'Total Divas' Season 3, Episode 13 recap: The Champion of Champions
There is some silliness, some seriousness and some sultriness on this week’s episode of E!’s “Total Divas.” We’ll begin, as ever, with the fun stuff: Nikki Bella and John Cena’s competitive genes come to the forefront when a playful argument leads to a truly absurd competition between the two consisting of go-kart racing, mini golf and the like. Not only does Cena wipe the floor with his overwhelmed S.O., but the fratty finale that completes his clean sweep frustrates Nikki so much that she straight-up douses him with a beverage, and then has to be sweet-talked down to earth.
The seriousness next, and it is, in fact, very serious for Eva Marie when she discovers one of her silicone implants is leaking into her bloodstream. With her career picking up steam, Eva decides to ignore doctor’s orders and tough it out in the ring to keep her momentum running. As a result, Jonathan takes matters into his hands and alerts WWE officials to her condition. It’s only a heart-to-heart from The Bellas that convinces Eva to bite the proverbial bullet and have the procedure that will shelve her for months but ensure her continued health and eventual return to form.
As for the last bit? Natalya and Paige are in the midst of a series of matches and Paige, in an effort to rile up both the crowd and her opponent, has been resorting to an unusually sultry form of mind games. Natalya isn’t exactly comfortable with the tactic, which borders on pure PDA, but Paige defies her request to dial back and instead takes it one step further in their rematch by licking the entire side of Nattie’s face. All of this seems destined for a backstage brawl between the two Divas until Paige explains that the match — and Natalya herself — are that much more interesting to watch when The Queen of Harts is really riled up. Nattie, moved to compromise, agrees to a happy medium of harassment in all future contests. Everybody wins.