Balls Mahoney teaches ‘Superheroes'
Balls Mahoney will be a special guest on the season finale of Sci Fi's Who Wants to Be a Superhero? on Thursday, Sept. 6, at 10 p.m. Along with a stuntman, the ECW Superstar will give the three finalists tips on fighting.
"At the end of eliminations, the three remaining superheroes are celebrating with champagne as I rudely barge in and tell them that I'm Balls Mahoney of ECW," he said. "They thought I was sent by Doctor Dark. But Stan Lee sends me to these guys, and I tell them to get ready because tomorrow I'm taking them to stunt school."
Who better than an ECW Superstar to teach the future superheroes how to brawl?
"This great stuntman, John, and I do a couple fight combos with the finalists. We teach them how to punch, kick and take falls. …" Balls explained. "But it's just me being me. I train them how to be superheroes and then something happens after I leave, and you'll like it. It's a really good show."
WWE.com asked Balls if he were a superhero, who would he be? He said he left that question up to comic book legend and star of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, Stan Lee, who said he's most like Attila the Hun.
"Stan Lee basically called me an Attila the Hun, kind of like Captain Caveman. Now everyone calls me Captain Caveman. But you know what? There could be worse things to be called than Captain Caveman," Balls laughed. "You all watched the cartoon -- Cavey Wavey got all the hot chicks, so… and I may not be the chick magnet like The Miz, but I don't think I've had too many problems. You've seen it. You know I have no problems whatsoever!"
As for specific superpowers he'd like to have, Balls has chosen quite a few from various superheroes.
"I'm really into vampires. So would I want to be like an undead creature of the night vampire who cannot die? But they already did that with Blade. So I have to take the coolest superpowers, but I'm going to take a couple of them, OK?" he asked.
"I'd have Batman's utility belt and all its cool stuff. I'd also have the Batmobile from Batman Begins. That would be my automobile because that thing's a tank!" he said.
"I'd have to be able to fly. I don't need to be bullet-proof like Superman, but I'd want to be like Hugh Jackman from X-Men and expel bullets," he said.
Oh, but that's not all.
"Finally, I'd also take Superman's see-through powers, not to see through bodies and broken bones, but to see naked chicks. So I could see any chick I want naked," Balls laughed.