'Total Divas' Episode 13 recap: This house is not a home
The Funkadactyls take center stage this week on E!’s “Total Divas,” as a pair of mishaps threatens to drive wedges between each of their romantic relationships. Cameron (Ariane) is up first, having gotten the idea in her head that her boyfriend Vinny would make a great WWE Superstar if given the opportunity. He’s skeptical at best, but goes along when she arranges a tryout at the WWE Performance Center. Bill DeMott gets his hands on the guy and the results, to put it gently, are far from humorous; Vinny isn’t so good with the cardio and practically keels over after two practices. Vinny puts Cameron on the spot for forcing him into an opportunity he never really wanted, and she decides to simply support his much more modest dreams.
On the other hemisphere of Planet Funk, Naomi (Trinity) finds herself between a rock and a hard place when her musician dad rolls through and accepts an invite to crash at her apartment. Of course, the pad has another inhabitant – Jimmy Uso (Jon) – and he’s convinced their new houseguest is making himself a bit too comfortable. Given that Naomi doesn’t see much of her dad, Jimmy keeps his grousing to a minimum, but the final straw comes when “Papa Funkadactyl” invites his whole band to the apartment for an after-party following a local show. Ultimately, Naomi has to give her old man the boot from her apartment in order to preserve her relationship.
Having surpassed John Cena’s co-habitation agreement, Nikki Bella now finds that The Champ’s incredibly meticulous nature surrounding his house is preventing her from personalizing it. After her efforts to decorate the walls and cook dinner are met with persnickety disdain (Cena likes his house pristine and blank), Nikki finds herself at wit’s end. Cena runs the situation by his buddy Rob and is advised – during a terribly metaphorical chess match – that if he’s really so concerned about everything going exactly his way, he should refrain from any and all human interaction, let alone living with his girlfriend. Point taken, Cena concedes to some picture frames, candles and a bouquet of roses to cozy up his pad a bit more. Baby steps, folks.
Oh, and Eva Marie’s getting an action figure. Prepare your collection accordingly.