhelmed with zombies, like I said, I’m fast and he would not be fast. So like Shane sacrificed Otis on “The Walking Dead,” he’d be the sacrifice and I’d be able to get away.